Neighbour being a pain - dad very depressed

heretolearn_2

The birds will get used to them, but some decoy birds will help in the meantime. You can buy decoy pigeons etc that are used by hunters to lure passing birds down, - they see other birds there feeding safely and want to join in.

Putting a few on the lawn will help, likewise getting the big tall bamboo shoots, sticking one right at the top, and putting it under the owl's nose (just below fence level so neighbour can't see what you've done'). They needn't be the proper decoys you get, just something fairly realistic. A fake bluetit or something hanging from the bird feeder would help as well.

catkins

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RAS

Maybe another otion is to get dad membership of the local wildlife trust and get him out watching birds on local reserves? I suspect that with a bit of time he would find other local retired bird nuts happy to tranport him for days out. And you never know there may be somewhere really good close to home.

Once she realises she is having no effect, the horror next door may decide to stop?

Kay_Peel

catkins wrote: »

I am actually thinking of reporting her to the benefit people. She doesn't work and is on benefit. Her boyfriend now appears to be living there although he usually parks his car round the corner rather than on her drive so looks like they don't want people to know. I can almost guarantee she is not going to tell the benefits people he is there.

Now normally I am not the sort of person who would report this sort of thing but I am so angry with her upsetting my parents that I am thinking of it. Mum and dad say I should although I have warned them that if it is taken further she will obviously think it is them who have reported her - they say they don't care.

This may be the real reason why the spiteful neighbours has stopped her children speaking to your parents. She's probably afraid that they may talk about the living arrangements and give away too much information. Poor kids - denied the friendship of a kindly couple in case they say too much!

it might help your parents to come to terms with their bewiderment to reassure them that they have done nothing and it's not their fault. The woman has got secrets that she wants to guard.

catfish50

catkins wrote: »

I am actually thinking of reporting her to the benefit people. She doesn't work and is on benefit. Her boyfriend now appears to be living there although he usually parks his car round the corner rather than on her drive so looks like they don't want people to know. I can almost guarantee she is not going to tell the benefits people he is there.

Is it worth it? Assuming that what you really want to accomplish is for your father to be able to feed his birds again in happiness, it's surely better to concentrate on that. Best way to cope with annoying neighbours is to have as little as possible to do with them, and avoid getting caught up in their unpleasant way of treating other people.

There's no law against putting up ugly bird ornaments. Screen them off, and give it time. The birds will surely come back as long as food is available.

Mupette

i love the idea of the decoy birds to entice them back again :T

winnie81

I feel so sorry for your father My neighboours did almost the same they attached 6/8ft poles to their 6ft fencing attached strips of red/white striped plastic ribbon/tape stuff to flap in the breeze to scare away birds :mad: All because we added 1 bird feeder in the garden for the kids (big garden not near there fence). They hate birds and hated our bird feeder so they thought these red/white strips of plastic ribbon would keep them away (ribbon would flap about 4ft into air from pole!)

We hated these contraptions and the neighbours couldn't even discuss there issues with us just put the damn things up over night. I called the planning department and environmental health ho came around and both confirmed there was nothing at all wrong with my 1 bird feeder and he was issued with an order to remove them as they didn't have planning permission for them :T:beer::T

If these ornaments are attached to the fence contact the plannig department as they can order them to remove them if they are too high

Hope your dad picks up soon and his birds return

lostinrates

catkins wrote: »

They have spoken to her ex husband. They bumped into him in the street and mentioned the problems they have had. He more or less said she is crazy and nasty. She has told loads of lies about him and why they split up.

I think tbh, this post makes me feel a little differently. Firstly NOONE knows what goes on behind closed doors. Her version of the truth might well be different to his. Mostly, I think, people either try and take all the blame wrongly, or paint them selves whiter than white...neither being an ''honest'' version really...but might be the one that keeps them going. It might be that such a prejudiced view of the situation is why she feels ''defensive''. We have no idea if the relationship breakdown was more one persons' fault than the others, or if there were other things at play.....and frankly, no one else does. If it were a reliable thing of what the neighbours thought there would be a lot less domestic abuse of all kinds in the world!

I'm trying to imagine what would happen if a poster wrote something like this on this board:

''I'm having problems with my neighbours. We used to be really friendly, they are nice older people. But when my husband and I split I felt they took his side (perhaps they said what a shame for the children etc etc) and I felt it best to drop contact with them, because it was making me feel terrible at a time I was doubting myself/that I'd done the right thing.

Anyway, now, because of this, a lot of friction has developed. I just feel its best to keep myself and the children to ourselves and in the main the neighbours seem to have accepted this.

But i do have a problem that they are keen bird watchers and they put a lot of food out for the birds. This means my washing is getting covered in bird poop and the childrens' play area too is covered in guano!''

y guess is she' get a lot of sympathy for being a single mum/getting rid and moving on and then advice on how to scare the birds away. A few people would suggest what people here have: opening lines of communication and reaching compromise


If you think she needs to be reported for benefit fraud then please do so. Independent of this not as a weapon, a threat or misguided revenge.

catkins

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Caroline73_2

catkins wrote: »

My parents did not take her ex husband's side - they have merely remained on friendly terms with him. They wanted to remain friends with her too, especially as she lives next door. Of course they don't know exactly what went on between then although they did hear the way she used to speak to him and some of the things she has said about him are definitely lies. When they were on speaking terms she would tell different stories, some of which were lies - she is obviously a liar.

Also my parents know people who know her first husband and he has said the same sort of things about her as husband number 2 so it does seem as though there is some truth in what they say.

Also her washing (she rarely puts any out) is certainly not getting covered in bird poo and the childrens' swings, slides, tractors etc etc are also not covered in bird poo. They can be seen clearly from my parents' garden. I would assume if she had paid a lot of money for all their toys (the garden looks like it belongs to a childrens nursery school) she would at least cover them up in some way when not being used if they were going to get covered in bird poo.

Not sure about your comment "If you think she needs to be reported for benefit fraud then please do so".

So do your parents talk about her to lots of people?

And as for benefits, how on earth do you know what benefits, if any, she receives?