How would you respond to this email, Brothers wedding invite?

Nicki

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Just out of interest do you have kids?

I have kids and would do this if I really couldn't find anyone to have them with 8 months notice. OP's kids are 6 and 10. They would be absolutely fine with a day out near the wedding with their dad, and pizza and a movie in a hotel room with mum and dad taking turns to babysit. Had OP really wanted to go to the wedding, she would have found a way.

Any

poet123 wrote: »

And that is very understandable, even 30 years ago we had too many cousins to invite all their children to the meal. However, I couldn't have imagined excluding nieces and nephews because people wouldn't understand why their chidren had not been invited....it isnt rocket science and most people would know that.

You might not, but others are not as understanding...

From this thread we have noticed how many people believe that their children should be considered more then bride&groom's wishes, finances or feelings and that there are people who believe that if anyone dares not to consider them is selfish and inconsiderate...

They are only thoughtfull if they are complying to the parents thoughts (lol).

I would either ban all kids or no ban in place. It is the easiest thing to do.

If I really wanted child free wedding, I would not invited nieces/nephews either. Why would I do that?? The wedding is either child free or not.

poet123

Nicki wrote: »

I have kids and would do this if I really couldn't find anyone to have them with 8 months notice. OP's kids are 6 and 10. They would be absolutely fine with a day out near the wedding with their dad, and pizza and a movie in a hotel room with mum and dad taking turns to babysit. Had OP really wanted to go to the wedding, she would have found a way.

I agree, ultimately, this is what I would do if there was no alternative, but I would still be upset that my brother had not had the familial feeling to invite his own blood relatives.

haras_nosirrah

Just to add an extra dimension to this do people invite +1's to their weddings?

None of mine or my h2b's work friends who are evening guests have got invites for spouses or partners. And our friends and relatives only have partners coming if they are married or if we know the partner. This has been a bit of a bone of contention with some people where they want to bring a friend or they want to bring a new boyfriend or work colleagues want to bring partners but when we are paying £80 a head for day guests (inc meal, booze and evening) and our evening guest list is max 80 as soon as you include partners (let alone children) it means we can't include the people we want to be there.

The guest list has been the biggest headache of all.

mummyroysof3

I have been reading this thread with interest, i have 3 young children and have been invited to my sisters wedding 250 miles away, we are going but im dreading taking the kids to the wedding and would totally understand anyone not wanting kids at there wedding, kids werent invited to my dads wedding and me and my sister went on our own, leaving the kids with my mum and mil for around 6 hours, not sure i would have done it for anyone else though lol

mishkanorman

If I was close to my sibling I would make a family christmas holiday out of it, travel down the day before the wedding and return home the day after, OH would stop in with the kids as he's not all that bothered about parties and stuff anyway - however if we werent close I probably wouldnt bother going even if we were all invited !

POPPYOSCAR

Nicki wrote: »

I have kids and would do this if I really couldn't find anyone to have them with 8 months notice. OP's kids are 6 and 10. They would be absolutely fine with a day out near the wedding with their dad, and pizza and a movie in a hotel room with mum and dad taking turns to babysit. Had OP really wanted to go to the wedding, she would have found a way.

Normally speaking I would agree with you but not Christmas Eve.

It may be so far away that they have to spend two nights in a hotel room so as to get to the wedding on time.All that travelling would be exhausting especially at such a busy time as Christmas.My kids would have been a nightmare.(I have left my kids with their aunty over the weekend to go to a wedding because they did not want to go and it made it a lot easier for me.)

It would appear that the OP and her brother are not that close anyway
as I would have thought he would have spoken to her personally about this.

Any

poet123 wrote: »

I agree, ultimately, this is what I would do if there was no alternative, but I would still be upset that my brother had not had the familial feeling to invite his own blood relatives.

???
From the other point of view...

This is a wedding, a party, a celebration of 2 adults joining in marriage.

I would be very upset if my sister who I love above all insisted to bring her kids who she would run around all day long, wouldn't even sip a champaigne and leave at 6pm even though I was hoping that we can have a blast.

This is done at every family gathering, so why does it have to be on this one day as well!!

P.S.: Just to say that I did have my nieces at my wedding and many other kids, but I can see where people who do not want kids at the wedding are coming from.

Any

Any wrote: »

???
From the other point of view...

This is a wedding, a party, a celebration of 2 adults joining in marriage.

I would be very upset if my sister who I love above all insisted to bring her kids who she would run around all day long, wouldn't even sip a champaigne and leave at 6pm even though I was hoping that we can have a blast.

This is done at every family gathering, so why does it have to be on this one day as well!!

P.S.: Just to say that I did have my nieces at my wedding and many other kids, but I can see where people who do not want kids at the wedding are coming from.

Also just to add I was lucky on finances and smart to invite my sister's MIL who looked after my nieces all day/evening, so my sister could have a blast with me!!:rotfl:

Fuzzy_Duck

brians_daughter wrote: »

No, it doesnt... however on the flip side if your father has that view he has that view..so you either entertain both or neither.

Would you rather have dad present with evil aunty in tow ...making you feel on edge all the time and wondering what shes saying about you all behind your back? Surely dad will come round Poppy? I do hope so for your sake... he must be soo close to his sister to refuse to attend his daughters wedding... maybe a compramise? Invite her to the evening but not the ceremony itself? would that be acceptable for you and your dad?

I only say this as i have an evil aunt too and no way on this earth would she willingly get an invite to an envelope opening i was holding...let alone my wedding but if it meant dad wouldnt attend i would seriously ahve to find a way to sort it out

Hugs x

It's me with the vile aunt. This is going to sound awful but I'm not getting married anytime soon, and I'm rather hoping by the time I do she has passed away (she's in her 70s). I know that probably makes me a terrible person but it's the truth! That is a good idea though- she tends to fall asleep pretty quickly in the evenings so wouldn't be a bother to anyone!

To be honest I'd want a really small wedding anyway, with just my parents, siblings and a few close friends. I'd probably offend an awful lot of family members but I'm sure my dad couldn't say no if I was only having a select number of people. I could then have a party/evening do where everyone was invited to come along, and it wouldn't ruin my day nearly as much!

Glad you reached a decision OP- I think the fact it is the 23rd December and far away does make your decision more than reasonable.