Can anyone help us stop our daughter being bullied

MrsE_2

kippers wrote: »

Also when her mother came round to yell at us we did 'log' it with the police to cover ourselves if something else happened.

Any chance you could bully the mother or Janes father could bully the bullies father?

You don't even have to touch her, just act like you will & scare the crap out of her.

Blobby8_2

pimento wrote: »

My son was bullied until he lamped the kid who was doing it. Funnily enough, it stopped after that.

Disgraceful !! Retaliation is not the way.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3qnMuag41s


However in many cases it does work.

MrsE_2

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Phone the police next time she heaves her scraggy carcasse onto you property and tell them she's making threats to kill. Then press charges, approach a solicitor to get whatever an injunction is called these days. A few hours in a police cell, being fingerprinted, interviewed and her details being forwarded on to Social Services should make her more annoyed with her brat for getting her into trouble.


And notify the board of governors that a parent is threatening you for reporting her child is bullying yours, so this could well end up in the local papers as you fully intend to have her prosecuted - and will obviously have to provide details of the school's failure to protect your daughter and yourself to the court.

You may find that a little more action is taken.

I like your thinking:)

Mojisola

It sounds as if the school know you are the nicer family and are the easier target to go for. You might raise your voice and get upset - they may think the other mother would get violent.

The whole thing is a disgrace. You really need to get one of the anti-bullying organisations in your corner.

meritaten

kippers hun,
First - do NOT agree to a meeting with bullymum and bully! your instinct is correct here, besides which this woman threatened you! there is NO reason for you to have any contact with this person - in fact the further away you stay from her the better - and I am sure the police would give the same advice.
The head is handling this just like the head of my sons school - its like they have a script to follow!
have you found the schools bullying policy yet or had a copy? you also need to see the LEAs complaints procedure.
Do NOTHING until you have read and understood these! the week your daughter is away will give you chance to do this!
I would also contact a couple of anti-bullying charities - or look for advice on thier websites on your next step. Personally, I wouldnt have any more meetings - the head has had two years to sort this out and is failing miserably.
NOW is the time to put in that complaint to the governors . write a long letter detailing everything and put on top in large red letters COMPLAINT ABOUT *HEADS NAME* keep a copy and give them 14 days to respond. tell them after that time you are taking legal advice.
Address it to the chair of the governors their Name and contact details SHOULD be on the schools website, if not the school secretary should know - but dont hand it in to school! send it to the governors home address. it will get lost otherwise!

then see what happens!
but please cheer up kippers, all is not lost!
merit

blue_monkey_2

kippers, are you or your hubby in a union? Do you have legal help on your home insurance? Now is the time to be using it.

I'd also be considering seeing a solicitor - you should get a first half an hour free, but if it costs £500 to get some letters sent to get this girl to leave your DD alone then it will be worth it. If you can go for an injunction against the mother turning up on your doorstep then this may stop her getting into the school too.

Might also be worth calling the Childrens Legal Centre: http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/

This leaflet gives you everything you need to know http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/Resources/CLC/Documents/PDF%20A-M/Copy%20of%20bulling%20leaflet.pdf have a good read of the leaflet and then consider calling a solicitor first and see if he can send the letters.

Any amount it costs is worth it for the peace of mind IMO.

Note this from P13 of that document:
Your child him or herself may also sue a teacher, school or LEA
for negligence. The application will normally be made in the
name of your child, but brought on behalf of your child by a
‘litigation friend’, usually you as his or her parent. Most children
will qualify for Community Legal Services funding. Without it,
such actions can be extremely costly.

Keep us informed on how it is going. Get a coffee and sit and have a look over this document, it's time to raise your game sweetheart. No-one minds if you come here to have a vent. It is incredibly frustrating when you think you are winning to get a kick in the face that puts you back at the bottom of the ladder.

blue_monkey_2

Oh, and if she comes to your house again, call the police.

If your daughter comes home with a single mark on her, call the police and have the child charged with common assult.

meritaten

hi kippers - hope you are feeling a better today?

very good advice by blue_monkey - I would certainly be taking legal advice, but please give the school governers a chance to put things right. this is the correct procedure in our LEA and is probably so in yours.

I can understand how upset you are considering your own connections with the school, but as they cannot ban you from the playground, keep walking your daughter in - ask the school to point the security camera (I am sure there should be one) on the path you take, so that you can have filmed evidence you neither speak to, nor intimidate this other child in any way - put that in writing!
let us know how it goes this week - but please try not to get so upset - your daughter must be aware that you are trying your best but the school are not helping matters. and as long as your daughter knows you are on HER side and not the schools - she will feel more secure!
I am nearly always online in the evenings hun if you want to PM me - even if its to vent or cry on my shoulder - I have been where you are and know how upset, frustrated, angry and defeated you can feel - all at the same time!

scooby088

I cannot agree that retaliating is wrong, i took about 6 months of verbal and physical bullying before i stood up for myself, i have learnt bullies will always be bullies and the weak will always be weak if they never stand up to their tormentors, going in all limp wristed and turn the other cheek does get it slapped.

Sometimes teachers are oblivious to the situation and are really weak or not very effective at dealing with the situation. i have always said i will stand up against bullies. Today the teachers are a lot better at dealing with bullying, but still ineffective at truly dealing with it.

blue_monkey_2

Sometimes the Govoners do not help the situation.

I would also consider going back to the police and reporting her now for harrassment. If you have already reported her once then it should not be too hard to do. She is telling people at the school you are what....? Looking at her child and trying to get you banned from the playground? Go and speak to the police officer you did before as you might be able to get them involved and she will realise the seriousness of it all.

Good luck.