My home is a mess

maryotuam

The way I look at it, for someone prone to depression. just getting out of bed and standing up can be as courageous an achievment as climbing Mount Everest to someone else. So we should be gentle on ourselves and give ourselves a pat on the back for each little task we manage to do. Focus on the positives.Well done everyone. Onwards and upwards!

ExTrolly101

Good Morning Messies

Well here at ExTrolly towers nothing much has progressed. Enjoyed the weather at the beginning of the week, my friend came round with her twin toddlers and we cleaned a very dirty paddling pool, full of slime etc and a positive bio hazard!!:eek: We also cleaned the water and sand table and the play kitchen which we were given by a school that closed down. I've done lots of washing and drying on the line, have managed to fold it up and put it in I*ea bags. My sister came on Wednesday with her new baby, she helped me with the kitchen after we'd had a heart to heart about my PND and the state of the house, and the fact it is like a warzone in our house! Yesterday I had to cancel Angela my fairy godmother from coming, I had a stinking migraine, to cap it all DD was sent home from school early feeling unwell. I suggested if we had a nap we would both feel better;);) OH came in late;) from work, had made pack up and flask for him to take to work, he came back as grumpy as ever and I tried to smile sweetly and be the ever cheerful wife, it took some doing!! It's DS 2nd birthday today, OH doesn't seem bothered. Had wanted to invite family and a couple of friends over for cake on Sunday aft, had mentioned it weeks ago as I couldn't get the house sorted on my own. I've had no help and no response from him regarding asking his family. When it was DD 2nd birthday he insisted she had a party at a local play centre and he told everybody in his family to club together wit us to buy a wooden play house. I thought it was excessive but he got his own way. Poor DS, I realised that I hadn't got a card C**d Factory, along with a hat that looks like a birthday cake and has candles on it and plays Happy Birthday. I've seen them in the past at an astronomical price but this was £2.99!!! I've ordered him a Bob the builder telephone from ebay, which still hasn't arrived yet:mad: I've no money of my own for the first time since I was 13 and doing paper rounds!! He has made no mention of DS birthday, so I took the bull by the horns and summoned up the energy to ask him about it all outright at 2.30am!! He said DS didn't need anything and the house was so full of carp we couldn't move as it was. He refused to invite people over as it wasn't his birthday on Sunday!
I'm weary, I think it is the lack of sleep with DS and the constant warfare at home. I'm desperately trying not to slide into another depressive dip but it's not very easy right now. I decided that I would bake a cake for DS birthday, I compromised and bought a mix and frosting from Mr A. Will do that today. I'm trying really hard as DS birthday last year was a non event, I was so ill I nearly sloped off this mortal coil. I'm sorry if that has offended anyone but that is how it was last year. I'm trying to make it the best day I can for him! He's a canada day baby, his canadian god parents sent a tiny parcel via Ups yest and it cost $cd97 they're ringing this eve to talk to him!! Well must go sorry moaning, it's the only vent I#ve got.
Happy tidying, remember babysteps!!

VJsmum

Oh ExTrolley - i don't know what to say Just didn't want to read and run.

Are you getting some help for your depression? I had PND with DD and it was awful (i am prone to frequent bouts of mild depression - well if that's mild god knows what full blown must be like!) but a few months on Prozac sorted me out - i'm told talking therapies help too. You shouldn't have to fight on your own.

DS won't notice if he doesn't have loads of pressies (tho DD might!) but he will notice a big fuss being made of him and i'm sure will love the cake.

Fizzbitz

Morning fellow messies.

Maryotuam - I so agree with your post.

Had a really busy week so just catching up on things. House has gone further to pot if that was possible however work had to come first unfortunately.

Been up since 4 as I just could not sleep. Wholemeal bread and scones plus a cherry cake already baked and cooling. Sorted loads of paperwork out - either shredded or filed. Washing machine loaded and will go on later as don't want to wake neighbours.

Finances really together at long last. I have final settlement figures for my final two debts after much wrangling so can complete my LBM. I have also just written my tax cheque for the July payment - the first time I have ever managed that. Am surprised at how fantastic it feels knowing just WHERE I stand.

Hope you all have a good day.

Fizz

Sagaris

Morning everyone - bit later this morning as I'm off work today - Take That tonight!

ExTrolly - sorry to hear that - he sounds just like my Ex - he was a selfish git, always complaining and never helping - had horrible PND after DD1 and almost ended up in a mental hospital - he didn't see why I should go, I'd only had a baby after all!

DH is home too, has taken the dog for an extra long walk over the country park so she's extra tired out tonight when mum comes to dog sit (yeah, right!), then it's Mr T and whatever else comes up. I was up just before 7 though, straightening things in the living room and generally putting things away - what have I become? :rotfl:

Fizzbitz - I have taken my eye off the ball in respect of the finances too, but I have transferred the remainder of my debt to a 0% Satander card (unfortunately we bank with them too but will get that changed eventually!) so must get and sort that out pronto - thanks for the reminder!

Might even get a start on the dreaded porch :eek: but I'm not holding my breath on that one!

Hope everyone has a good day today!

Skint_but_Optimistic

Messy peoples!

ExTrolly, I know where you are coming from. My DD2 was a non event with my ex. I had PND and he hated paying out for her at that age. No interest. You need to put you and the kids first and make a change if a change is needed (whatever that change may be), your depression wont get any better without proper support.

Cant remember who mentioned fleas, but they lurk in grass and can come in on the hems of trousers. The most effective household sprays need you to shut the room off for a few hours while it works. I would do the whole house, just be careful of any fish you might have. I ahve many pets and need to really be on top of the flea issue. If ours got them we would be teeming, so its all best avoided.

My house looks like the local tip.

OH thinks its "fine"

I like shiny surfaces and carpet free of f*rleys rusks and things not living on the stairs for days. Like trainers and bags.

Last night I made a massive improvement by throwing out dead flowers stood in skanky water. Dusted mantlepiece, emptied the bins and gave a quick hoover, but it needs a bit more than that!

Hoping to empty a cupboard, sell lots of old stuff and make the place smell of flash over the weekend. :-)

Wish me luck, I might get the kitchen tidied if im lucky.

jackieglasgow

Moirning All,

My kitchen has pretty much returned to clean and tidiness at last, and the livingroom is looking good too. I am going to finish it off and get the garden weeded next.

ExTrolly, I am so sorry you are still going through a hard time, PND is a complete b1tch, and tbh your OH sounds like he is depressed too. Its only now when I look back at how things were for my OH when I was ill, that I realise how much the poor man had to cope with, I can't believe he never collapsed himself under all the strain. You are doing so well with getting things done day to day, those small baby steps will add up, soon. I think a birthday hat and a cake sound like a great fuss for DS, and you could always wrap a couple of things he hasn't seen for ages as a wee gift for him. I do knid of see where your OH is coming from, it would only be more stuff for YOU to clean up, although I think he could do with a boot up his backside to help you get it sorted. Is there no one who could take the kids for a weekend, so that the two of you could have a good clearout? A good ruthless one, so that you can clear the decks and get the house organised. God, if you were near me, I would happily come and get stuck in with you.

Make sure you do one kindness for yourself today and everyday. xxx

Maggie_Bob

Skint_but_Optimistic wrote: »

Cant remember who mentioned fleas, but they lurk in grass and can come in on the hems of trousers. The most effective household sprays need you to shut the room off for a few hours while it works. I would do the whole house, just be careful of any fish you might have. I ahve many pets and need to really be on top of the flea issue. If ours got them we would be teeming, so its all best avoided.

That was me with the fleas. Think I'm going to get the best recommended spray I can (loads of people have suggested ones on twitter for me), and then spray all the carpets and soft furniture tomorrow morning and escape for a few hours to enjoy the sunshine in the park/mooch around the shops in town.

Thanks for the tip! :T

x

scattymam1

parsniphead wrote: »

Scattymam - The Tidiness - that's it, off you go to flyladies:rotfl::rotfl:K

:rotfl::eek: flyladys, have u seen their lists over there, phew...no way i could keep up with that lot. The house is looking a right mess again, but i guess it's just surface clutter. My biggest problem is my one year old grabs things and drops things and throws things, so the floors are covered and i find it hard bending.

Now i def. Can't bend. Do u want to hear a funny story... I fell over in morrisons the other day as my son tried to run away and as i grabbed him my knee cap popped out of place, which hurts really bad and my leg buckles and i fall in agony, i've done this twice before...being in morrisons i had 5 first aiders round me in seconds, they wouldn't let me get up, so embarrased, looking at me knee and i hadn't shaved my legs!!!:o I did pass out with the pain like so been to doctors today to try and get it sorted!

But this means the house is going to end up in disarray as i can't bend or kneel, i can walk but am limping. I might think up an incentive thing with dd after school, like if she helps me pick up off the floor she'll get a treat. Then i can just do dishes, etc; i'll have to milk it over the weekend like with hubby like, get sone rest time in x

For those battling depression, see your doctor...i'm on a mild antidepressant and it really does help. Plenty people need help to balance the hormones xxx

ExTrolly101

Hello Messies

Sorry about my earlier rant. Thank you for hugs and support. I have been on anti depressants for some considerable time now, I have them regularly reviewed I have CBT counselling and have had support from the NSPCC( I don't beat my kids:p) for their PND course the local childrens centre. My health visitor has helped getting DS referred. My mum & sister are suportive but my dad is just a bloke and always puts his feet in it!!! Bob the builder telephone arrived. DS loves it. He's had Thomas tops from my friend. Canada t shirt and canadian deely bopper type thing as it's canada day!! Been to Aldi in search of wetsuit, offer was on a couple of weeks ago and now run out but did get organiser car seat thing for kids and some stuff for picnic tomorrow, we're going to filey with my friends church all in convoy!!
Next door neighbour has gone to a big Mr S and has found a wet suit and is bringing it for me.:D
Haven't done cake yet just doing lunch:jand then nap time. Don't intend to do much HW today. Just listening to the lovely :money:on R2 he's so wise and he's making me laugh chatting about joint accounts!!!
check in later!