Living life, loving life.......hypno's having a ball!

MrsMoo2U

Nothing to add to what others have said. You will get there though. Hope you enjoy the film.

hypno06

Thank you again - I have plenty to think about, have started putting pieces together, and will continue to do so over the coming days. Some deep soul searching required and honesty with myself....but I do feel, today, that I can do it. I've not cried today, that is a big start.

I thought the film was really good - like I say, I've not read the book and didn't even read the blurb so could go into the film without expectations. DD and I both enjoyed it - perfect Sunday afternoon watching really, and lovely to spend time with DD.

They gave me another BOGOF voucher to use during this week.....and as there are lots of films we both currently want to see, we may well do something after work one evening.

Karmacat

Just catching up, Hypno. I'm glad you enjoyed the film - glad you haven't cried today either .... and the wheel of life that Tricia links to is a good tool. Lovely link from Z, about the Effect - didn't know that information had been formalised in that way, its a good'un.

Hope you have a nice calm evening.

Triciaxx

hypno06 wrote: »

They gave me another BOGOF voucher to use during this week.....and as there are lots of films we both currently want to see, we may well do something after work one evening.

I'm not sure how old your DD is but it's good to see a sharing of 'want to see' rather than a "I'll take DD to the cinema". That sounds very healthy for your relationship. That move from mother/kid to two adults (one of whom has more experience) is not an easy one - at least I didn't find it easy. I did better with DD2 than DD1.

You are doing fine, however you may feel.

beanielou

Sorry I have nothing to add.

hypno06

Triciaxx wrote: »

I'm not sure how old your DD is but it's good to see a sharing of 'want to see' rather than a "I'll take DD to the cinema". That sounds very healthy for your relationship. That move from mother/kid to two adults (one of whom has more experience) is not an easy one - at least I didn't find it easy. I did better with DD2 than DD1.

You are doing fine, however you may feel.

She is 17. And an amazing daughter. I am very lucky

beanielou wrote: »

Sorry I have nothing to add.

No need to feel you should add anything, beanie. There are plenty of times I feel that I can't add anything to other peoples diaries even though they are going through tough times. Sometimes it is because I genuinely don't *get* what they are going through because I don't have that experience. Sometimes it is just because I am being selfish and putting my own needs first. And sometimes it is just because the great and the good of the board have already covered everything that I would have said anyway!

This evening will be one of Sunday night tv, and dinner. I have a very improvised oriental type turkey dish cooking in the oven which will get served eventually with some chilli noodles. I am very hungry, so am hoping it turns out well....which some "throw em all in" things do.....and some just don't!!!

Souk08

Hypno, just wondering if you are like me personality wise and a 'doer' and if you're feeling you dont have much that desperately needs 'doing' at the moment IYSWIM. Your confession about the Friday night stuff, well Im guessing you weren't exactly out raving when you were desperately tring to debt bust and I know you married young so maybe its just that it's newish for you and not what you expected to be doing at this time in your life so it still takes you aback. You 'knew' what your future held, and now it doesn't which must be strange but speaking as a happily single gal your NEW future can contain anything YOU want it to...it sometimes just takes a while to know what that is! Maybe you feel a bit weird being out with friends as it's not what you feel you SHOULD be doing, or what society wants you to be doing but you're smart enough to know that its your life to do what you want with. Personally I have no desire to be a frumpy 40 something when the time comes and nor need you be one. Hugs and hope at least some of this makes sense! XXX

hypno06

It makes absolutely perfect sense - and yes......it is very true.

And I was frumpy all through my 30s. (and probably my 20s as I was either pregnant or carrying baby weight).....not just because of the debt, but because the truth was I was unhappy.

I certainly haven't spent more than the occasional day being frumpy since I turned 40, and I don't intend becoming my mother just yet either

x

beanielou

Just as a wee aside I have lost 1 3/4 stone but I dont feel any better about myself at all.
Where is that confused smiley when you need it!

hypno06

beanielou wrote: »

Just as a wee aside I have lost 1 3/4 stone but I dont feel any better about myself at all.
Where is that confused smiley when you need it!

Firstly, well done on the weight loss beanie - that is a significant amount, and the physical health benefits will be there even if the emotional ones aren't yet there.

I have lost weight a million times in my life - done every diet going - and there have been times when I have been losing that weight that I have felt a tiny bit better about myself.....but it never lasted long. My underlying insecurities, and other issues hadn't gone, so no matter what the scales said, my head told me some very different things, and as such I was neither motivated enough to stick on the diet long term, nor comfortable enough in myself to simply maintain a balance.

it was only after OH left, that this particular element of my life shifted focus easily. That bit of negativity had gone and my head didn't need to battle with it. As a result, the weight fell off easily (as it does with many following a break up) but a year later, it is still off, and I don't need to make any effort to do anything about it - because my conscious and subconscious are working together at last on this, and so the whole food/exercise thing happens automatically. OK, so sometimes I eat more, sometimes I exercise less, but compared with the pure yo yo dieting of the past 25 years, this is a mahooooosive improvement.

As part of that process, I did have to address a lot of weight related issues. They were very painful.....but it has absolutely done the trick.

I'm not saying that you are going to yo-yo, beanie, more that it was just one element of my "who am I" journey that I went through that has had the desired effect, and that hasn't reverted. I no longer look at myself as "fat". In fact, I did a zumba class on Saturday in a dance studio which has full wall mirrors and actually looked at myself thinking "not bad"......for me, that was once impossible!!

Am always happy to chat on fb if you need beanie x