How would you respond to this email, Brothers wedding invite?

Gigglepig

I don't think there is anything strange in this at all, to me it looks just like a perfectly nice email from someone who is asking for your mail address so they can send you a wedding invite.

Plenty of people do not invite children to weddings or parties, not necessarily because they don't like kids, but they may have financial and/or space limitations...

Their wedding is their big day, and should be just they way they like it.

Sarah_1984

Don't think there's a problem - it's their wedding so it's their call on the adults only thing. Try not to take it personally.

POPPYOSCAR

mrcow wrote: »

So is the wedding at the other end of the country? On Christmas eve? If so, then you can't go.

Personally, I'd just leave it for now. Wait until you speak to your brother in person and send a formal excuse after you'd told him why you can't go.

Don't reply to the email.

Why doesn't your own brother know your address? Or are they just being weird?!

They have probably sent the same email to everybody.

claretmatt

My guess is that because they don't have any children they don't want any at their wedding?

I don't think there is a sinister message, but the delivery of the message was perhaps a bit tactless and maybe they should have spoke to you in the first instance, ultimately so that you don't have the doubts that you now do.

I personally think that it is there choice to have an aduly only wedding, however it is also your choice as to whether you go or not for the following:-

a) we come as a unit so we all go or no-one goes.
b) We can't possibly get a baby sitter at that time of year
c) the distance and leaving the kids at home (with sitter) is too much to ask.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Underlying message?

That they are unencumbered by offspring, as are their friends, and they don't want small children at their wedding. But they want you and your OH.

It's a good attempt at being tactful.

Nelski

Is it me or is it odd/sad that your brother doesn't know your address (cross posted Mr Cow )

Anyway I see nothing wrong with it and personally it would probably be my choice too - if you don't approve don't go - a polite its too near to christmas to be away from the family would do I am sure

lucylucky

No-one seems to see any underlying message which is good.

I would just reply as you see fit.

POPPYOSCAR

Nelski wrote: »

Is it me or is it odd/sad that your brother doesn't know your address (cross posted Mr Cow )

Anyway I see nothing wrong with it and personally it would probably be my choice too - if you don't approve don't go - a polite its too near to christmas to be away from the family would do I am sure

It may well be that the same email was just sent to all family and friends and that they do have their particular address already.

twi1ight

I think they're trying to give plenty of warning about no kids because it's so close to Christmas. I know someone who got married on that same date a few years ago and didn't want to have children there. It caused a few rifts because some didnt want to leave their kids so close to Christmas. I'd say they are trying to be open about it and give you plenty of time to plan and decide if you can go. I'm sure it's nothing personal.

elvis86

No offence, OP, but you sound like just the kind of person I dread interracting with!:(

The issue RE them not knowing your address aside (this is completely weird to me, but the older I get the more I'm learning that familes can be very different!), this sounds like an email in which someone has really tried very hard to be tactful and nice about conveying their wishes for their wedding (to which they are entirely entitled).

I imagine she was probably worried to death that someone with kids might take offence, and despite her best efforts it seems that you have.:cool:

As others have said, if you're offended that much by all means politely decline making some excuse about it being Christmas etc. But to be fair, how often will your brother get married? They made the effort to attend your wedding, I'd be very hurt if I was him and you didn't make the effort to attend mine.

I assume that they had to travel to attend your wedding? This would've no doubt disrupted their usual routine, but they did it. Just because you have kids, doesn't mean you're entitled automatically expect everyone else to consider them or accept your using them as an excuse as to why you're not willing to put yourself out.

I'm not anti-kids at all (I was one, once!;)), but it sounds to me like the OP and OH have completely over-reacted.