How would you respond to this email, Brothers wedding invite?

POPPYOSCAR

Fuzzy_Duck wrote: »

Unfortunately not everyone would have your common sense weddings are a social minefield, it's so difficult to keep everyone happy and at the end of the day this is about the couple, not the family. My reasoning is that you can't pick your family- but you can pick your partner, and a wedding is a celebration of your love and commitment for each other. There are plenty of people who get married with just a couple of witnesses and it's perfectly normal- not to mention a lot less stressful and money saving!

This has reminded me of saying that I would not invite my aunt to my wedding- because she is a vile woman who has insulted me and my mum our whole lives and nearly broken up my mum and dad a few times because my dad would always take his sister's side rather than my mum's. I said I didn't want her there because her presence would ruin my day, as I know she'd criticise everything and insult everyone she meets. My dad said if she wasn't invited, he wasn't coming either. I was devastated, but as it's my special day she's still not getting an invite. And I just hope my dad will realise he's being a fool and his daughter should come first for once. It is my wedding day and I should surely have a right to not invite people I don't want there- she may be a relative, but I have plenty of friends who I care about more.

But won't your special day be ruined if your dad isn't there?


Be careful. I know someone who's dad said he was not going to her wedding and she still thought he would just turn up on the day, but he didn't and she was devastated.

Fang_3

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

But won't your special day be ruined if your dad isn't there?


Be careful. I know someone who's dad said he was not going to her wedding and she still thought he would just turn up on the day, but he didn't and she was devastated.

Any father that chooses his vile sister over his own daughter would not be asset to anyone's special day.

POPPYOSCAR

Fang wrote: »

Any father that chooses his vile sister over his own daughter would not be asset to anyone's special day.

Yes but that does not lessen the hurt felt.

onlyroz

Kate78 wrote: »

Some people have taken offence (notably they haven't contributed a single penny)... ah well you can't please everyone...

I'm sorry? Who exactly are you expecting to pay for your wedding?

brians_daughter

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Yes but that does not lessen the hurt felt.

No, it doesnt... however on the flip side if your father has that view he has that view..so you either entertain both or neither.

Would you rather have dad present with evil aunty in tow ...making you feel on edge all the time and wondering what shes saying about you all behind your back? Surely dad will come round Poppy? I do hope so for your sake... he must be soo close to his sister to refuse to attend his daughters wedding... maybe a compramise? Invite her to the evening but not the ceremony itself? would that be acceptable for you and your dad?

I only say this as i have an evil aunt too and no way on this earth would she willingly get an invite to an envelope opening i was holding...let alone my wedding but if it meant dad wouldnt attend i would seriously ahve to find a way to sort it out

Hugs x

POPPYOSCAR

brians_daughter wrote: »

No, it doesnt... however on the flip side if your father has that view he has that view..so you either entertain both or neither.

Would you rather have dad present with evil aunty in tow ...making you feel on edge all the time and wondering what shes saying about you all behind your back? Surely dad will come round Poppy? I do hope so for your sake... he must be soo close to his sister to refuse to attend his daughters wedding... maybe a compramise? Invite her to the evening but not the ceremony itself? would that be acceptable for you and your dad?

I only say this as i have an evil aunt too and no way on this earth would she willingly get an invite to an envelope opening i was holding...let alone my wedding but if it meant dad wouldnt attend i would seriously ahve to find a way to sort it out

Hugs x

Yes I think I would rather have my dad there even if it meant having evil aunty there as well.

As I posted earlier I know someone this happened to and she was devastated. She really thought he would turn up and was very upset when he didn't. They made up later and he was forgiven - don't think I could have forgiven my dad if he did that to me.

gambit27

If it were me, personally, I wouldn't leave my children so close to Christmas, to travel to the other side of the country for the wedding of someone who didn't even know my email or postal address, Brother or not. Yes it's their choice to have their wedding as they choose, but I'd be quite offended that he didn't want his niece and nephew there! I assume all your family will be at the wedding, so the kids would not be able to stay with your parents, so I would politely say, I'm sorry but we won't be able to attend, we don't feel comfortable leaving the kids at home with a sitter for so long, and so close to Christmas, I hope you have a lovely day, and wish you both a long and happy life together...

Their choice to not invite kids, your choice not to trapse across the country for a wedding to people your clearly not very close to will also probably save you a small fortune in hotels, outfits, drinks!

POPPYOSCAR

TonyDebs wrote: »

WOW, what a great response, thanks for your input.:money:

Out of interest have you decided what to do yet?

TonyDebs

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Out of interest have you decided what to do yet?

We have sent a nice email back thanking thm for the invite, but appologising as not able to sort childcare as rest of family will be at wedding.

Thanks for all your help:money:

POPPYOSCAR

TonyDebs wrote: »

We have sent a nice email back thanking thm for the invite, but appologising as not able to sort childcare as rest of family will be at wedding.

Thanks for all your help:money:

Thats exactly what I would have done as well.