Living life, loving life.......hypno's having a ball!

gallygirl

I'm glad you had a good night Hypno . Perhaps it was because it was something different that you were ok with it? Could your friends agree to do something different on a Friday night - bowling or something, in a very different environment? Still go out, but you have the choice? Could you challenge the others to come up with something different? Maybe a comedy night or something - they does those at Carrow Rd don't they?

Miracle of miracles, I was out last night, a 50th birthday party, the last of our bunch - we're all in our 6th decade now :eek:. I really enjoyed it, I met up with others I hadn't seen for years (including someone I had a massive crush on for years. Not any more - what's that football chant involving pies? Well, now I know the answer - him & his brother ). At the end of the night I looked round - and those who looked the happiest (apart from the birthday girl who was quite merry :rotfl:) were those like myself who weren't out every Friday and Saturday. The ones who are out every week looked pretty bored and miserable tbh.

I know you have a lot of 'stuff' you are going through at the moment - but could part of the 'Friday night syndrome' be, regardless of self esteem & all the other issues, that those sorts of night outs are just not for you anyway?

hypno06

To be fair, I have made it sound as though every friday night takes the same format, but it doesn't. The "girls" probably meet once or twice a month, and we do other stuff too - have been to gigs, out for meals without going on anywhere afterwards, even went to see that flippin play in French earlier in the year

Sometimes it is just carrying the evening on with the guys from work...a couple of drinks at 5.30 leading to "shall we get something to eat", moving to "shall we try that new place....." etc etc etc.

I think it has just perhaps "become" something in my current crappy state - As I mentioned, this state of the blahs has not just been about social stuff, there is much going on there but perhaps this element of it was one that is easy to pour out the emotion compared with some of the other areas? Still all work in progress!

Buffy, I hope the cinema was good and that the champagne bar tonight exceeds your expectations x

MrsMoo - I don't spend so much time at the ski club now - the kids don't need me there to keep an eye on them now at the age they are, and their Friday night and Saturday morning training falls to their Dad to do. I will be a ski mum tomorrow as I take DS to race in Brentwood, so still do my bit (largely my bit involves paying the money.......) but it is not the social element of my life that it used to be, and in many ways I don't miss it in the way that I thought I might. Perhaps I have just spent soooo much time up there over the past 11 years that I don't have anything else to give it. I have some good friends from there though that I see from time to time without having to set foot at the club, so that is fine.

Today is starting with coffee and Rugby.....then I will go and do Zumba mid morning, and a bit of a lazy afternoon before going out for dinner with my mum and the children. It is DS's birthday on Monday and as we will both be out at the football that night, this will be his birthday meal.

macgirl

hypno06 wrote: »

I look around, the self esteem thing kicks in, I feel inadequate, I feel very much *on my own* and I make a quick exit for the nearest cab rank, and by the time I get home I am an absolute wreck.

I am getting teary just writing this - it really is a big issue for me, and one I have to crack, otherwise my one night of being able to do what I want to do, becomes anything but.

I know that all I need to do is say "no". Part of me wants to do that......and to go and curl up under the blanket on the sofa never to appear again. Part of me wants to live life, and meet people and have fun.

Morning, I welled up reading this too Hugs to you xx

It sounds like there are a few voids in your life now, not needing to go to the ski club, no responsibilities on a Friday, as well as the obvious and all that space leaves time to think, assess and analyze.

It's ok to like your own company and not give into what you "should" be doing - "Having Fun" through a rictus grin.
You sound so down (and empty) - which is ok too while your brain sorts everything out - but perhaps it would be good to speak to someone who is neutral rather than a friend? Glad an MSE'er have given good advice, so hope that helps.
I feel really sad for you and wish I could make it all ok, but I know you WILL get through this and the fog will clear in time x

lucielle

I wish I had some of the wise words people on here say. Hope you enjoy the reat of your weekend.
L

hypno06

Thanks mac - Down and empty is a very apt description. But I am determined to beat it....life is too short. It needs to be done in the right way, though, rather than the possible knee jerk reaction that could just end up making everything even worse later on if that makes sense!

Lucielle - you do have wise words. Have you not read your own diary recently!!

Just had a long phone chat with P too.....always good to catch up.

Zumba has been cancelled because the instructor has food poisoning.....that means I need to get myself to the gym before it gets busy.

Onwards x

macgirl

Rather than be so purposeful and determined, maybe just give in to it for a while, go with the flow and do what your body needs.
Then you might find it lifts sooner rather than later. Take care and be kind yourself x

Lucielle, you asked the question that made Hypno explain things - that's important too!

macgirl

Oooh, just seen your donation on my Just Giving page! Thank you very much :kisses3:

I've raised loads for MND which is amazing :T
I also have lots of donations in cash and cheques from my relatives who don't trust sending money via the internet, so put a 20 quid note in an envelope and stick it through the post instead :rotfl:

Did you see my time? 2.12!!! A whole 11 minutes faster than last year! All the way round I kept telling myself I was never doing it again, so might aswell push myself. Then of course, like childbirth the pain was forgotten in a nanosecond and replaced with a runner's high and I heard myself saying "Oh yes, I'll run it for you again next year!" Doh :wall:

gilligansyle

Morning hypno

Hope your day goes OK, you've reminded me that I do miss my zumba. It's hard to get to a regular class at the moment, but I did enjoy it.

Take it easy.

MrsMoo2U

Makes sense about the skiing. I just wondered if that was something else you missed. I know that you love to ski yourself so will that still be planned into your holiday calendar? I hope so.

Zumba sounds like lots of fun. There are no classes around here so no chance of joining one. Hope you DS has a lovely birthday weekend and enjoys his first birthday meal with the Ladies although I presume football will be more up his street

hypno06

macgirl wrote: »

Oooh, just seen your donation on my Just Giving page! Thank you very much :kisses3:

You are very welcome - well done on such a fantastic time! Who knows....maybe I will run it with you next year

gilligansyle wrote: »

Morning hypno

Hope your day goes OK, you've reminded me that I do miss my zumba. It's hard to get to a regular class at the moment, but I did enjoy it.

Take it easy.

This struck a chord with me. I used to do Salsa many years ago with OH. He didn't really enjoy it but came along to humour me, and to check I didn't run off with any lean limbed guys at the end of the night. But anyway, I loved it.....and then when my Dad died I stopped going - not for any practical reason, but simply because I felt I shouldn't be doing anything fun.

Of course I always intended going back and never did. That was over 6 years ago!

I know that you are disrupted with work taking you here there and everywhere, but do try and find that zumba class gill - don't stop doing the things you enjoy. Especially now.

Have been to the gym, and loved it. Definitely is right for me to be doing it at this time. Then went to the supermarket and did a biggish shop - my cupboards no longer look like Old Mother Hubbard lives here.