My home is a mess

short_bird

candygirl wrote: »

Anyway am proud to report i've got rid of 22 st of lard (the ex)

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Sorry, I know I shouldn't :rotfl: but I loved the way you said it!

dibuzz

I know I should have expected it but she has been home all aternoon and kept saying she is doing it later.
Shes just turned to me and said "by the way it won't be done" and has gone out.
I told her they wont do it if they cant get in and can cut us off and all she says is "it will be alright" and is refusing to let me in to do anything.
Everything I say to her she answers with "yea ok" and laughs.
I've told her she will have to swap rooms with me and she just laughs at me, I'm just sat here crying and have scratched my arm to bits which I do when I get like this

Up to now I had done well today and got a lot done but what's the point?

candygirl

short_bird wrote: »

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Sorry, I know I shouldn't :rotfl: but I loved the way you said it!

Tis ok hun, i'm laughing all the way to the fridge nowadays, cos at least it's not as empty x;)

sonastin

dibuzz wrote: »

I know I should have expected it but she has been home all aternoon and kept saying she is doing it later.
Shes just turned to me and said "by the way it won't be done" and has gone out.
I told her they wont do it if they cant get in and can cut us off and all she says is "it will be alright" and is refusing to let me in to do anything.
Everything I say to her she answers with "yea ok" and laughs.
I've told her she will have to swap rooms with me and she just laughs at me, I'm just sat here crying and have scratched my arm to bits which I do when I get like this

Up to now I had done well today and got a lot done but what's the point?

(((((((hugs)))))))
Now it really is time to stand up for yourself. I understand a mother will do anything for her offspring but when said offspring acts like an ungrateful little so-and-so who would gladly leave her mother in tears and live it up then lift a finger to help, the mother isn't doing said ingrate any favours by putting up with it. Time to pull yourself together, stop crying and get in her room and start moving stuff. I suggest you pile everything between the door and the fire onto her bed and tell her she has to sleep on the sofa until the gas man has been. Or she can go and sleep at her dad's but she ain't allowed to block the path to the fire until it has been serviced.

Oh, and I also suggest you switch off the radiator in her room and (if you're as mean as me, which I can tell you're not so this is just for effect!) jam her bedroom window open. If she doesn't care about the gas being cut off she can find out how blessed she has been to live in a warm house.

bluebag

dibuzz wrote: »

I know I should have expected it but she has been home all aternoon and kept saying she is doing it later.
Shes just turned to me and said "by the way it won't be done" and has gone out.
I told her they wont do it if they cant get in and can cut us off and all she says is "it will be alright" and is refusing to let me in to do anything.
Everything I say to her she answers with "yea ok" and laughs.
I've told her she will have to swap rooms with me and she just laughs at me, I'm just sat here crying and have scratched my arm to bits which I do when I get like this

Up to now I had done well today and got a lot done but what's the point?

I am beyond soft with my girls, but this is very uncooperative.

It is clearly getting to you in a very unpleasant way. It would seem to me she doesn't think you will carry through your consequences.

You may need to change her mind on this.

Hard to do but it's a valuable life lesson, actions have consequences.

I have two that have had their hour as 'princess of the universe' so believe me I know how hard it is, but it had to be done or mine would have gone through life thinking that saying 'whatever' is the answer to everything.

dibuzz

Eldest son came down and helped me clear a path to the fire, we filled 2 binbags, one with trainers and one with rubbish off the floor which was disgusting, mouldy food, dried up used baby wipes, receipts, paper, empty cans and bottles and even used sanitary towels :mad:
She came home and told us to get out of her room then emptied the trainers out onto the floor, son asked her what she wat thinking and she said she was going to do it herself but went out again an hour later and has done nothing.
As soon as she's gone to work I will have to move them all again.
I can't get to the radiator or the window although there is so much piled up in front of the radiator it wont be effective anyway. The curtains haven't been opened for months and there is no light bulb as nobody can get near to change it.

rosalie-lavender

dibuzz wrote: »

Eldest son came down and helped me clear a path to the fire, we filled 2 binbags, one with trainers and one with rubbish off the floor which was disgusting, mouldy food, dried up used baby wipes, receipts, paper, empty cans and bottles and even used sanitary towels :mad:
She came home and told us to get out of her room then emptied the trainers out onto the floor, son asked her what she wat thinking and she said she was going to do it herself but went out again an hour later and has done nothing.
As soon as she's gone to work I will have to move them all again.
I can't get to the radiator or the window although there is so much piled up in front of the radiator it wont be effective anyway. The curtains haven't been opened for months and there is no light bulb as nobody can get near to change it.

Well I am one of the softest Mum's in the universe but I totally agree with the others you need to stand up to her. Stand your ground. After all she is living in your house so it isn't her room, it's your room that you let her live in. Perhaps she needs to be shown a list of how much it would cost to live independently. Her behaviour is appalling.

Perhaps if she comes home and finds all her things in your room and you have moved into hers she will realise you mean business! Not that easy without some help though.

I think a message needs to go to her loud and clear that the mess will be moved one way or another and the safety check will go ahead whether she likes it or not. You will get moral support on this thread I am sure.

Emm-in-a-pickle

Dibuzz - I do hope your gas inspection is going ahead regardless. Not just because it`s necessary, but because it will show your daughter that she isn`t controlling events like she thinks she is! I`m glad your eldest son has tried to help you and be supportive, too, but even your joint efforts haven`t shamed her into getting her mess shifted - get the inspection over with, and then tell her to look for somewhere else to live!

snookey

Dibuzz used towels! that should be the last straw.
Your mental state is not going to improve whilst your daughter is living with you. Her lack of respect for you and herself needs to be addressed.

Get the binbags and shove all her things in them and throw them out. Clean the room up and kick her out.

dibuzz

Thanks everyone, it does help having someone to moan to, there's nobody else except the dog and I don't think she listens half the time.

I came back from walking the dog this morning to find daughter had gone to work but had left a bin bag full of rubbish in the hall. I had a look in her room and it's still disgusting but she had moved all the trainers and I managed to hoover a small path from the door to the fire. I won't see her until tomorrow as it's stocktake day and I will probably be in bed when she gets back.

The boiler has been serviced and the cooker and fire checked, everything's fine and it wasn't as bad as I expected. I don't like people in the house but he was a lovely older man who I felt comfortable with, he even remarked on the shed with it's little patch where I ran out of paint.

My eldest is always the most supportive and can tell when I'm struggling to cope. He understands that depression is an illness whereas my mum, ex and other kids all think it's an excuse to do nothing (even though I'm the one that does it all anyway)
My mum often says "cheer up, we all get fed up sometimes" if only it was that easy.

Anyway on a brighter note, I have cleaned the living room including under everything except the sofa and TV which I can't move on my own.
I had to move the iron and ironing board to give the gas man more room so ironed eldests' shirts and pants.
I've also sorted out 2 drawers in my room, filled a charity bag and thrown out quite a bit of junk.