My home is a mess

YORKSHIRELASS

greensalad wrote: »

How on earth can I convince her to declutter? She hates throwing anything away whereas I'm a 'do I need it, have I used it in the last 3 months, will I likely ever use it' person - if the answer to all three is no then it goes straight in the bin/charity bag/bootfair box!

I wonder if you could use the same strategy that I used on my son. We had endless arguments about his bedroom and I realised that he wanted to make it look nice but didnt want to throw anything out. In the end I said to him "would you trust me to sort your bedroom out for you and make it look really nice - and would you let me clear out anything that I think needs to go". He agreed and I sent him off for the day while I worked like a demon - he was thrilled when he came back and didnt complain about anything I had got rid of. Maybe if you could do this in one room for you Mum it might persuade her to carry it on?

Sagaris

Oh well, got home, DH put dinner on while I did the post (mainly recycling!), quick cup of tea, him out to walk the dog, I'm just going up in our room for a quick 5 mins tidy and putting more stuff away. I'd like to REALLY get it super clean at the weekend, pulling out all the furniture etc - not sure if I will get there as there are plans afoot, most of which involve us being out and about! :rotfl: I'm not complaining though!

We will see what gets done tonight first!

Called into Mum on the way home, she's packing up to move house in a big way now - just makes me more resolved to get decluttered, clean and tidy - I can't stand the thought of having to do all this while moving too!

greensalad

YORKSHIRELASS wrote: »

I wonder if you could use the same strategy that I used on my son. We had endless arguments about his bedroom and I realised that he wanted to make it look nice but didnt want to throw anything out. In the end I said to him "would you trust me to sort your bedroom out for you and make it look really nice - and would you let me clear out anything that I think needs to go". He agreed and I sent him off for the day while I worked like a demon - he was thrilled when he came back and didnt complain about anything I had got rid of. Maybe if you could do this in one room for you Mum it might persuade her to carry it on?

This sounds like a fairly good idea! Although I think I've done something before. My Mum wanted to redecorate the dining room last summer so I agreed I would do it as she didn't have the time. I made it look really nice, went through all our old books and put some in boxes to give to the charity shop etc. She was thrilled but began picking through the boxes and didn't want to get rid of anything. Things like old videos (we don't even have a video player!) and others. The box is still sitting dumped in the dining room because she can't make up her mind whether or not to get rid!

Maybe I should just give it away on freecycle and see if she notices...

MessyMare

Hugs to you Mary, I hope your OH decides your plan is a good one. I haven't done a single thing today and don't intend to today either Might wipe around the bathroom when I run myself a bath, and will make myself a sandwich. Very low today I broke a £250 ceramic watch at work yesterday and still feel rubbish about it. Putting on a happy face but OH has been upstairs asleep on the bed for god knows how long so sinking into it a bit. Will get up and go do something. Well done to everyone that has done something today x

candygirl

Mary, I think a cleaner is essential for you hun, so you can keep all your reserves of energy up:A:A
Have washed n folded tons of clothes n bedding, and found my fave duvet under the washing mountain:T:T:T
Rest of the day has been spent with Boo, and bought her a hobby horse that neighs:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

parsniphead

Hello Messies old and new.

Maryotaum - Huge hugs to you.

YORKSHIRELASS wrote: »

No sorry, if my sister ever feels the urge to declutter someone else's house she is coming round to mine first!!! I have really taken her advice on board though, more stuff means more stress because everything is messy and you cant find anything. It also means its harder to clean because you have to tidy first which takes twice as long.

Oh well, it was worth a try;)

Noit much done today, and felt ashamed when the health visitor needed to go to the bathroom to wash her hands.:o It's given me a bit of a kick up the bum (a little one).

I hope to get loads done tomorrow, lets see what happens.

Have a good day/evening everyone

snookey

Mary can you get any help from social services regarding a home help. At this time you need to be able to do the things you enjoy not doing house chores. Maybe write your oh a letter explaining how you feel and the need for a cleaner. Its sounds as if he is trying to act as if everything is okay so he does not have to face up to reality.
God bless.

VJsmum

I have had a productive day :A

Although it is a bit at the worse before it's better stage.

Went into spare room and finally evicted the bag of curtains that have been in there since we moved 13 YEARS AGO!!! :eek: :eek:Also sorted out some books and toys for charity shop, ebay, original family owners, former primary school and some to keeep. I really wish i could bring myself to chuck out some of the myriad of cuddly toys but they LOOK at me so and i havent' the heart to get rid of them. Also had a bit of a sortout of some clothes and dressing up stuff that can be ebayed.

COunted up the pennies in the penny jar and have £48 to pay into the bank.:D

Tidied the pit of a cupboard in the kitchen, sorted, chucked and relocated and now there is room for stuff that is spilling outof a different cupboard.

Went thro all the food cupboards and the freezers and did an inventory, the upshot being that i shouldn't have to buy many "main meals" for a couple of weeks, found storecubpoard and freezer stuff to make a chocolate and raspberry trifle for pud, also used up some dried fruit to make a cold tea cake, and used some odds and sods to make muesli.

Also did 2 loads of washing.

And i polished my halo :A

It won't last
:rotfl:

Dee_Mented

Well, the skip arrived this afternoon and I had several bags rubbish to go into it. Tip of the iceberg, really, there's still an awful lot to do - have the skip for 6 days, and I bet I'll need all that time to catch up!

Reading everyone's posts, I am certain that depression has a lot to do with our messiness. When I am happy, I can whizz through housework (although I'd rather do something else, I must confess!), but if it's a miserable day, I CBA! A messy house doesn't help my self esteem either, as I feel I am a disgrace (and I know I am), to housewives everywhere. I want the day to come when I don't cringe when someone comes to the door, or a visitor wants to visit the bathroom.

Anyway, I know I have done quite well today, getting rid of stuff for the skip, and also have bags of bric a brac, books, toys and clothes for a charity pick up tomorrow. I prefer to take things to the shops, but as I don't drive, this is the best option.

To all fellow messies, have a good night, have faith, things will get better and we can all totter along on our baby steps together!

:grouphug:

Dee
xxxx

maryotuam

Snookey, at the moment everything looks reasonably tidy and clean but I havn't the energy to stop it sliding back to where I was twenty years ago. It has been Sooo good being on top of things! Because I get DLA we can afford to pay a cleaner to maybe come round once a week and mop and hoover round once. We should be able to do the rest as we go along. At the moment I've still got some energu I'm going to have another chat with the OH in the next few days and see if he is more open,
Thanks for the support!!!.