Living life, loving life.......hypno's having a ball!

Helen105

hypno06 wrote: »

Ooh, KM you snuck on there while I was typing.

Thank you - although I do wonder sometimes whether I am trying *too* hard! Someone close to me earlier in the week told me that I was going at 100 miles an hour, when in fact 25 mph would have been far more appropriate. He was, of course, right......:o

Going at 100 miles an hour suits you though. I think the problem at the moment is that you are lacking a challenge. You threw yourself into the money challenge and the get the kids skiing challenge, the cope with being single challenge, the running challenges and clothing challenges and now that you are doing okay you don't know where to go next.

At work we did something called the balanced scorecard where we judged performance on 4 areas, financial, sales, employees (H & S and attendance) and I can't remember the last,and it is quite useful to adapt it to your life so you might have financial, fitness and appearance, social, children, house and garden, personal development (learning or developing a new skill etc). Write down how you would like all those areas to develop and then you will feel you have something to move towards, it may be that the areas conflict sometimes, the obvious one is the cost of a new hobby will detract from financial well being but this is about seeing how to get your life in balance.

Apologies by the way for leaping in with unasked for advice when I haven't spoken in about 6 months.

BEAT_THE_DEBT

I think we are the type of people to be more self aware and prob our own worst enemy! x I am sure you look lovely when you go out x

hypno06

Helen105 wrote: »

Apologies by the way for leaping in with unasked for advice when I haven't spoken in about 6 months.

Never apologise - and no advice is unasked for on this type of forum! The very fact that I have posted about my mood is implying that I am open to responses I guess!

The 100mph thing in this case really was a complete distortion of all sorts of things. I really did need to slow down my thinking a bit. - a bit like taking 2 and 2 and making 57. Whilst my "full on" approach has done me well in many things, sometimes I *do* need to back off a bit. For my own sanity and for the sanity of those around me

BEAT_THE_DEBT wrote: »

I think we are the type of people to be more self aware and prob our own worst enemy! x I am sure you look lovely when you go out x

Yes, am def my own worst enemy. This week really has shown me that! I think there are a lot of us on here that particular description can apply to!!

Tescodealqueen

hypno06 wrote: »

Slept better last night - having got a couple of things sorted in my head during the course of the evening, which makes a big difference. Still much to do but am hoping I have turned a corner with being able to deal with it, so thank you (again) for the help and support that you guys have given me over the last week or so. MSE is about so much more than money, and that is invaluable.

So, today I am heading to the gym for a good hour or so, and DD and I are using a BOGOF cinema voucher to go and see "one day" later this afternoon which will be nice, as we never go to the cinema together.

Have a good sunday x

Glad you feeling a bit better Hypno. And the rugby was a bit better this morning so perhaps that helped.

Hope you enjoy the film - I usually read crime fiction but have just finished the One Day book - late to the party as usual - and loved it.

hypno06

I've not read the book, so have nothing to base an opinion of the film on. It is DD's choice of film, so am sure it will be good, for that reason if no other!

Def a better show in the rugby this morning.....still much to do, but certainly better than last week's efforts!!!

Tescodealqueen

I love Brian ODriscoll so if only we could take a leaf out of Ireland's book. Awesome match yesterday.

ZTD

hypno06 wrote: »

The social thing is an interesting one - sometimes heading out with my group of single girlfriends, is absolutely the best tonic, and as you can see from my photos on fb, I love them to bits and we have such fun. But sometimes it makes me feel, I don't know, inadequate in some way.

What is 'it'? Them? The enjoyment? The gossip?

hypno06 wrote: »

Sometimes my Friday nights end up with me looking around me at all the other "40-ish women let out on a Friday" and I find myself thinking "is that what I look like?", and all of a sudden I am not enjoying it anymore.

Why? Are you feeling like a woman let loose on a friday, or are you seeing women let loose and projecting that upon yourself?

hypno06 wrote: »

That is a really crappy feeling, and generally results in me grabbing the nearest cab home and escaping......only to be hit by the reality that it *is* what I am doing. It *is* what I look like, surely, because I am there.....?

Why surely? Why do you think it what you're doing? Is it not all in the intent? If someone is there to get blindly drunk, end up in A&E and projectile vomit like Linda Blair - does that mean that's what you're there for? You are present in the same room after all...

hypno06 wrote: »

I don't *think* I look like those desperado's.....I don't show as much flesh for starters, and in some ways I think they must have far more confidence than I do, which is something that I am jealous of, but of course I don't know who is judging me in the same way I am judging them, and also they may be far from confident, and also going home at the end of the night to sob!

Woah, slow down a bit! Just remember my thoughts plod, rather than race...

Are they desperados? All of them? Why do you think they're desperate? Are you projecting their desperation onto yourself and think you must look like you think they do?

What difference does it make to you how much confidence *they* have?

Why do you go home to sob? What would have stopped that?

hypno06 wrote: »

Am rambling on now :rotfl:

No you're not.

BEAT_THE_DEBT wrote: »

I think we are the type of people to be more self aware and prob our own worst enemy! x I am sure you look lovely when you go out x

I've said it before, but it bears repeating. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect

hypno06

Very valid points, Z.....but because they all relate to my own insecurities, I won't be posting the answers on here. But I promise I will do so on paper for my own thought and action in the course of the day.

And thank you for the link - have speed read through it, but need to do so at a slower pace later.

ZTD

hypno06 wrote: »

Very valid points, Z.....but because they all relate to my own insecurities, I won't be posting the answers on here.

The answers are for you, not for me.

But as I said before, you probably need to mull things over with a confidant. Someone who will challenge you when you say "I am <negative attribute here>."

:grouphug:

Triciaxx

When Helen mentioned the balanced score card, I remembered The Wheel of Life. I've found it useful at times when I felt things were getting away from me and didn't quite know why.

The main thing to remember is that we all (or everyone I know well enough to discuss such things) go through these periods and the only difference between what you see as a confident person and one who appears not confident is their acting skills.

I also think you should consider what Helen said about challenges. I went through a stage like yours about a year after my first marriage ended and I came out of it when I started taking in kids who were too old for childrens homes and providing a half way house for them.

Then it happened again when I retired and i had nearly a years pity party before I took on something new.

All points to ponder - preferably when you are doing something physical, like running.

Anyway, have a (())