The Giving up/ Cutting down Alcohol support thread- number 10

May2013

Hellooo shaggy – good to *see* you again…hope you’re enjoying your holidays!! Thank you for updating the ‘scores on the doors’

Welcome Blond Ambition :hello: – as you rightly say, this is a great place to come for support and encouragement, particularly in the early days of breaking this routine (habit) that we’ve all slipped into. Good luck on your journey x

Graemecarter has posted some thought provoking comments on here today. I’ve taken the approach to cut down rather than give up but have had to do it gradually (not really sure why :think:). I'm now at a point four months in where I can happily not drink Sunday to Thursday and allow myself an indulgence at the weekend. But having read Graeme's posts and had a think it’s clear that I’m not really in control at all. I don’t always want a drink at the weekend but have one anyway because I know I won’t be ‘allowed’ one in the week….on the flip side, there are social occasions at work when I would like a glass of wine with dinner but won’t just because it’s a week day. I think for me it’s all about routine….if I keep to a plan I won’t slip and fall off the wagon

I’ve never had a problem whereby I drink too much in public, I was very much a secret drinker, drinking myself to sleep every night when everyone had gone to bed and couldn’t see how much I was pouring down my throat.

I've never felt better than I do now…I never want to go back to being the sluggish bloated person that I was before but I do want to know that I can be in control without the need for a timetable…..I clearly still have a way to go.

Sorry I’m not sure where all that came from…but I feel better for it

RuthnJasper

Blonde_Ambition wrote: »

Heath480. That's inspirational. Was it a support thing for alcoholics or families?

RnJ, well done you. How long since you and the ex split up? Life's not totally sh*t, but there's always some around. But what a massive step forward you've taken this week. There's lots of things I want to change but we can only do it one step at a time.

BA - not long enough... I just can't help myself!

heath480

Yes BA a camping convention for Recovering Alcoholics their friends and families.

bearacus

Morning all,

Welcome Blonde ambition :wave:Good luck on your journey x
Shaggy - Hope your enjoying your time off and thanks for updating x

AF for me last night please Shaggy x

Off to a hotel tonight for dinner and drinks and staying over. Im going with the intention of drinking soft drinks and hoping to report an AF tommorow. This will be my biggest test I think:eek:. I really dont want to drink but Past behaviour tells me that all too often I get caught up in the moment.

Hope everyone has a lovely Sunday and SNC is running this week (probably wont be updated till late as going shopping on Monday)

yellowmonkey

Morning all

Sorry went a bit AWOL again there.

Can I say Hello to all Old and new as I have not done that yet but I have had a bit of a busy time of it lately

My Stepdad has recently been Diagnosed with cancer of the Oesophagus (Sp?) and started his Chemo last week. He is only 63 and has been my stepdad for 38 years and it has come as a bit of a shock.

I have been AF all week so 5 please Shaggy. Went out last night and only had 3 pints and feel like crap this morning. Used to drink 10/12 cans a night so god nows why I feel sluggish

Anyway must get on and I wish you all a Happy Sunday. I have work later so got that to look forward to

mackeroo

Welcome Blonde Ambition :wave: and sorry to hear news about your stepdad Yellow Monkey. News like that always comes as a big shock :grouphug:

Wasnt Af yesterday at friends BBQ but i kept an eye on what i was drinking. We were there from 5 to 11.30pm and i drank a bottle of wine and 2 wee vodkas, it could have been alot worse. Slightly fuzzy head this morning but not too bad.

Off on hols next week, wee sis and family coming to stay for the week so busy today doing last min preparations. We hosting a BBQ tomorrow and after attending yesterdays one ive decided that we dont have enough food :eek: so another trip to supermarket today is needed.
Wont join next weeks SNC Bearacus as dont think will have many AF days next week but i'll be back on the wagon the following week. Good luck with trying to remain AF tonite x

AnnieG

Hello
I'm back from my hols, which were lovely but as far as being AF goes - what my son would call an 'epic fail'
I managed to stay AF on one day out of the 5. It was my birthday on the Tuesday so went out for dinner and had quite a lot of wine. then on the Wednesday, there was no excuse but my mum asked me if I wanted a drink and the next I knew I was plastered. The next day DS said to me - you're not drinking today, we shook on it. I couldn't actually remember shaking on it with him, couldn't remember the end of the evening, or even eating dinner tbh. I didn't drink that day, but the following day I had 3 glasses of wine, then yesterday I met friends for a picnic and they offered me a glass of wine, and I caved in without giving a second thought.
So, I won't meet my target of 31 days in August. I've managed 9 so far, and am back to work tomorrow so this week's taken care of - I never drink during the week anyway.

Looking forward now though and determined not to get to that 'can't remember what happened' stage again.

Oh, and YM, so sorry to hear about your step dad, my best wishes to you.

Blonde_Ambition

Morning all. Thanks for the lovely welcome.

YM, best wishes to you, your stepdad and all your family.

AnnieG, I read your story completely understanding how these things happen. It's so easy to get carried away. May I ask, are you trying to be totally AF or just cutting down? I'm just wondering because, in my situation, I'm wondering what to tell people and how many people to ask for support. Also, if I stop drinking, I'm pretty sure a few people won't believe I'm not pregnant! No, people, I just don't want to get drunk.

Have a good day everyone. I'll be AF today as I'm working. Day off tomorrow. Uh-oh!

maman

:wave:

Sorry to hear your news YM, fingers crossed the treatment is successful. Well done on your AF days. It's easy to forget how tolerance is lowered when you stop drinking daily.

Have a good week mackeroo. I don't really try to be AF on holidays, just keep within sensible limits so that I don't spoil the next day by feeling hungover or do anything I'd regret (assuming I remembered).

BlondeAmbition, it's never going to be easy to get some friends on board. Most of us have groups of friends with very similar lifestyles so they sometimes see it as a personal attack if you want to change your ways. Pregnancy is an extreme excuse!:eek: Others used are antibiotics or driving or wanting to save a bit of cash or cut down on calories. It's really a case of whether you just want to say 'I know I'm drinking well over my units so I'm giving up/cutting down for a while' or use one of the other reasons. It is hard to start with but if you're determined friends will get used to it after a while. Good luck!

Hope you enjoy your stay/shopping Bearacus. I'm signing myself up for the full monty on the SNC, catch up with you when you're back.

graemecarter

AnnieG wrote: »

Hello
I'm back from my hols, which were lovely but as far as being AF goes - what my son would call an 'epic fail'
I managed to stay AF on one day out of the 5. It was my birthday on the Tuesday so went out for dinner and had quite a lot of wine. then on the Wednesday, there was no excuse but my mum asked me if I wanted a drink and the next I knew I was plastered. The next day DS said to me - you're not drinking today, we shook on it. I couldn't actually remember shaking on it with him, couldn't remember the end of the evening, or even eating dinner tbh. I didn't drink that day, but the following day I had 3 glasses of wine, then yesterday I met friends for a picnic and they offered me a glass of wine, and I caved in without giving a second thought.
So, I won't meet my target of 31 days in August. I've managed 9 so far, and am back to work tomorrow so this week's taken care of - I never drink during the week anyway.

Looking forward now though and determined not to get to that 'can't remember what happened' stage again.

Oh, and YM, so sorry to hear about your step dad, my best wishes to you.

That pretty much sums up my drinking.
I cannot drink safely at all, and am powerless over alcohol.
Powerless to say no, and powerless once I put alcohol in my body.

I didn't always get smashed each time I had a drink, and often didn't, but that fact that I would sometimes get smashed is me being powerless.

I'd often set myself targets about not drinking, and (if they were longer than a week) not make them.
My non-alcoholic friends change their drinking to suit their targets (such as running a marathon), but I'd change my targets to suit my drinking.

All I need to do is not drink today. If I get to bed and I haven't hurt anyone by my drinking or my desire to have a drink, then that's a good sober day.