small steps and a fresh start......my journey starts here

MiaowMiaow

So this is my first diary entry having recently joined the forum.

A bit about myself -

I got myself into debt around the age of 20 and it has just spiralled out of control - for almost 10 years (i'm now 29) I kept my debt a secret - I was ashamed and embarassed.

I just want to sort it now but finding it difficult - I have been off work with depression , partly due to my money but more so personal problems. I am also dealing with very low self esteem and am in a vicious circle where i feel down and cheer myself up by buying a treat but then feel guilty and more down. And so it goes on........

It has helped talking to my parents and they have been great but I really just need to give more energy to getting rid of the debt - I only seem to be giving 50% as it stresses me out so much.

LInked in with my debt, depression and low self esteem is my weight issue. Due to the debt I have been comfort eating and piled on the pounds from a healthy and active size 10 to a size 14/almost 16 and this isnt helping.

I have already posted my SOA but in summary my debt is as follows:
I have my mortgage (joint with my brother) £136,000.
tudent Loan £10,000 (Payments come out of my wages approx £100/mth)

HSBC Loan £5513.42 (paying £150/mth and this total debt includes the interest)
HSBC OD £2455.70 (struggling to get rid of this so going to use m&s credit card for day to day spending whilst its 0% and then pay it off)
Lloyds TSB OD £504.15
M&S CC £1779.95 (0% interest on purchases until October 2011)
HALIFAX CC £5139.63 (5.6% for life of balance)


On a positive note I am starting back at work this week - part time at first as I wouldnt be able to cope with full time but really pleased to be going back.

I've joined a couple of challenges as an incentive and am spending a lot of time on the forum - everyone is so inspirational.

Thanks to the replies to my SOA and I look forward to chatting with everyone and beating my debt :-)

Its free listing on ebay this weekend so hopefully I will get some more items listed tomorrow :-)

xx:):):)

hillside777

Hi,

I wish you well with your challenge.
I have just joined the forum and will be starting my thread shortly. I think I owe about the same amount as you and it's very concerning.

I know we can both do it and need to be committed and disciplined.
I hope you make some good sales on ebay. I am also listing as much as possible as I need to clear out items we no longer require and others we purchased for a business which is how we mainly got into debt.

I just be following your thread. Thanks for posting as this has inspired me to get on with clearing my debt after a number of years.

MiaowMiaow

Hi Bonnington, thanks for your reply. It is very difficult but everyone on the sight is supportive, together we can do it! I will help anyway I can x

MiaowMiaow

A bit more about myself ...........................

Firstly, thankyou to all taking the time to read my diary, any comments/advice/critisicm gratefully received.

So this diary is to help me on a daily basis and I appologise in advance for boring anyone!

So as I have mentioned I am back to work next week where I will soon be full time. I don't want to discuss what I do but it is long hours, very demanding and difficult at times. My basic wage is about £1550/mth with the opportunity of overtime.

I have a few close friends who now know a little of my problems, one also has a debt, albeit small in comparison to mine. I think my friends dont realise the extent of my debt and the stress it causes - I find myself always trying to keep up with everyone and not wanting to turn down social events.

I recently came out of a relationship which has been tough going but it was necessary so am single once more - the story of my life seems to be one unsuccessful relationship after another!

I am now 29 (30 this year - cripes!!)and own a house with my brother where we both live, luckily we get along well and he has been very supportive whilst i have been off work. Unfortunately my brother was made redundant before xmas and now has a part time job which means i am contributing more to the household bills.

I also have 2 cats who I couldnt live without - it is true that pets can be theraputic - they always know when I am feeling down.

I am trying to diet and lose some weight which is a struggle but I just keep thinking small steps.

I've joined Bzz but no campaigns yet and I emailed Tesco about the product testing - they emailed back and will be sending a full application April time. Also need to list more ebay stuff.

I have got rid of sky TV but still need the internet, I've switched energy suppliers and house insurance which has saved some money. :money:

not sure what to do with the mortgage which is currently on a variable rate - we were going to sell but changed our minds now as we cant afford to make a loss:(

Apprehensive about work on Monday but also looking forward to it

xx

MiaowMiaow

slept in today which is not good but putting it down to the bad head I have - apparently it might be a viral headache or a side effect of antidepressants but had it nearly 2 weeks now :-(

I joined lots of survey sites last night and did my first survey just now - 40p!

checked ebay and have sold some items which is great. I have some more ending today and a few tomorrow.

Really quite aprehensive about going back to work tomorrow but just going to sort out my work clothes and get organised.
x

LittleBoots

Hello Miaow :wave:

Welcome to diary land! We have a few things in common I think, I'm lucky inthat I have now managed to pay off the bulk of my debt. I'm also trying to lose weight too, or should I say just be generally healthier. I went from a size 14/16 to size 12 (sometime a 10 in New Look:D) a few years ago and have had that last stone to lose ever since!

Cant really comment on the antiDs, my mood can go really low sometimes but I've never done anything about it really.

Good luck with work tomorrow and good luck with your debt busting journey!

LB xxx

keggie

Hi Miaow,

I've just started my diary today and am looking forward to following yours.

I think the hardest bit, once you've had a LBM, is being patient and having stamina. I have bouts of enthusiasm but when nothing seems to be happening, usually near the end of the month, I lapse and undo so much of my good work!

MiaowMiaow

Hi LittleBoots

Thanks for your message - and good luck with the rest of your debt too, well done for paying off so much. Do you have a diary on here?

I think I need to take the 'healthy' approach too - really struggling with my weight, comfort eating has become a way of life for me so I just need to break the pattern and exercise also.

Ive suffered on/off with depression since I was 19 yrs, with 3 major bouts, the second started september 2009 when I was so low I wanted to kill myself but I got through it (it was a combination of personal problems including the debt), the last bout started October 2010 and caused me to be off work but back tomorrow! This again was a combination of problems, a lot to do with getting out of a bad relationship.

My advice to anyone feeling low is to ask for help, there is no shame in it. If I hadnt of asked for help then I dread to think what might have happened.

but my depression is under controlnow and I certainly feel better :-) also trying to be positive about clearing my debt,

I will have a look for your diary, thanks
xx

MiaowMiaow

Hi Keggie
thanks for your reply
I can completely relate to that! I will do so well for so long and then its as if i give up and just think it doesnt matter when it DOES!!
I will look out for your diary
thanks
xx

BEAT_THE_DEBT

good luck for tom, i have/am off to with depression i am currently weaning off tabs. By 11am it will be like u have never been away. I struggle with weight to. My advice re life is to be a bit selfish.xx

MiaowMiaow

Thanks BEAT THE DEBT, funnily enough my counsellor told me I need to be more selfish! too busy putting everyone else first.
thanks for the good luck
x