My home is a mess

YORKSHIRELASS

Hi all

Sorry, been missing a bit. Trying to get my head around the new job, plus my old job which I am still doing and my voluntary work AND trying to keep on top of things in the house.

dibuzz, hugs from a fellow messy. Its really hard when family members are prepared to live in a mess and wont do anything to sort it out. I have trouble with the whole thing of allowing the kids to let their rooms become complete disaster zones. I wish I didnt care as much but its MY HOME and I dont want their bedrooms full of dirty clothes and unwashed dishes. So, do you just do it yourself or argue endlessly with them to get it done? Not easy.

Along the same lines it causes tension between me and OH. Classic example earlier tonight. I am tired and grumpy but the kitchen is a state. If I dont sort the kitchen today it just means doing it tomorrow when I am even busier. Hubby says oh come on, just sit down for a bit and we will tackle it later. This is hubby speak for lets just watch telly until its too late to bother. Trouble is he doesnt really care that the kitchen is in a mess and I do.

Sorry that turned into a bit of a rant! I need an early night I think.

sonastin

YL - I can feel your pain. I wish I could find a way to get OH to do anything remotely helpful in the kitchen. Tonight I persuaded him to make a bread and butter pudding while I was dishing up dinner and then I turned around to find milk, sugar, sultanas and eggs left out, and the pudding still sitting on the side ready to go in the oven... which I'd left on ready for it. Apparently putting stuff in the oven is my job! Now I'm sitting here wondering if there is any chance of him doing something with the leftovers or if they are going to be sitting on the worktop until I decide what to do with them. He doesn't feel the need to do the washing up straight after dinner but then he falls asleep in front of the TV and is too tired so goes straight to bed. Some days, I go on strike and leave the dirty dishes over night and all the next day while I'm at work and they're still there when I get home. I wouldn't mind but every time I have words about him using the dishwasher, he tells me that he hates the dishwasher and prefers washing up. Apparently he finds washing up therapeutic. So why the bloody hell won't he ever do any?!

Anyway, rant over. Sorry to hijack your rant!


Dibuzz - you said your daughter promised she'd sort everything out if she could have the downstairs room. She hasn't kept her promise, no need for you to let her have the room. Sounds to me like it really is ultimatum time. Sort it or move. Even if her stuff won't fit into the upstairs room any more. Its amazing what you can fit into a small space if you want to... you could move it all up there when she's not home... the bed will take up less space if you stand it on end!... if she wants to sleep in there she'll have to do something about all the carp.

Its easy to be tough from the safety of my keyboard but as you can see from above, I can't even get my partner to do his share of the washing up so I totally get how hard it is for you. Just remember that we're all here and on your side so if you need some moral support while you're trying to take the hard line, we'll back you up!


Chez Sonastin? Not a lot of demessying! OH and I replaced the fence between us and Mr Grumpy over the last couple of days (with the help of a nice neighbour) so now we have a bit of privacy in our back garden and Mr Grumpy can't see how messy the garden is! Replacing the fence involved relocating a vast amount of building materials that are being stored in the garden so I suppose you could consider that to be demessying. The bathroom really needs some attention again but pretty much every single muscle in my body is hurting just now so I don't think the bending and reaching needed to clean the shower is really possible! Maybe tomorrow if I can actually move

candygirl

Hi peeps:j:j:j
Used to come on here a bit a while ago, but haven't been on for ages:(Anyway am proud to report i've got rid of 22 st of lard (the ex) and have also bought a fab new cord less hoover, so my house is looking a lot better already x:D Have also decluttered tons of stuff

grousescot

Emm-in-a-pickle wrote: »

Grousescot, I know those dust-bunnies! Only here we call them dust-buffaloes...and it`s going to get worse here with a second dog and the woolly rugs in LR now for winter instead of the cotton ones.

Dust buffalo would certainly describe what I discovered was bunging up the hoover today. No wonder it didn't seem to be picking up much so my (albeit infrequent) hoovering of late was doing even less than I thought. I was on the point of looking for a new one. How on earth dust clumps together like this is beyond me.

I still have a fair bit to sort out but the place looks so much clearer and tidier than just a couple of days ago. It has even lifted my mood a bit. I have a day off tomorrow so plan to devote that to dealing with the amount of paperwork I've got - filing, binning as appropriate. I've been finding bank statements from 3 years ago or more scattered about the place so this is massively overdue.

snookey

Dibuzz having the same trouble with dd although she is only ten. Threats were made to throw all her toys away if its not kept clean. May just bundle them all up and hide them,lol.
Cleaned her room and told her to stop using the floor as a bin.
I would binbag all you dd stuff though and throw them out as she is an adult. Your not being respected in your own home and unless you take a stand things wont get any better.
FW sorry to hear about your poor nan hope she gets well soon.
Emm there is a dog show in the park facing us next week. One of the shows is for best fancy dress on the dog. Im thinking of taking our pooch and dressing him up. Not sure he would like it but my dd will.
Iv cleaned dd room,changed beds,done dishes, cooked a roast cleaned the kitchen,cleaned the bathroom and hoovered.
Thats the most work Iv done in days and Im hoping that its kick started me for the rest of the week.
Oh and Iv bought a second hand dishwasher.
Take care everyone.

alec_eiffel

Shock behaviour over the weekend, DH demanded that we buy a tumble drier. Apparently he wasn't having a go at me for not getting the laundry dry but it was getting on his nerves in the house. Still no sign of a dishwasher though.

farmerswife75

Good afternoon messies!

Thank you all for the kind words regarding my grandma, she's now sitting up in bed and can eat with a bit of a struggle as she has to wear a collar to mend the broken bone in her neck! If she doesn't wear it the docs have said she won't be able to walk!

This morning i've made 2 apple crumbles for one of my friends that buys cakes etc from me, i boiled the potatoes to put on top of the shepherds pie for supper so thats all made in the fridge for later......Is it any wonder i never get any housework done as i seem to spend all my time cooking and baking!! haha!! Made lunch for mr farmer and eldest son & now thinking of lots of reasons to not go and clean the bathroom!!

Hope everyone is having a good day!!

jxx

Emm-in-a-pickle

Hi Messies!
Reading some of the recent posts one thing is clear - we aren`t just Messies because of our own disorganised or procrastinating messy ways, many of us are subject to and hampered by the Messyness of the folks we live with.
At least we can come on here and have a rant and be understood, and I believe that helps.
Another problem we seem to share is that we feel somehow responsible, even shamed, by other folks` mess, as if WE are the ones to be judged for it just because we`re the ones who try to do something about it and fall short of any real success!
This is SO wrong thinking.
No wonder we have to rant!!!

I`m off to work soon, feel like I`ve done half a day`s work already - blitzed kitchen, one WM load hung upstairs as we don`t have tumbly drier here, tidied LR and sorted the dogs out.
I know it`ll be at least semi-trashed by the time I get home, but at least supper is ready (last nights mega chicken stew, loads left, might throw in as few dumplings tonight.)
Have a decent pm all.x

alec_eiffel

Glad to hear your Gramdma is sitting up and eating, hope she's not too glum.

snookey

alec eiffel I would be lost without my tumble drier although they are expensive to run. Work on the hubby for that dishwasher next.
Farmers wife glad to see your nan is on the mend.
Emm if I lived on my own Id have a show home as Iv had so much practice at housework.
Iv a pile of washing plus dd rug from her room to still do. Will do this later. Yesterday did give me a badly needed start as the housework was piling up.
See everyone later. Take care.