How would you respond to this email, Brothers wedding invite?

red_devil

would it not be better to talk in person!

PasturesNew

Every day there are thousands of child free weddings. It's the choice of the bride/groom. It's nothing personal.

Venues have limits. Every bum on a seat has to be paid for. Invite everybody and their kids and you might not be able to have the venue you wanted, or affording it might become an issue. And some kids are monsters, but they can't just ban the monsters.

So they make their choice for their big day. Child free.

It's all perfectly normal.

tsstss7

lol I think being child free perhaps they have not thought this one through - there is no way I'd go to any weddings the other side of the country without my LO's on the day before xmas eve and i'm one of those who prefers to go to do's without kids. If it was my brothers wedding I'd be dissapointed but as my mum is the only person I could possibly trust to look after my kids for 24hrs plus it would exclude me anyway. tbh I wouldn't be mad keen to go with the kids but would make an effort for close family/friends as it could be a fun pre xmas family thing but it'd still be a choc load of hassle I could do without.

Mupette

I've been to weddings with children, and without.

Personal preferance is without.

Some parents see this as a chance to let their hair down, and expect others to look after their kids

Some children just get over excited and end up screaming/hyper/throw wobblies

and this is where i probably will get flamed but i can't stand screaming kids, goes right through me.

And i can't stand parents who choose to drink themselves silly and ignore their kids, and i couldn't stay quiet.

Yes before anyone thinks well she hasn't had kids... yes i have, DS is 16 now, and was never a screaming brat, throw wobblies type of child, it was a case of did it once, got told off and explained to why he shouldn't do it again, and he didn't, reinforced with the grandparents... DS soon realised that if he wanted attention, there were better nicer ways, perhaps feeding him non processed carp helped too.

yes money comes into it, OH and me will be paying for the wedding so it will only be a select few, the evening do will be our expense as well, and children are definately not welcome.

And my friends with kids... none have had a hissy fit, they know they don't have a right to. It's OH and my wedding day, we don't want anything to spoil it for us

moggylover

peachyprice wrote: »

You wouldn't have any respect for your brother's wishes then then? Charming.

I would have to say that any "brother" who was unwilling to have his nieces and nephews at his wedding wouldn't be worth much in the way of respect anyway:(

Perhaps I am just too old to "get it" but what a load of old twaddle the modern approach to weddings is! !!!!!!! You are getting married, proclaiming your love for one another, preferably amongst those that love you best, but the children of your family are not welcome! Such a very sad and ostentatious country we have become that love and caring doesn't matter as much as the show and pomposity even on a day that is supposed to be about LOVE first and foremost!

Makes me really sad!:(

Person_one

moggylover wrote: »

I would have to say that any "brother" who was unwilling to have his nieces and nephews at his wedding wouldn't be worth much in the way of respect anyway:(

Perhaps I am just too old to "get it" but what a load of old twaddle the modern approach to weddings is! !!!!!!! You are getting married, proclaiming your love for one another, preferably amongst those that love you best, but the children of your family are not welcome! Such a very sad and ostentatious country we have become that love and caring doesn't matter as much as the show and pomposity even on a day that is supposed to be about LOVE first and foremost!

Makes me really sad!:(

I must be even older than you, because I thought marriage was originally about the transfer and protection of assets, adding 'love' into the mix is a pretty modern idea actually.

Your post is unnecessarily judgemental and condemnatory. The assumption that 'show and pomposity' are the reasons for a child free wedding, when not a single poster here has expressed that and many have explained their actual reasons, is uncharitable at best.

aeb_2

moggylover wrote: »

I would have to say that any "brother" who was unwilling to have his nieces and nephews at his wedding wouldn't be worth much in the way of respect anyway:(

Perhaps I am just too old to "get it" but what a load of old twaddle the modern approach to weddings is! !!!!!!! You are getting married, proclaiming your love for one another, preferably amongst those that love you best, but the children of your family are not welcome! Such a very sad and ostentatious country we have become that love and caring doesn't matter as much as the show and pomposity even on a day that is supposed to be about LOVE first and foremost!

Makes me really sad!:(

Totally agree!

Torry_Quine

aeb wrote: »

Totally agree!

Make that me too.

moggylover

poet123 wrote: »

I have quite a few friends who I could have asked to do this, but I find it a sadder reflection on modern life that someone would see the lack of such friends as sadder than a sibling not inviting his sister/brother and their children to their wedding.

My thoughts entirely.

I suspect it is a problem that would only occur in the UK or America, any such social occasion anywhere else would be seen as something for the entire family to celebrate and the problem would not arise.

If the venue were so poor that it would not offer child places, then I would not want to use it: they obviously aren't very good at their chosen profession and the sooner they are out of it the better, imo.

If I couldn't afford to invite the children along to the particular venue I fancied then I would look for something cheaper that I could afford to invite them to. They are my FAMILY, and weddings are about someone joining a FAMILY as well as two people pledging their love before those that know and love them. Anything else is just pomp and show for the sake of it, conspicuous consumption at its' most tasteless and tacky with a complete absence of the familiale love and committment that such a day is supposed to celebrate.

No wonder the wedding planners joke that the more that is spent on the "big day" the shorter the term of the marriage is likely to be:(

moggylover

teasleym wrote: »

Friends of ours got married last October and asked politely on their invites if people had babysitters they could leave their children with not to bring them to the wedding but if not they would be welcome. Most of our friends took this as a chance to have a day/night off (especially me, leaving my 4 year old with Grandma and it was the week before my youngest was born!).
There were children there, neices, nephews, and others where people needed to bring them (due to distance, no babysitters etc), and most parents brought their own entertainment for them.

But those who had babysitters, had not all got overnight care so many had to leave the evening reception early, which I felt spoilt the evening somewhat, if they had been able to bring them, they may have stayed later, but many had to rush off after the meal to get back in time to put the kids to bed etc.

So I suppose even if you don't want the children there, and your friends still come they may not be able to share the full day.

ps. For my wedding I just let everyone come, had a v mse wedding, hired a barn from the local council and had "cheap" caterers and as some people decided to travel down for the evening reception and booked a hotel, I felt I couldn't exclude them from my full day! One of the best memories everyone has is the groom and his male friends playing football outside with the children. In fact at every wedding since it has to be recreated!

Now THAT sounds wonderful:D