My home is a mess

skeeter93

We moved out here to Australia 27 years ago, and my parents brought everything they owned with them. Most of our possessions are older than me, and I'm in my mid thirties! Trying to get rid of stuff is such a drama, because everything belonged to some dead relly, or was given by a relly. For 2-3 years it seems like all we have done is move the same rubbish around the house, never actually getting anyway. Finally I see the light!

Emm-in-a-pickle

That sounds so familiar - moving the same rubbish around the house!! Whatever the reasons for hanging on to it, if it`s rubbish it`s rubbish! It IS hard though, when other folks in the household don`t see it that way. It`s bad enough sometimes just trying to convince yourself that clutter has to go!

Well, today is my first late shift since starting back, and for some daft reason I feel really down. I have cleaned the kitchen and even shined the sink & drainer which usually lifts the mood, but not today. I think part of the reason is I don`t know what I`m working after Friday, I hate not knowing till last minute.

Hope other Messies are having a reasonable day. x

Doobop

Hi, went back to lurking awhile. Downstairs not too bad at present as we had people round... room of doom - study - is a very different story! Emm - I know what you mean, it's frustrating when you can't plan around what you're doing the next day. Dibuzz - don't beat yourself up for being sad. I wonder if you could do something you'd normally tell the counsellor about - like, I went into town, and write him a thank you letter and include it. Just an idea, may spur you on.

alec_eiffel

Hi everyone,

I've not had a great week, nothing serious, just one of those weeks where a thousand little things conspire against you. The house has taken a little hit but a lot of sweeping and a swish round with Henry should go a long way to making it look lots better.

Hope you're all OK.

Emm-in-a-pickle

Hi Messies!

Doobop, it`s a pain having to get the house `visitor tidy`, but the after effect is nice!

Dibuzz, I think Doobp`s idea of a `thankyou letter` sounds good - writing it may help, even if you decided you didn`t want to send it. I hope you`re having some better days now. x

Alec E - it only takes the conspiracy of half a dozen little things for my house to take a big hit!! You`ll soon be back on track though.

Chez-Emm -
Work-wise, things are building back up to `normal` - I did a late shift on Wednesday, and was asked to do the early Thursday instead of today, so I agreed and now off till Monday.
Glad I swapped because I was glad of the continuity, as well as finally being properly `logged in` to the new computerised medicine stock cupboard (they call it the Robot, it takes your fingerprint and you swipe your card, and it talks !)by our ward pharmacist. This was hilarious because as she demonstrated one of the automated drawers opened and got stuck. There was something wedged in it so it had to be switched off, partially dismantled and reassembled, and then re-booted. (Progress??)
The pharmacist kept saying `it`s quite simple really`, and I said I`d only needed to be formally introduced to it, not have it partially dissected before my eyes!
I have also got my shifts for the next 3 weeks, which makes me feel a lot better about planning a balance between home and work.
Yesterday I made a BIG pasta dish - beef skirt & rib bones simmered in tomato onion and cinnamon, then orzo pasta cooked in the stock and the whole lot put in a big oven dish with loads of fresh parsley, cheese on top and browned in the oven, a bit like lasagne but a lot heftier! It`s nice cold, too, so we`ll be having same again with a bit of salad tonight.
I also did a trash-trawl, one WM load, and tidied kitchen & LR.
Today - I`ve had a lie-in!
I`m nipping to farmshop for a bit of fruit & veg now, then picking DGD up from school. THIS is my Day Off, after all.

Doobop

Well, house is no longer ready for visitors but it's the weekend so a bit of catching up tomorrow. Very glad it'd Friday!

YORKSHIRELASS

Emm-in-a-pickle wrote: »

YL, are there 2 p/t jobs AND the voluntary thing, or is that one of them? Sorry, that`s surely too much.

Err, yeah. Until recently I was doing 2 part time jobs and 2 voluntary jobs, I have now ditched 1 of the voluntary jobs and I am grimly hanging on to the other because I enjoy it and its only a few hours a month.

Its all getting on top of me at the moment a bit and I am scared that I am not coping. As well as the 2 jobs I have my son who is at home all the time because he has serious health problems and he seems to be very clingy at the moment. I do 90% of the cooking, cleaning, shopping, managing the finances and ferrying our youngest about. I have tried to talk to OH but he is just not listening.

Weekend tomorrow but I will have to work some of it. Oh and I forgot to include in my list studying, I am doing an online course that is pretty much compulsory for one of my jobs.

Sorry for waffling on about me and my troubles. Hugs Dibuzz, I am with you hun. Emms, love your story about the new system at work. We have had new computers installed and there have been some tricky moments.

Well an early night sounds like a good idea I think. House is not too bad at the moment, except for DSs bedroom which he needs to sort tomorrow.

Emm-in-a-pickle

Good Morning!

YL, I do sympathise as I do all the cooking/cleaning/shopping and budgeting here, and I`m the only driver in the house. When I`ve been ill the menfolk do a bit, but as soon as I`m on my feet again it`s left to me. Now, I`m slowly building up to my humble 30-hour week again, and sometimes feeling a bit apprehensive about juggling it all.
But YOUR juggling act is in a different league! I`m wondering how you cope, but thinking that maybe because you are coping (apart from stressing) that`s why your OH can`t see the wood for the trees and just lets you get on with it. I`m also wondering if some of your son`s clinginess is him picking up on your stress.
I don`t know what the answer is.
I`ve done the occasional rant. All it achieves is a short-term bit of effort from OH & DS, then it goes back to `normal`.
I`ve tried the reasonable pleading (with DS, to sort his clutter in spare room of Doom) and there have been a few Starts, but then the effort peters out and half-sorted clutter looks worse than before.
I`ve tried the guilt trip (with both of them) and all that produces is their attempts to convince and reassure me that the house is just fine as it is (!!) and the food is great....
Sorry, this isn`t much help.
If anyone else has an answer I`d be glad to hear it too.

YORKSHIRELASS

Emm-in-a-pickle wrote: »

Good Morning!

YL, I do sympathise as I do all the cooking/cleaning/shopping and budgeting here, and I`m the only driver in the house. When I`ve been ill the menfolk do a bit, but as soon as I`m on my feet again it`s left to me. Now, I`m slowly building up to my humble 30-hour week again, and sometimes feeling a bit apprehensive about juggling it all.
But YOUR juggling act is in a different league! I`m wondering how you cope, but thinking that maybe because you are coping (apart from stressing) that`s why your OH can`t see the wood for the trees and just lets you get on with it. I`m also wondering if some of your son`s clinginess is him picking up on your stress.
I don`t know what the answer is.
I`ve done the occasional rant. All it achieves is a short-term bit of effort from OH & DS, then it goes back to `normal`.
I`ve tried the reasonable pleading (with DS, to sort his clutter in spare room of Doom) and there have been a few Starts, but then the effort peters out and half-sorted clutter looks worse than before.
I`ve tried the guilt trip (with both of them) and all that produces is their attempts to convince and reassure me that the house is just fine as it is (!!) and the food is great....
Sorry, this isn`t much help.
If anyone else has an answer I`d be glad to hear it too.

Emm you have made some really good points there, especially about my son, I hadnt thought about that. OH is a good man, kind and generous to a fault but I think that he doesnt know what to do to help. I just keep saying to him that its the little things that make a difference. If someone empties the dishwasher, makes the bed or hangs the washing out this can make a real difference to my day.

I have been reading an interesting article about stress and anxiety and how important it is to make time to relax every day so I am going to try and do that. Some days I am literally on the go until bedtime which I know isnt healthy.

But as you say, if anyone has any tips on managing a busy and stressful life, especially if you are a worrier like me I would love to hear your thoughts.

lindab15

This sounds so familiar. I have so many days where I end up feeling down and sorry for myself 'cos I never stop and it's as though full dishwashers, full rubbish bins, full washing baskets etc etc are completely invisible to all but me.

Anyway - what I don't do enough of, but mostly works well when I do remember to do it, is just to make eye contact with OH or DD or whoever, smile nicely and say, 'will you please hoover (or wash up, or empty the dishwasher etc etc), while I'm putting the laundry away. Would be a big help' and then I just walk away and expect them to do it. Mostly they do, 'cos it was a direct, unequivocal request of them and them alone. Plus I don't give them time to argue or think of an excuse about why they can't .......:rotfl:

When I don't do this, and end up really stressed out, miserable and snappy at OH, he always says, 'why didn't you ask, I didn't realise' etc etc. 'Cos obviously I AM the only person in the house who can see the jobs that need to be done.....