13 Moons part 2 - Freebird & Frugabulous

solventsoon

Hi Lula,
That's not a relaxing day

Just popped in to say that, after I posted on here last night, I had a look on lisawalters' thread (the cowboy builders one). Lots of posters on there are saying they're feeling down in the dumps and tired and putting it down to the end of summer (what summer?) and the shortening days. Maybe that's one of the things making you feel a bit down as well?

Take care and try to get some rest today as well. I'm really pleased you've decided to stay.

spoon xx

Karmacat

Lula - I've quoted loads from you, and a lot from Wordsmith below ... all things that really echoed with **truth** for me. When I say "lurgified" about myself, for instance, a lot of it is a slight sore throat, or a nasal feeling, but a lot of it is exactly the lack of energy you describe - and it came from a month of 12 hour plus days, when I know I simply don't have that level of energy any more.

I'll tell you what I think (and I'm mostly talking about myself, tho some of the symptoms are so similar, I think some of it you might recognise) - some of it is, sadly, about ageing; some of it is about being a worrier by nature, and a hard worker by nature too; some of it, even more sadly, is about being lonely and not having anyone to depend on; batteries being drained and not replenished; and knowing that your/my work situation isn't good enough. I also have the issues, very soon (like now) of getting a pension together, and of acknowledging that not all the things that trouble me are in the present day, that some of the trouble is from the past, which still haunts me to some degree - not anything like it did in my 20s, but still affecting me sometimes ....

As for stopping posting because you're debt free, and upsetting people who are still in debt ... well, I'm debt free! I'm even mortgage free. Nobody has said they're upset that I'm still here. And when I did think about stopping on here because of that, I had a similar outcry on my diary recently - I think this little corner of the boards is incredibly supportive. Yes, I still have a huge financial issue (my pension) to sort - but think of Hypno, for instance, or Taxi herself - both with levels of freedom financially, *and* with earnings/partner's earnings that are really quite good - but even for them, the dfw diaries are a really important place.

Like Wordsmith said, its only you that knows if its still right for you. I think if I made the trading work the way I want it to work, for example, I'd stop my diary, tho still pop in - after all, the way I want it to work I'd soon be bringing in £1,000 a week tax free, and that would feel ridiculous to be having a diary on here, tho I'd still come on for a long while, I think, because there really is a community on here.

Well. This has turned into a very long post - not even sure it will go online, its so long! Basically, you're a wonderful person, I want to read your posts about your actions and your thoughts, and I accept your need to do whats right for you. :kisses3:

Lula-Hula wrote: »

Thanks for your kind words Karma :A

I'm almost ashamed to post this but I'm seeking possible theories / causes really.

I've done almost nothing today, just drifted about in a bit of a daze . The only chores I've done are taking one load of washing to the line & collecting it hours later, preparing meals & washing up afterwards. Even those small tasks have made me want to sit down after

I lounged on the sofa watching a dvd lent to me by work mate & did a bit of reading of threads & diaries, but otherwise nothing.

I couldn't summon the energy to repot the herbs I bought last week, to even sweep the floors, let alone hoover or mop. I feel utterly drained & cannot think why ?

I admit that my diet hasn't been brilliant this week due to bank holiday & odd working hours & I've not had much protein since coming off that dukan diet. Could this be a reason ?

Could it be a seasonal reaction to days shortening ? Or maybe I'm just getting old :eek: It's very tiresome as I have so much to do :mad:.

Wordsmith wrote: »

Lula, you work hard (very, very hard), you are a single mum to a daughter changing schools, you are balancing budgets, you are trying to look into the future, you are wondering whether the company you work for is going to survive - of course you are tired. And stressed, which causes all these symptoms. You could be feeling all these things for a combination of things - all the above, plus a need to tweak your diet, plus maybe coming down with flu or something. Maybe it would be worth going to your doctor to get some blood tests (anaemia?).

The odd day or two of doing nothing is perfectly all right - sometimes the batteries just have to be given a chance to be recharged.

As for MSE - what do you get out of it? If it helps - stay (limit to however much you feel comfortabe with). If you feel it drains you more - leave. Don't feel you always have to post long and entertaining posts (once a week would be sufficient ) - your diary is your place to say what you want. Some people post on their diaries once a week or once a month, just to keep a record for themselves. Or leave your diary for the time being and dip into others - just the ones you want to.

As the others have said, I would miss your posts very much - on your own diary and on others (oh yes - I stalk).

But the long and the short - you do what you have to do. Just stay well and keep happy. You are an inspiration to others, you are a great mum, you are entertaining, you have got out of and pretty much stayed out of debt - you're doing brilliantly. Please stay, but if you have to go, don't go without saying goodbye.

Lula-Hula wrote: »

I'm a worrier; always thinking ahead as to the possible consequences of actions, always trying to plan for the worst case scenario, whilst simultaneously hoping for the best & consequently 'winging' it.

I can't really leave; MSE is my social life.

There, I've said it.

I don't have a real life one as such . This is partly through circumstance & partly through choice; I purposely drifted away from a lot of people once I realised how toxic they were to my health. I recognise that with DD growing up I will either have to get some more cats or find a social life. Not quite sure how to go about it & while DD is at home, it's not an immediate problem so I push it to the bottom of my 'to do' list. The same goes for 'relationships'.

The future & all that it may bring excites me, yet I do feel [STRIKE]slightly [/STRIKE] very overwhelmed by it.

Whilst I'm not bothered by renting a home now, I am starting to realise the limit of the options available in the future, by not being a homeowner. It's never been an option to buy, so I've always accepted that, but only now ( too late) am I realising the benefits that having a mortagage free home could bring.

All these thoughts & musings ( never regrets though) whirl through my head & I then become gripped with inertia. Literally, I can't move.

The work situation is a vicious circle. If work-job was certain & secure, I would increase my hours & quit home-job. I keep setting deadlines for quitting, either by date e.g the end of the year, or by reward e.g having stashed away a certain amount of money. I do like work-job & the people ( no, Goblins are not people ) & my boss is actually very kind & flexible with my hours but I can't invest too much emotion in it as it could all disappear. The previous 2 companies I worked for went under & it's very depressing when they're small businesses where you're all close.

I totally get what Buffy says about being DF. I initially achieved this months ago but immediately leapt back in with the 0% custard coloured one. I've actually felt more secure & motivated since having another deadline to work to.

Being totally DF will be like being cut adrift from my main purpose. Gosh, imagine the hell of begin a lottery winner :rotfl:.

Just typing it all out on here does help get things straight in my head & I thank you all for wading through the drivel :A.

I want to start a savings diary when DF & no way am I moving over to the savings & investments board - I've been following one posters savings diary & she gets constant abuse from the smug bunch who just want to talk about how much money they can make & argue with everyone :mad:. (Where's the smack round the chops smillie ?)

My finger is often poised above the report button & I'm glad to see that MSE Towers are wholly supportive of savings diaries, but I'm also worried about posting on here & upsetting people who still have a way to go until they pay off debts. Dont' want to be seen as a smug git .

boredofbeingathome

I need MSE to keep me on the straight and narrow. One of the things i have found most helpful to me, is that when i post what is on my mind, there is always someone there to help me through the 'lower' times; or to give me an opinion which can often help change my mindset. It makes me realize that it is worthwhile, that i am getting through and also having a plan for the future; or even daring to think i can have a future...i am thinking pension here and no debts and skillset to cope with anything life sends my way.

I certainly wouldn't discount having a home which you can entirely call your own..i look at the MFW board and think, i can do this i can save up enough for my 'forever' house. It motivates me no end.

Right that's me off to wonder out for a walk and enjoy the September sunshine

Shoe_Gal

Don't you dare go - I can't be the only naughty shoe freak in diary land :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

RosaBernicia

Oh Lula I would also miss you. And it doesn't bother me in the slightest if people continue to post once DF, it gives a picture of the next stage of the journey. (Plus it calms my own current minor freak-out at realising DF is actually possible in the next 18 months or so. I had no idea this would feel so scary.)

Re. being wiped out, I think you're just exhausted. And if we knew each other in real life you would hear the pot-kettle hysterics from my friends at me telling someone else they've been doing too much. But as Wordsmith and Karma said, sometimes you just need time to recharge the batteries. Sleep, good food, and bubble baths would be my recommendation. Which includes sleeping in favour of any chores that are not absolutely necessary and good food that you don't cook.

Big (hug)

Rosa xx

Wordsmith

RosaBernicia wrote: »

Sleep, good food, and bubble baths would be my recommendation.

And chocolate. You forgot chocolate.

RosaBernicia

:eek::eek: I can't believe I just did that. Apologies. No idea how that happened.

Yes, chocolate. And quite possibly Gordon, if he's still around.

Rosa xx

Lula-Hula

Wordsmith wrote: »

And chocolate. You forgot chocolate.

OMG - that's what's wrong with me, I've not had any this week .


I'm actually feeling a bit better now, although my glands were a bit tender earlier on. That's usually a warning sign for me of being run down.

I've not eaten chocolate, but I've been having far too much coffee & toast. DDs bread does not agree with me & too much coffee is also poisonous unless taken with chocolate.

I got the ironing done & swept & hoovered the floors but as it rained most of the day I didn't get outside other than to run the scraps to the compost bin.

Decided to shoot down to waitrose about 3 as I had a yearning for their delicious organic wholemeal seeded loaf. If I'm going to scoff loads of toast, then it might as well be nice stuff that does me some good. I stopped off at the cashpoint on the way & withdrew my £40 weekly allowance.

I bought some basics like potatoes, onions - hope to have my own next year - & 2 large bags of pasta for the storecupboard. Bought some organic honey which always cheers me up & the total grocery spend came to £18.26.

I had to get a couple of household items & that was £6.14 gone. Vitamins were on a 3 for 2 offer so I had a good rummage & came to the conclusion that I can't afford to be ill, run down or minerally deficient in the long terms so had best get myself sorted quickly. I bought 2 tubes of the cheap version of berocca & a box of chewy multi vits for DD as well at a cost of £5.49.

Day one & I only have £10.10p left from my weekly budget I have a lot more food than I realised stashed in the freezer so I reckon we can easily last all week. I'm not sure if I would usually count vitamins or medicines in the weekly budget & I've forgotten about cat food too which needs a stock up so might have to have a separate budget for that, or I could increase the weekly budget to £50 & incorporate that stuff as well.

Hmmmmm will mull it over :think:

My new plan is to save all leftover cash at the end of the week into a pot. Not quite sure what I'll do with it, but hopefully that will encourage me to stick to the budget.

I didn't get any other chores done so will try to get then done tomorrow morning before starting home-job. I have done a few surveys though, so hope for another payout soon .

Tired now so off to bed; will report back when there's news

Bye for now
xx

[Deleted User]

Hi hun,

Sorry to read that you've been feeling a bit bleurgh, I do agree with the others and I too think it's no wonder you've been tired, you've had a lot on your plate recently.

As for leaving DFW, please don't you keep me sane and I like your friendliness and enjoyable posts.

And for the multi-vitamins, I regularly take them and i find it does help and I notice the difference when I don't take them. I get Boots own brand or any other own brand if I find them.

(((HUGS)))

Tea xx

Karmacat

I take multibionta vits, as they have a prebiotic in them.

One thing, Lula, which you've *always* done, so it might not be relevant to you in being rundown at the moment - the timestamps on your posts are often *really* late, like this one gone midnight ... you have a normal-hours job, and a DD too, do you get enough sleep at night?