The Giving up/ Cutting down Alcohol support thread- number 10

kdenty

Hello Messedupandfedup things never stay bad for long. They just can't so it will get better *hugs*

You obviously care or you wouldn't make a profile and post. It took me 3 years to post about my debt/worries after joining the forum! Coz I'm an idiot who didnt realise what invaluable help I could get here.

Could you tell your husband how bad you feel? It might help him forgive you.

MessedUpAndFedUp

Having a few problems at home. Hubby works long hours and is away a lot and yesterday I think I ranted about it to anyone who would listen at a family do .... Hence he's not talking to me and I feel lower than a rattlesnakes belly, not to mention dog tired and poopy. He was in a mood anyway because of something else, so I didn't start drinking til late so he couldn't accuse me of being drunk. That soon went out of the window though.

So I've decided that I need to stop drinking - cutting down obviously isn't going to work for me and I don't want to wreck everything I've got, if I haven't already. I'm lucky that I don't have to work and can stay home with my little girl, we have a lovely house and now I'm feeling like an ungrateful cow because the long hours give us a good life. I really love my husband and just hope he can forgive me.

kdenty

19 days AF I think! I put the point when I decided to go alcohol free on a tracking app on my Phone and can't decide if the x hours count as next day! Lol!

I had a slight wobble last night. I saw an advert for a new Rose wine in a magazine on Friday and thought it looked nice. Aaargh- social influences/advertising strongly gets to me! and I'm not a big drinker as such (never really drink on school nights and normally just have a bottle of wine at weekend). But I don't like who I become when I drink. It brings my problems to the forefront and I turn into a nasty person. Especially to my other half who doesn't drink at all.

Last night I manage co-op and just came home with chocolate (White chocolate craving) and tictacs - no wine- yeay .

I'm not sure if I should join school night challenge? Is it much of a challenge if you don't drink on a school night anyway?

I want an alcohol free month so can my target be Target 30 please for June

Wanna_Bee_Free

Morning all,

Messedupandfedup just wanted to say I know how you feel. I have certainly made a fool of myself with my OH over the last few weeks from drinking too much and being maudlin and needy. I just wanted to say that it will be ok and that things always look their worst when I'm suffering the hangover and lack of a good night's sleep the morning after. Hope you feel less fragile soon and I suggest that you concentrate on your physical needs ahead of everything else right now, water and food and if poss more sleep will help your body. Plus my OH always needs some time away from me if we've argued so try to understand your OH may need that time a bit away to think before he comes back. I don't need that myself and like you can be needy but I try to be patient, especially when it's my fault!

Things will get better.

WBF

kdenty

@ Chlois

Hope your DD is feeling better today. 30 is a brilliant target
You just inspired me to go for the same. Read your post and thought "yep thats the attitude, stuff alcohol it's not needed" Giving up chocolate however!!!

MessedUpAndFedUp

Thanks WBF (if I can call you that, seeing as we've just met!).

I know a lot of what I'm feeling is the post-booze blues, but this is the first time he's ever told me he's not talking to me. I feel so awful and just want him to give me a hug and tell me it'll be ok. He's off on business tomorrow so it's going to be a poopy time. I'm already on antidepressants and just started counselling.

I feel like I never want to see his family again after yesterday, I've sent a text apologising to his mum but no response yet, which is making me feel 10 times worse. I've got a pain in my back, which I think might have been caused by a fall, but I don't remember and I'm too scared to ask, not that he's talking to me anyway.

I've had a cuppa, no chance of any more sleep though - he was going to get up with our daughter this morning but she had a hissy fit and complained so he stropped off back to bed

Wanna_Bee_Free

MessedUpAndFedUp wrote: »

Having a few problems at home. Hubby works long hours and is away a lot I really love my husband and just hope he can forgive me.

Our post crossed and I know how the him working away row feels too. Good luck with your June target.

I'm back on here as I need support to cut out the booze. Since I disappeared I started a new job, with long hours and a long journey. OH is working away and we alternate him coming home or me going to him each weekend. Didn't see each other last weekend and he is working today and tomorrow. I am struggling with eating healthily as I turn to pizza and takeaways rather than cooking for myself and my good habit of walking a few miles a day in London has been replaced by time sitting in the car. I've been worrying about work and not sleeping, waking up in the night etc even when I haven't drunk too much and generally feel really overwhelmed with it all at the moment. My turning point was Wednesday evening when I woke in the night feeling ill and I'm sure that it's from the lack of sleep, less exercise and eating unhealthy food. My Mum told me it was really important to cut out the booze and I know she's right and I had good intentions but thought I'd have the glass and a half that was left the next evening and then a couple (a lot less than I'd normally have) on the journey on Friday and then far too much wine yesterday from lunchtime onwards. So here I am, back here to you guys and knowing I need to cut out booze and wondering why it didn't happen any of the last 3 days. Time to rethink what I'm doing as it isn't working.

Logically I know that the first 3 months in a new job are always tricky and it should get easier. And OH is being understanding but I have been really hard work at him for quite a lot of May. I want June to be different.

Wanna_Bee_Free

MessedUpAndFedUp wrote: »

Thanks WBF (if I can call you that, seeing as we've just met!).

I know a lot of what I'm feeling is the post-booze blues, but this is the first time he's ever told me he's not talking to me. I feel so awful and just want him to give me a hug and tell me it'll be ok. He's off on business tomorrow so it's going to be a poopy time. I'm already on antidepressants and just started counselling.

I feel like I never want to see his family again after yesterday, I've sent a text apologising to his mum but no response yet, which is making me feel 10 times worse. I've got a pain in my back, which I think might have been caused by a fall, but I don't remember and I'm too scared to ask, not that he's talking to me anyway.

I've had a cuppa, no chance of any more sleep though - he was going to get up with our daughter this morning but she had a hissy fit and complained so he stropped off back to bed

I'll answer to anything, and can see another person feeling low today. OK so from what you've said you'll just have to be patient. And it's not unreasonable for his Mum not even to be awake yet this time on a Sunday so be patient. I hate that oww I hurt, how did I damage myself last night feeling. Any chance of a quick soak in a warm bath? I think you need to withdraw from him and his family and let them come to you rather than go to them. If this is the first time he's said he's not speaking to you then it's obvious that he's more upset than he has been before but you can't rush things. Be patient. I doubt he'll be able to leave tomorrow without talking to you so you just need to wait a bit. It's even earlier there than it is here in Brussels anyway and if it was a big event all of them are likely to be sleeping late. Why did your daugher have a hissy fit this morning?

MessedUpAndFedUp

Thanks WBF I know I need to be patient, but I'm sure you know how I feel. I just want everything to be alright instantly, but if the boot were on the other foot (and believe me, it has been), I would be just as angry with him.

Daughter had a hissy fit because she's tired, no nap and a late night yesterday, and she's got a splinter in her hand so we've had a battle to try and get that out, with no success. So she didn't want to get up with daddy. It makes me feel even worse as she sees less of him than I do, and it breaks my heart that she relies on me so much and I'm such a state. It makes me feel sad for him as well, because now the two most important people in his life have !!!!ed him off today. It must hurt to be rejected like that.

Worse thing is, it was a kiddies party that descended into chaos - his family do's usually do. His mum doesn't drink and was driving yesterday so I'm sure she'll be up, so I'm really biting the bullet to not phone her.

I can't believe I've been so stupid again. Writing on this forum is upsetting me but I've got to talk to someone. I could go round my parents house, but I'm too scared, they know I drink too much and about our problems, but for pity's sake I'm should be able to deal with this on my own, and I don't want to upset them, or hubby (he'll think I'm telling tales).

Oh good grief, why do I get myself into this state?

Wanna_Bee_Free

MessedUpAndFedUp wrote: »

Thanks WBF I know I need to be patient, but I'm sure you know how I feel. ...
Oh good grief, why do I get myself into this state?

Why do I do this to myself is a question I have been asking this morning too. I for one am here and happy to 'talk' if it helps. I think when the blues from the booze hits it can be hard to deal alone. I am thinking about going to get some fresh air this morning. Is that an option there too? A walk often makes me feel better. What about your daughter, is she sleeping? Do you remember how the party descended into chaos? Were there any trigger events for you in all this? Is there a time you think you shouldn't contact them all before so you can decide to just put it down for a few hours and relax?

For me yesterday it was OH opening some wine with lunch and instead of staying strong I joined in. Then drank a bit over a bottle spaced out but still not what I wanted to be doing. I am going to put some healthy steps in, feeling stiff and think daylight will help.
Back in a bit.