13 Moons part 2 - Freebird & Frugabulous

Lula-Hula

Thank you again for all your lovely thoughts & words.

I've always been a bit sniffy about multi vitamins etc, being a firm believer in getting all necessary nutrients from daily food.

Clearly I don't get all mine & as wordsmith mentioned anaemia I remembered that I have succumbed to that in the past & that was one of my reasons for not being veggie anymore. I was constantly being turned away from blood donor sessions due to my juice being a bit on the watery side . I used to eat loads of fruit n fibre type cereals to boost my system but am right off cereals at the moment.

Yes Karma - I'm probably not getting enough sleep either, trouble is at night is my 'head space' time as there are no other demands on my time then. I do need to get to bed earlier.

In general I do need to take better care of myself. Rather ironic that, as I am currently half way through compiling a list of things I want to achieve for a new challenge, & the first category is myself. I recognised in thought that without looking after my own mental & physical health I won't be able to do very well at the other stuff, but somehow I've not put it into practice.

I've been very fortunate so far that I've enjoyed good health. I do have stress points of which one is my back & another is a tendency to mild depression when overwhelmed.

I accept Karma s wisdom, that yes, my body is getting older & probably can't quite function on minimal rest & nutrition. The home-job is not brilliant for bones & I do find that more tiring than I did when I started it some 10 years ago. Unsurprising really.

However, this does not mean that I have to give up & start wearing a shawl & blue rinse. It means that I need to start putting my health ahead of everything else. No point working in the evenings to earn money to pay off debts & buy lappies for DD if I become a decrepit bed ridden old bag in doing so.

It's not that long ago that I cut my home-job down to 2 days a week as I was feeling the stress of it. I did a couple of mondays to help out & now here I am back where I started again, too tired, too stressed & too hacked off with it all :doh:. My intentions were to help out other worker so she can come back to her job when her situation improves & I am earning more money out of it ... but I need to put a time limit on it. And stick to it.

I love MSE & would happily potter about on here for a couple of hours every day . I just dont have time to do that along with the 2 jobs & other stuff.

At work my time management skills are superb.

At home, I'm RUBBISH. Mainly, I think, due to being so susceptible to random events or my own feelings. I'm all over the place.

I need to sort this out, as it's causing a lot of the aggro I'm feeling. Hopefully once DD is back at school, a new routine will be established & I can find a way to complete all my necessary tasks during the week so that week ends really are for having fun.

I started this new plan this morning with some yoga stretches, followed by a bath, then some coffee. Put a load of washing on, decluttered more stuff for charity shop & then had another coffee with 2 slices of delicious toast & honey .

To do all that on a normal school/work day would require getting up at about 5 :eek:. We'll need to be out the door by 8.20 when DD starts school, I'll be arriving at work earlier so maybe I need to see if I can leave earlier too. It was nice starting at 9.30 when I first worked there because I got a chore a day done before going to work. If I leave earlier, maybe I can do the same ...

Going to hang washing out now & then consider doing some cleaning.

Bye for now
xx

Karmacat

Okay, sleep and vitamins ... the vitamins are easy-ish, it can be hard to change the time you go to bed - I've managed it now, I go much earlier, but it took **ages** to do, I confess And I do understand about wanting to get all your nutrients from food, but in our society, that takes a *lot* of work, and you, in particular, just don't have the time (cos of DD, and working outside the house).

Logically, you've known you need to take more care of yourself - feeling bleurgh at the moment is the emotional confirmation of that :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: of course, I'm in exactly the same boat, but I've been refusing to listen to the emotional confirmation for, oh, a long time :o:o

I refuse to let you have a blue rinse unless its electric blue with fuschia highlights

You have the time management skills at work, so they need to become transferable .... if they haven't been because of mild depression/your own feelings, whatever (again, I'm thinking of myself here) its because you maybe haven't scheduled in enough "time off". Although you have the odd full day out to rellie land, a *lot* of your weekend sounds like its spent cleaning .... now, I know what we write of on here is deceptive, but to me thats an absolute no no! I know you need to wash the dishes and whatnot, but to do the weekly clean at the weekend seems to me a real waste of time, and doesn't give you proper days off - now that DD is a bit older, you probably don't need to do as much - you might even do less and hand some of that "less" to her to do, so the two of you are working together? No idea how that works

As for not having the time on a schoolday to do what you did today, well, no. But you can maybe do some of it - the yoga stretches, for instance (and definitely the toast and coffee ). Rejigging the hours a little bit with work because of DD's timetable sounds an excellent idea

Sorry, this is a lot more commentary than you were looking at getting, I'm sure :o:o but even tho you have DD, I'm looking at similar issues in my own life. Ageing ... argh! One of the first things people get is their eyesight going, for instance, and because I have one eye with distance and the other eye with short, I *still* don't have glasses. But thats resulted in me not *having* to deal with ageing issues till the arthritis struck last year, so it was a hefty blow still, I'm dealing.

RosaBernicia

Karmacat wrote: »

You have the time management skills at work, so they need to become transferable .... if they haven't been because of mild depression/your own feelings, whatever (again, I'm thinking of myself here) its because you maybe haven't scheduled in enough "time off".

from here too.

Karmacat wrote: »

now, I know what we write of on here is deceptive, but to me thats an absolute no no! I know you need to wash the dishes and whatnot, but to do the weekly clean at the weekend seems to me a real waste of time, and doesn't give you proper days off

FlyLady basics at 15 mins a day + 1 hour a week means all chores in max 2 hrs. Am trying to get back to that (and staying away from scary people on thread here who do waaaay more than the basics in a day).

Remember all that stuff about looking after the goose that lays the golden eggs, or pick your own cliche but look after yourself (hug)

Rosa xx

Shoe_Gal

I am trying to adopt the 15 minutes a day towards chores approach and getting stuff organised at night as I am so useless in a morning and it stresses me out!

RosaBernicia

LOL it's a long time since I actually did full FlyLady but some things have stuck - I am also rubbish* with mornings so having work wardrobe ready to go really helps. I don't go as far as picking the outfit as I am liable to change my mind by morning but having several 'set' outfits speeds things up as it avoids any 'ooh I wonder how these would look together, ooops where did that half hour go' moments. I do still wash up at night as well, as I got to like coming downstairs to fresh tidy kitchen. And I think I may have turned into the Clear Plastic Box Fiend... along with my Really Useful Box collection, I bought some of these and set up on top of these they make finding make-up and jewellery very easy. And reduce dusting although that is something I actually don't mind when it involves proper ostrich feather dusters

Anyway Lula sorry for hijack but original FlyLady highly recommended

Rosa xx


*When I say rubbish, I mean to the extent that my ex used to get up and make breakfast, then hand me the coffee but put the croissant just out of reach in the hope that I'd emerge from under duvet to grab it.

Buffythedebtslayer

Shoe_Gal wrote: »

I am trying to adopt the 15 minutes a day towards chores approach and getting stuff organised at night as I am so useless in a morning and it stresses me out!

Ditto here too. I am doing that, well apparently!

My health is rubbish Lula, and although I am on the ball at work home is just a constant battle of disorganised chaos - I dont think you are that bad, but I think I have the extremes because at work we are watched and monitored in so many ways you daren't let anything slide whereas at home I can let things go, no one is looking - I look later of course and beat myself up about it but in the moment I decide to not to finish something or put it away I know I leave myself in a mess and that mess is what I am decluttering (sounds such a nice word but is really gut wrenching) now.

I need to break this pattern.

I honestly think at the bottom of all this is the fact that we do too much and set SUCH high standards. I know I don't have kids but I have two jobs,Mum, pets, studies, other studies, friends, various hobbies and I expect to be 100% motivated and organised all the time. I wait for the moment to come when everything is running perfectly. and I must realise at some point that will not happen.

I feel guilt about not doing my hobbies and about ebay music magpie and that other MSE stuff. Even sitting here now I am writing this, an e mail, on chat on Fb, watching CSI and talking to mum.

Now if I look back at my Mum's life or even my Sister's - sounds silly but 4 tv channels, one job (if that), kids in bed,one land line phone, evening was their own,

I know the modern world offers loads of opportunties and technology is amazing and I don't want to be in the past, I like my medicine and some level of equality thank you but our lives are so complicated. look at this check that, log in there, sign up to that, shop here or there, eat this, eat that, no don't eat that, bring your child this way, live here, answer this, join that, work, work some more, have this, can't pay? don't worry, go on holiday, look like this not like that, pass these exams, get this grade not that one, date him date her, have this relationship or no relationship. its all good and you can do it all. (apart from you can't)

I do think how ever much we try to live without these messages actually telling us what to do they still take up mental space and energy to fight off or deal with.

I think what I am trying to say is we all do too much and sometimes feel guilt about not getting everything done and we all underestimate how tiring it all is.

I love your ideas about narrow boats and campervans and I long for the simple life of some description, I am trying to get there.............Sorry if this is entirely irrevelant its just I relate to the tired and generally dazed and confused thing and feel that maybe I expect too much of myself. Perhaps you do to?
xxxxx

Lula-Hula

Oh you are a wise lot :T.

Karma - I agree that I do tend to spend far too much time doing chores at weekends & it sucks. I want to be out doing fun stuff & that's what I've been aiming for , but it just hasn't happened yet.

A lot of the problem has been the year long battle with DD over her room. I've not been posting about it as it bores me rigid, so it must be exceedingly tedious for you to all read about. In short, she's been an absolute nightmare as regards simple things like hanging clothes up, putting rubbish in the bin & taking plates & glasses out to the kitchen, so you can imagine how awful the rest of her space is. It's a lethal combination of sheer laziness, lack of discipline & a battle of wills.

I've been nagging that we spend weekends at home because I refuse to take her out anywhere if she cannot be bothered to keep her room in a decent state. I've spend a lot of time & money on her & was starting to feel quite resentful at how little effort she'd put in, in return.

I've refused point blank to redecorate until the room is habitable. She's nearly 12 & I feel she should be capable of maintaining it herself. The tv left her room a couple of weeks ago. I lost it on thursday & said that i was fed up with having to stay in on my days off becasue she was too lazy & selfish to sort her room out. I just cannot face coming back to the chaos, or doing a load of washing & then discovering half her wardrobe under the bed :mad:.

Her eyes glazed over & she gave me the usual " I'll do it later / tomorrow". I replied that however much she thought she was going to win this battle, she wouldn't because as long as she lives here, I will never stop complaining about it & will remove another item of hers each day until it's done & she keeps it in a reasonable state. I also mentioned something about a lack of respect towards the people who had given her things; cd's & dvds left on the floor etc.

I said that a new laptop was under threat & also that I was concerned as to how she was going to cope with organizing homework, projects etc when she starts high school if she can't even keep her living space organized. I confiscated the mobile & warned that the DS was next.

Somehow, something finally sunk in & she has cleared the entire room :j:D:j. Bags & bags of rubbish & recycling have gone out & it looks lovely. I can now envisage painting it in a weekend. Previously I'd rather have set fire to it. I hung up the new curtains for her & have returned the tv & mobile. She doesn't know I've already ordered the lappie & if her room slide back to how it was, I'll make her wait until christmas .

That is a huge weight off my mind, it was so depressing to see how little she thought of her environment. I can now keep on top of it with daily inspections & in dong so, can keep up to date with my own set of chores. I'm not too untidy, but I do leave the tiny quick jobs precisely because they are quick, so can be done 'anytime'. Read 'never get round to it' .

So, today I took the hedgetrimmer box down to the shed where it belongs & put the hedge trimmer in it.

I scrubbed my wellies which have been sat in the hall, patiently waiting for months. I did it in the bath so consequently had to clean the bathroom afterwards. I opened all the post & now have a pile of satisfaction surveys to return to landlord, the electoral roll form & the dvd that's been sat by the tv for a week to post tomorrow.

If you think I'm over reacting re DDs room, I have DD1 aka Queen of Chaos as a warning. Dear girl lurches from one day of mayhem to another. Today being a prime example;

Text received early this morning to ask if she & her BF can come over to print off their boarding passes as they're going on hol tomorrow. They'll arrive at 4. They eventually turn up at 5.30, we drink tea & chat while she sorts out boarding passes. They are planning to go out for a meal & ask if DD & I would like to join them. I don't want to put a meal on the CC as would feel obliged to pay for all so we decline. I give boarding passes to the BF to hold saying that DD1 will only lose them :rotfl:.

After they leave DD goes to have bath & I tidy away cups etc. I discover both DD1s & her BF passports on the table by the pc :eek:. I'm not at all surprised & try to call her. Can't get an answer so leave a text message, hoping she pick up before getting home. She gets home before checking her phone, it's now 10pm. I have to go out in the morning anyway to get DD some math equipment so offer to deliver it. She is grateful & laughs at herself. I just roll my eyes & make a vow to never give up nagging DD to be organized.

Buffy - I hear you & all that you say :A so true about our mother's simple lives & like you, I love the equality & other benefits of modern life, but it is a constant battle to keep up with everything.
Roll on the simple ife

Rosa - I have those type of jewellery boxes already but thank you all the same :A ... re the crossant, when at boarding school, my room mate used to do exactly the same thing for me with a coffee :rotfl:Will investigate original fly lady too, although I too get washing up done as if the kitchen's a mess first thing, the rest of the day is all wrong too.

Shoesy - I'm good with the clothes for work as I too hate the morning indecision & stress so have started getting my lunches organized, I will do my best to adopt the 15 minute chores thing. I hate that I have to spend weekends catching up .

I've had a NSD & my home is tidier & more organized than when I got up so that's good.

Off to bed now,

G'night
xx

taxi73

very thought provoking around here the last couple of days...I agree with life was simpler before all the technologyin years gone by the husband worked and the wife looked after the home/kids so had time to have a nice sparkly house etc..how is anyone meant to keep on top of everything now especially given that most people have to work regardless of whether they are single parents or couples just to keep a roof over their heads

Karmacat

Oh Lula, how brilliant about DD's turnaround! And isn't that amazing how you can feel liberated into your own little jobs-you-hadn't-attended to, when the atmosphere in the house shifts suddenly. You talked about respect to her - thats very interesting - obviously, I don't have a DD to "work on" but our own attitudes can be just as problematic ...

Had to laugh at your description of DD1 and the boarding passes, but she's very lucky she's got you

Hope today goes well.

Shoe_Gal

:j:j to DD's room! Took me until I lived on my own to realise there is no 'tidying up fairy' and I'm still not that tidy now!