13 Moons part 2 - Freebird & Frugabulous

Lula-Hula

Thanks for your kind words Karma :A.

I'm almost ashamed to post this but I'm seeking possible theories / causes really.

I've done almost nothing today, just drifted about in a bit of a daze . The only chores I've done are taking one load of washing to the line & collecting it hours later, preparing meals & washing up afterwards. Even those small tasks have made me want to sit down after

I lounged on the sofa watching a dvd lent to me by work mate & did a bit of reading of threads & diaries, but otherwise nothing.

I couldn't summon the energy to repot the herbs I bought last week, to even sweep the floors, let alone hoover or mop. I feel utterly drained & cannot think why ?

I admit that my diet hasn't been brilliant this week due to bank holiday & odd working hours & I've not had much protein since coming off that dukan diet. Could this be a reason ?

Could it be a seasonal reaction to days shortening ? Or maybe I'm just getting old :eek: It's very tiresome as I have so much to do :mad:.

At least I've not spent anything today .

I've found some lappies with good discounts & cashback deals so hope to be making a purchase very soon. I keep hovering over the checkout button but am struggling to face up to actually putting more money back on the CC.

So tired of living on a budget just to pay back stuff & yet I'm anxious about how to organise finances once it is all paid. Will probably need a new diary too, not sure if that should be on this board or not ? I'm wondering if perhaps I should take a break from MSE for a while & continue my journey elsewhere entirely ?

No wonder I cant get my energy sorted, my head's all over the place :rotfl:

Does anyone take supplements or vitamins, & if so any recommendations please ?

Need to sleep now, my eyes are not focusing at all.

G'night
xx

Buffythedebtslayer

When I feel like that I drink one of those fizzy orange tablets. Berrocca? although Sainsburys does the same thing cheaper. And sleep. Mind you, you should remember you did loads the day before and had a busy week.

I have to say I find it odd to be out of debt (which effectively you and I are) and post here, That sick feeling in my stomach most months when I relied on the CC has gone and although I use the CC much like you it gets paid off. I am saving but until recently I haven't thought about a budget let alone a plan for the future.

I think for me it is SUCH a big change, I have been in debt my entire adult life and forget how much it soaked through, colouring so much, limiting in someways and giving me experiences I wouldn't have otherwise had. Having spent the last four years worrying and becoming debt free has been amazing at both ends of the scale.

What I am trying to say in my ramblings is although I know I am debt free in my head, it is still very odd. I don't think I am quite used to it all the way through and I have done sums till the cows come home but I don't really have a clue! I expect it will work itself out at some point........but if you happen to find the answer do let me know!

xxxx

taxi73

You have to ask why you're so tired?....you have done loads the last few weeks and loads of extra homework on top...plus extra eunning around getting DDs school stuff as well as trying to work out plans and budgets..is it any wonder that you're mentally and physically drained?
There is no chill out time in there for you.

I agree with Buffy..it is good but scary when debt free and quite hard to get your head around...I've never used a CC since becoming debt free but have kept my O/D in tact for big emergencies should they arise and still can't do a budget due to not having fixed income.

taxi73

Forgot to say please don't leave MSE as for selfish reasons I'll really miss you x

solventsoon

taxi73 wrote: »

You have to ask why you're so tired?....you have done loads the last few weeks and loads of extra homework on top...plus extra eunning around getting DDs school stuff as well as trying to work out plans and budgets..is it any wonder that you're mentally and physically drained?
There is no chill out time in there for you.

Thanks taxi, I was just about to post something similar.

Lula - I was exhausted just reading your last post, never mind actually doing it all. You just never seem to stop, it's no wonder you're tired.

Take care hun and try to build in some proper relaxation time for you, not just half an hour crammed in here and there x

taxi73 wrote: »

Forgot to say please don't leave MSE as for selfish reasons I'll really miss you x

Ditto... I might not post much but I love reading your diary... and I still think you could/should take up writing x

fedupandskint

I'll miss you too if you take a break, but you do what's best for you my dear.

Vitamin wise you could try the suggested berocca or Sainsbugs own brand version which is way cheaper - they seem to perk up a lot of people at work! Or try a cheapish multi vitamin if you don't think you are getting enough and try a month or 2 as a boost.

I'm about the restart the tube of berroca substitute which has been languishing in the cupboard for ages and then do a boost with echinecea which is the same as I'm sick of seeing them in the cupboard not being used up. Not bad timing as autumn arrives and I have my first autumnal cold!

I get anxious about my debts feeling they will never be paid off, then just have to think they will at some time. Then remind myself life's too short to spend it feeling so upset and anxious.

Hope you feel better soon x

Wordsmith

Taxi is spot on. Lula, you work hard (very, very hard), you are a single mum to a daughter changing schools, you are balancing budgets, you are trying to look into the future, you are wondering whether the company you work for is going to survive - of course you are tired. And stressed, which causes all these symptoms. You could be feeling all these things for a combination of things - all the above, plus a need to tweak your diet, plus maybe coming down with flu or something. Maybe it would be worth going to your doctor to get some blood tests (anaemia?).

The odd day or two of doing nothing is perfectly all right - sometimes the batteries just have to be given a chance to be recharged.

As for MSE - what do you get out of it? If it helps - stay (limit to however much you feel comfortabe with). If you feel it drains you more - leave. Don't feel you always have to post long and entertaining posts (once a week would be sufficient ) - your diary is your place to say what you want. Some people post on their diaries once a week or once a month, just to keep a record for themselves. Or leave your diary for the time being and dip into others - just the ones you want to.

As the others have said, I would miss your posts very much - on your own diary and on others (oh yes - I stalk).

But the long and the short - you do what you have to do. Just stay well and keep happy. You are an inspiration to others, you are a great mum, you are entertaining, you have got out of and pretty much stayed out of debt - you're doing brilliantly. Please stay, but if you have to go, don't go without saying goodbye.

Lula-Hula

Morning all,

very many thanks to each & every one of your lovely posts. It seems that you all know me & my perceived weaknesses better than I know myself.

You have also validated my feeling of anxiety about DD, work, budgets, life beyond debt & ... well, just about everything really :rotfl:.

I'm a worrier; always thinking ahead as to the possible consequences of actions, always trying to plan for the worst case scenario, whilst simultaneously hoping for the best & consequently 'winging' it.

Just recently I noticed DD doing the same. It bothers me that she has that same characteristic - doesn't make for a happy & carefree life - & I try to get her to take things one step at a time, rather than fret about events way ahead in the future.

I hate that our life over the last few years have inflicted my own fears & worries on her . She's always known that we live on a budget & I try very hard to show her both the value of money itself, & also that not having much or the latest version of whatever doesn't make for a lesser person. Even with all the money in the world, I still wouldn't want her to be a spoilt brat that just had whatever she wanted because I could afford it.

I can't really leave; MSE is my social life.

There, I've said it.

I don't have a real life one as such . This is partly through circumstance & partly through choice; I purposely drifted away from a lot of people once I realised how toxic they were to my health. I recognise that with DD growing up I will either have to get some more cats or find a social life. Not quite sure how to go about it & while DD is at home, it's not an immediate problem so I push it to the bottom of my 'to do' list. The same goes for 'relationships'.

The future & all that it may bring excites me, yet I do feel [STRIKE]slightly [/STRIKE] very overwhelmed by it. I've never had a life plan; becoming a single parent at 22 was never really on my to do list, it caught me by surprise & just surviving has been the main focus for the last 20 years, with a few brief interludes of actually living life & having fun.

Whilst I'm not bothered by renting a home now, I am starting to realise the limit of the options available in the future, by not being a homeowner. It's never been an option to buy, so I've always accepted that, but only now ( too late) am I realising the benefits that having a mortagage free home could bring.

All these thoughts & musings ( never regrets though) whirl through my head & I then become gripped with inertia. Literally, I can't move.

The work situation is a vicious circle. If work-job was certain & secure, I would increase my hours & quit home-job. I keep setting deadlines for quitting, either by date e.g the end of the year, or by reward e.g having stashed away a certain amount of money. I do like work-job & the people ( no, Goblins are not people ) & my boss is actually very kind & flexible with my hours but I can't invest too much emotion in it as it could all disappear. The previous 2 companies I worked for went under & it's very depressing when they're small businesses where you're all close.

I totally get what Buffy says about being DF. I initially achieved this months ago but immediately leapt back in with the 0% custard coloured one. I've actually felt more secure & motivated since having another deadline to work to.

Being totally DF will be like being cut adrift from my main purpose. Gosh, imagine the hell of begin a lottery winner :rotfl:.

Just typing it all out on here does help get things straight in my head & I thank you all for wading through the drivel :A.

I want to start a savings diary when DF & no way am I moving over to the savings & investments board - I've been following one posters savings diary & she gets constant abuse from the smug bunch who just want to talk about how much money they can make & argue with everyone :mad:. (Where's the smack round the chops smillie ?)

My finger is often poised above the report button & I'm glad to see that MSE Towers are wholly supportive of savings diaries, but I'm also worried about posting on here & upsetting people who still have a way to go until they pay off debts. Dont' want to be seen as a smug git .

Aaaaaaanyway, I need to go & report my non achievement of August NSD target, sign up for September NSD challenge, declare myself busted out of Sealed Pot Challenge & generally get my fat bahookie ( newly discovered word, shamelessly stolen off lucielle) in gear to do the task list that follows in the next post ... :eek:

Oh, & I have ordered a lappie for DD at £419 ( after discount & inlcuding shipping) - cashback to follow & also MS office software at £39.85, no cashback but at half the usual price, who cares.

Custard Coloured Co Op Credit Card balance now £608.85

Lula-Hula

Ironing

Hoovering

Mopping

Cleaning bathroom

Cleaning kitchen

De-dusting

Cutting out templates for sewing makies

skint_spice

I'm so glad you decided to stay Lula, I didn't want to beg as I felt I wanted you to stay for entirely selfish reasons

I think too long away from here leads me into bad habits and there are lots of folk on here that are now DF so it's not like you will be out of place.