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Eeek! Mother-in-law's here to stay
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Given that today's young are reportedly returning to the nest of mum&dad and not moving out until much older, maybe they will be more accommodating in looking after their parents when the favour needs to be returned?
I certainly will be. We stayed with my in-laws for 4 months after we moved back from London to Scotland and will be more than happy to reciprocate in future. Then again, I get on pretty well with them and they keep themselves to themselves...0 -
That's what I was about to ask - is it 'flu or similar, something as yet undiagnosed, or a long-term illness? And, if undiagnosed, has she seen GP/consultant?
Not yet diagnosed, but possibly Polymyalgia. She responded well to steroids, but the GP has decided to discontinue treatment whilst trying to work out what's wrong.
She's starting to perk up a bit, IMHO mainly because we are around to bully her into eating. Two bananas and a slice of toast so far today! Before that, she wasn't eating anything much and complained of being weak. She couldn't see the connection.No reliance should be placed on the above! Absolutely none, do you hear?0 -
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I sympathise as my mother came to stay for 6 months whilst she finalised moving abroad and stayed 26 mnths - managing to fit in 3 christmases!!! Whenever the deadline to go got close there was a reason to stay 3 more months - which was announced to me rather than requested which was my biggest issue.
The best way is to set ground rules and ensure you and MRS GDB2222 agree on them.
Never should a deadline be extended by one person, it should be discussed as a minimum of 3 (you, mrs, mil) and/or as a family if needed.
I agree with previous posters that getting a personal alarm encase MIL falls or is ill will be worry off everyones mind and about going to stay at her bungalow when she moves back.
Also this should be a shared family event, going and having meals with her or taking her out for the day or having her over for a sunday roast will give her events to look forward to. Does MIL have friends that could you could drop her over to during the days?
My uncle lives in warden accommodation and loves it, always social events going on and there is a large seating area where they can meet up or have guests to.0 -
As we grin and bear looking after babies so we could with looking after elderly. Mind, there are people dropping their babies into social care as it was too much for them ...
Wish you for the experience to be least husstle possible whichever way it goes and maximum enjoyment, people here given good adviceThe word "dilemma" comes from Greek where "di" means two and "lemma" means premise. Refers usually to difficult choice between two undesirable options.
Often people seem to use this word mistakenly where "quandary" would fit better.0 -
She's always been fiercely indpendent up to now. Her social circle is quite small and getting smaller. She might take one of those alarm thingies now, but I doubt it. I have suggested it in the past. Likewise, I have suggested carrying her mobile phone around with her.No reliance should be placed on the above! Absolutely none, do you hear?0
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She might take one of those alarm thingies now, but I doubt it. I have suggested it in the past. Likewise, I have suggested carrying her mobile phone around with her.
Rather than just suggesting, it might be a good idea to look at holders that enable her to carry her phone with her at all time. She probably needs both hands to be free to walk round. Would a belt or over the shoulder holder help her keep it with her?If you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing0 -
plan for the longhaul...your wife will have..It is nice to see the value of your house going up'' Why ?
Unless you are planning to sell up and not live anywhere, I can;t see the advantage.
If you are planning to upsize the new house will cost more.
If you are planning to downsize your new house will cost more than it should
If you are trying to buy your first house its almost impossible.0 -
She might take one of those alarm thingies now, but I doubt it. I have suggested it in the past. Likewise, I have suggested carrying her mobile phone around with her.
My mother is incredibly old and still living alone (with quite a bit of support from moi). However, without the alarm around the neck thingy she would not be.
We spin-doctored it by telling her it enabled her to continue living independently.0 -
I sympathise as my mother came to stay for 6 months whilst she finalised moving abroad and stayed 26 mnths - managing to fit in 3 christmases!!! Whenever the deadline to go got close there was a reason to stay 3 more months - which was announced to me rather than requested which was my biggest issue.
The best way is to set ground rules and ensure you and MRS GDB2222 agree on them.
Never should a deadline be extended by one person, it should be discussed as a minimum of 3 (you, mrs, mil) and/or as a family if needed.
I agree with previous posters that getting a personal alarm encase MIL falls or is ill will be worry off everyones mind and about going to stay at her bungalow when she moves back.
Also this should be a shared family event, going and having meals with her or taking her out for the day or having her over for a sunday roast will give her events to look forward to. Does MIL have friends that could you could drop her over to during the days?
My uncle lives in warden accommodation and loves it, always social events going on and there is a large seating area where they can meet up or have guests to.
I'd definitely second the above, consensus is the way to go, rather than having a 3-way "us and them" situation.0
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