Diplomat has a Package for Me!

Errata

cajef wrote: »

What is with the name change, 'Diplomat Richard' suddenly became 'Diplomat Wilfred', I wonder if he knows who he really is.

Or where

Lip_Stick

Ask him for a silly photo to prove he's not giving you the run around. Wearing the sign you suggested would be a good one.

Freddie_Snowbits

Buhher he was supposed to have gone to Luton airport

Paul_Varjak

Hello Richard and Wilfred

I tried to get on the flight for JFK but the emigration authorities say that I am an 'undesirable alien', so I cannot fly to the USA. In fact they have now banned me from entering the USA for 10 years!

That is a bitter blow to me as I was intending emmigrating to the USA in August and had planned my future life there, with my American fiancee. We had bought a sizeable property in the heart of Manhattan. My dreams are now shattered.

But, more importantly, I had given up my work in the UK, that means I now have no job but an apartment in New York with a massive mortgage. So, I really do need that $750,000 to pay the mortgage and to bribe the immigration officials.

But you would have to come to the UK. Are you able to delay your flight to Bangkok and treat this matter as very urgent? I can give you a UK address to come to.

Please note that my real name is not Paul Varjak - it is really Denis Thatcher and I was permanent secretary to Princess Margaret, but I did not like being labelled an 'everlasting typist', that is a real insult to a true Englishman, hence my decision to marry a nudist ladyboy from the USA.

Let me know when you land in the UK and how much the tag fee will be for the UK and where I should send the money. I could deliver it to the Benin High Commission in London, if you wish.

By the way, I do have passports in the names of Paul Varjak and Denis Thatcher. Do you need to see these as proof of identity?

My fiancee will be flying out to the UK on the next available flight, so you may even be on the same plane as her! I have attached a picture of her on the nudist beach but she will be clothed on the flight of course! To me, she is very beautiful and precious but I would trade her for $750,000 if she was to your liking. I am sure she would attend to your every need on the flight.

Denis Thatcher

heretolearn_2

that's one big old pile of Ferrero Rocher he's holding for you.

pendulum

Seemed pretty genuine to me, think you've just talked yourself out of 750k

unholyangel

Diplomat has a Package for Me!

And here i thought it was going to be a sex joke.

Shame on me

Bloomin_Freezing2

How funny! I was actually contacted by Pm on this site from a 'lady' who was so in love with me, wanting to come to the uk. I kept the banter going between us for as long as possible. It was very amusing. Who the heck do they think they are, i'm sure whoever it was emailing me was sat in some shack somewhere in nigeria. To think, there are some poor fools who fall for these tricks. Glad they stumbled upon you and you knew their game!

donnap83

Haha!! Gave me a good giggle!!:rotfl:

kymbogs

Any update from Richard/Wilfred? I hope he's OK...