Single mum .....i WILL survive!!!!

*Twizzle*

Hi :wave:

Don’t really know where to start! Last night (Saturday) I was sat feeling very lonely and very sorry for myself!!! I need a kick up the backside! A couple of events in the last week have made me realise that I have got to get myself and my life in order.

I have been a member of MSE for a few years (new year new name) but more of a lurker than anything…..so I know more or less know the ins and outs of MSEing! I had my LB moment about 3 years ago and am now on a DMP with Payplan. My problem is I ‘lose my way’:o so I have decided a diary is the way to go…..then anybody that cares to can give me that virtual @ss kicking!!!

To cut it short ….I had breast cancer scare, went to diagnostic clinic and got the all clear…this in its self frightened the life out of me, I could think of nothing else for 2 weeks while I waited for my appointment, in between praying that everything would be ok I vowed I would sort my life out, save money like I have never saved before (which i haven't ) and STOP SMOKING!

Then…. BAH!!!! Just when I thought life was good, (which it is to a degree ... I have my health) the car conked out the day after! :mad: I need my car to get to work so it has been repaired but has wiped me out financially …I am struggling to get to the end of the month! I will just cover my outgoings and the car tax IF I don’t smoke! This evening I will scurry on over to the Stop Smoking thread and sign up! Tomorrow is Stop Smoking Day.

A bit about me ~ I am 44 and became a single mum of 2, DS ~9 and DD~8 in august last year my choice after too many years of unhappiness. We have moved back to my hometown, its only a couple of miles away from their dad so they see him every weekend they and speak to him every night. I work for my brother 16 hours a week. We have a dog who is as bonkers as we are! I try not to use the car too much - Sunday to Wednesday it stays on the drive I do not have a dryer:D Most of the light bulbs in the house are energy saving, can't get the bulb out in the hall need to speak to daddy about that I use to be really good at home baking and batch cooking so i am trying to get back into a routine with this

There we are short but sweet!

My goals so far are to;

Stop Smoking
Organise my days better - I have 4 full days off a week so why is my house such a mess?
Save - either to keep current car on road or a new (to me) one
Save - emergency fund
More home baking/cooking - I used to do this all the time
Veggie patch - this is at mum and dads as they have a super duper large garden!
Pay xSiL - 20/700
Speak to xOH about nightly phone call
Speak to xOH about maintenance
[STRIKE]
Phone Talktalk :mad:
[/STRIKE]
Camping Holiday


Its not a huge list but I have no doubt I will add to it later x

Thanks for listening.... Spike x

Buffythedebtslayer

Looks like an excellent start, just wanted to say welcome to the boards!

have a good week

xxx

*Twizzle*

Thanks Buffy its the keeping motivated tha the problem :rotfl:

Its a beautiful day in the West Riding of Yorkshire :T

Washing is on the line, kids at school, windows open just got to crack on with the dreaded housework :eek: I'm going to tackle downstairs today it looks like a tornado has hit :mad:

I callled at the c00p on the way home .... not for cancer stix tho :T got some chewing gum to keep my mouth occupied I'm very pleased with myself...long may it continue - got a fuzzy head now and my eyes are aching, very strange will work through it though

Need to add to my 'goals' list;

pay back xSiL - she lent me the money for 1 months rent and admin fees so MUST start paying her back, we have agreed on a weekly amount, i am ashamed to say this month its gone flying out of the window


stop speaking to xoh every night - before i left we said we would remain friends for the sake of the children unfortunately the children pass me the phone when they have finished speaking to him - somehow i have to explain to them that i don't need to speak to their dad every night and also tell him!

maintenance - at the moment he is not giving me any :mad: partly my own fault because i told him not to worry as he is on a very low wage ..... but then i sneaked a look in his fridge and what did i find BEER :mad: well if he can afford to by that on his low wage he can start paying his way!!!

Talktalk - joined talktalk when i moved and they gave me a £30 discount to be paid on my 2nd or 3rd bill.......have the paid it ...NO :mad: suprise suprise they have no record of it on their system, unfortunately for them i have my 'welcome pack' which clearly states this i have faxed them a copy as the proof is there in black and white just need to phone them and see if they have recieved it!

I must remember to sign up for April GC when it starts, i usually shop at sainsbugs but as funds are so low i did this weeks shop at L!dl (no temptation to over spend :rotfl:) total bill £19.65:T Need to do similar or lower next week

Sausage, mash, peas and gravy for tea....will do some onions to put in mash for me and DD, DS doesn't like them.

Must crack on loads to do x
Enjoy your day (if anyone has read my ramblings :rotfl:)

Spike x

LAM2011

Hi Spike - welcome back. As you know this is the best place to be lurking I cant believe how friendly all the people are here in this section and supportive too.

Good luck in your mission to sorting your life out. You have been through such a lot already I am sure you will get on top of your list.

knithappens

will be subscribing to your thread, I dont post as much on the boards anymore as i blog and find it hard to Keep up between the 2 but i like to follow memeber in a simlar situation to me, good luck with your debt free journey

Sublime_2

Hi Spike. I can empathise with your situation, and current goals. I am lucky, as I've got a nice home, in a good location, and have some good friends (although don't see them much now due to move), but there are a few small things I'd like to achieve.

My kids drew on my new carpet in many hues of felt tip pen, so I have spent most of the morning again on my knees with a bottle of squirty stain remover trying to clean it. They have also done their picasso impressions, on my not long decorated walls.

Had enough, so have binned most of their art stuff, until they can learn to behave, and also in the process of bagging up loads of old toys, ready to be dumped/given to charity/sold on ebay. I'm going to get a mimi skip soon, to dump all the old furniture/vacuum cleaner/electrical equpiment I've got stored in my lean to.

As to speaking with your ex. Its been over a year for me, and its gone from him ringing me 1/2 dozen times a day , to barely speaking. I didn't like him phoning me all the time, as always felt he was there checking up on me (he was ), but now he's not speaking, I don't like it. Can't win! :rotfl:

We do get on because of the children, also I need his support in taking them off my hands sometimes, as I need "me" time. He pays maintenance, so am ok financially, but I need to set a longer term goal, as it was never my intention to have kids in the first place. I plan to do a refresher college course, and also to start saving. I'm currently doing the sealed pot challenge on this forum, which is fun.

I've nothing major debtwise, apart from a couple of cards, which I aim to clear.

I'd like to subscribe to this thread, as I've come so far in a year, but am currently in danger of back-sliding. Got to keep moving forward, and not look back at the past!

*Twizzle*

Evening :hello:
LAM2011....i love MSE i try to tell as many folk as possible about it....you never know what goes on behind closed doors some people can be very good at putting up a front My bedtime reading has been DFW diaries and i can't believe how nice everyone is and loads of support :T

Knithappens ...thanks

Sublime :eek: to the carpet...they are pesky little critters sometimes :rotfl:mine were sent to bed early after nearly coming to blows over doing a 'show' for me (they love to sing and dance for me) i am really pleased with myself ...i didn't go running to the local shop for a packet of cigs :T Although i would kill for one right now so will keep tapping away til the feeling passes
do you have a freecycle you advertise stuff on before skipping it ....another mans treasure and all that!!!!!!
I only speak to him to keep the kids happy, but its like he isn't going to let go and he has to be one of the most miserable people i know he drives me potty and all he talks about is work so nothing has changed from when i lived with him :rotfl:i have a feeling when i bring the subject up he will stop speaking to me altogether!!!!!!

TALKTALK - success, well it will be when i see the money in my account :cool: Strange .... as soon as i mentioned i had faxed them a copy of my welcome pack their whole attitude changed and they put me through to a different department who offered to reduce my next 3 bills by £10 :mad: EEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR NO i don't think so, 'madam this is all the system allows us to do' so i said 'i want the full amount asap, i am sure in this day and age there is something on your computer system that allows you to do this' she disappeared and came back 'madam the money will be in your account in the next24/48 hours' THANK YOU :T

Got all of downstairs cleared and cleaned
Picked dd up from school then went back for ds when he had finished his art club.
Got kids, bikes and dog and went for our walk/cycle up to the local running track and field

I'm all done in now so an early night i think.....well after i've sorted my fair on FB :rotfl:

Thanks for replies x

Spike x

BAILEYS6904

Hey Sweetie

Well done you!!! It always seems as when things start going well, summat comes up n bites you on your a*s lol.

However on a practical point, have you tried Champix for helping with giving up smoking??? Its AMAZING!!! My dad has given up, by using it (smoked approx 40 a day for 50 years), my step mum, and I'm on a week no smoking now.

I take the little tablets (it does knock you a queasy for about an hour after taking them), you take them for 10-14 days whilst still smoking, or less, and you literally dont WANT a cigarette anymore, just the thought really doesnt appeal, its wierd.
I have them and the inhalater thing (just for the hand habit), and its not hurting at all. Its all available on prescription as well, which helps. They do say that if you have a history of depression, you need to be careful with champix, but to be honest, Ive not noticed mood swings or anything like that.

Just one to bear in mind

HTH xx

*Twizzle*

:wave: WOW!!!!! Another beautiful day in West Yorkshire :T yet again the windows have been flung open Washing he bedding ... i love the smell when its been hung out ...can wait to go to bed

Tackling upstairs today 3 bedrooms and bathroom...yet again there is wee all over the loo :eek: and DS still denies its him :rotfl:But darling you are the only man in the house :rotfl:

:wave: Bailey, congrats :T 1 week is fab keep it up x
Are the champix the ones in a blue tube type thing? I'm using an inhalter at the mo last time i stopped i did ok with it...obviously not well enough cos i started again or maybe that was just circumstances? As i'm very happy now it feels 'easier' if you get my drift!!!!

I don' know why i'm suprised when things bite me on the a*s it happens so often i ought to giv it a name :rotfl:hence the saving thing, it can bite me as much as it likes cos i'll be ready for it and may even bite it back :cool:

Hope everyone has a fab day enjoy the sunshine while it lasts

Spike x

Sublime_2

Morning Spike. Its lovely and Sunny here too. Its so liberating to be able to wear skirts, and dresses, again, with bare legs.

Thanks for the inspiration. I'm going to be washing down the living room walls, and spraying the carpet again today. Also got to tidy the kids rooms. Hopefully will have time to sort out unwanted clothes/etc later, or make a start anyway.

*Twizzle*

Phew!!!! upstairs done :j
Car is on the drive with all the windows open and the interior has been drowned in odour destroyer type stuff.....i will get rid of the smell of smoke

Just having lunch, ham and cheese sandwich and a cup a soup - on offer 2 for a £1..... i will not be buying these again batchelors cup a soup contain more adatives than i have ever seen before :eek: In future i shall stick to home-made!!!!

Off to tackle the shed now ...i need to cut the grass but can't get to the lawn mower plus there are still 2 boxes i haven't unpacked yet....i am hoping to find the burger press i bought before i left ...

Wish me luck if i don't post tonight do not hesitate....phone the fire brigade ...ppllllleeeeeeeaaassee :rotfl::T:j

Spike x