Eeek! Mother-in-law's here to stay

GDB2222

Mother-in-law is 87, and she's been really rather poorly recently. So, my wife decided that she should come and live with us for a while until she's better. She's installed in the TV room downstairs as I write this.

Any advice on how to make sure that she moves back to her own home within a reasonable period? We've agreed to set a 2 week limit on this, but I can't see what to do if she's still not well by then. Well, I can, but it's not something I'm keen on.

What's reasonable in all the circumstances?

wearside_2

Say some prayers:rotfl:

originalmiscellany

Have a plan, e.g. after 3 weeks, you'll suggest sheltered accommodation as you're not able to look after her to a suitable level. My family went through something similar and it was very messy. Is she of sound mind? If you MIL is, then talk to her - if not do you need to get "power of attorney" to help her with the challenges she's facing?

gratefulforhelp_2

Yep, I would pray.

epsilondraconis

I'd pray a lot - just to be on the safe side.

milliebear00001

Are you able to look after her should she need longer term care? What does your MIL want as an ideal?

VfM4meplse

I don't think you'll have much of a choice here, it sounds like Mrs GDB is the decision-maker in your family! Life will be more pleasant if you can be as supportive as you can.

GDB2222

milliebear00001 wrote: »

Are you able to look after her should she need longer term care? What does your MIL want as an ideal?

MIL has her own bungalow, and she wants to get better and go back there. Look, we can nurse her okay for a couple of weeks if this is just an acute illness, and I'm pleased to do that as she was a great help to us when the kids were small. I just don't want this to become a long-term arrangement.

She's reasonably compos mentis, and I've been pressing my wife to get her to do an enduring power of attorney. Maybe, this time, they'll actually deal with it. I got all the forms, and so on.

oddies

hi gbbd222, it's not easy under any circumstances if you can look after them and you and your wife are of strong character then do so but if not then i would talk it over with all your family. if your mil has other children than share then responsiblity. i had FIL came to stay for one night after his wife died and was here till his death 10 months down the line. everything fell onto me as O/H was doing up the FIL house to sell ( as that was his wish ) i was in ill health myself and he sure did not make it easy but we got by till he fell and broke his hip, after that he went downhill with me having to do everything and i mean everything. almost gave me a nervous breakdown after he died as when your looking after someone and it's so intense when they go it's like you have lost apart of yourself and although we did not get on i still miss him, to this day i swear he came and touched me/ tapped me on the hip as he always did when he wanted to get by you after he died :A i hope this helps a little x x

BitterAndTwisted

You and your OH didn't offer any emotional support to someone going through a divorce? I wouldn't treat a stranger in the street like that. No wonder you didn't speak for three years. I don't think I'd have spoken to you and your OH ever again. And cut you out of the will for good measure.

Families? Eh

gratefulforhelp_2

Its a difficult one this. Power of attorney is a good idea. My (late) MIL had her FIL to live with her until he died, and he was a terrible bully and horrible to DH and my FIL, to the point where I think it has really affected DH long term.