How much do you live on per month?

backinbusiness

43; divorced - please can I play?

vka1

Curlygirl - you're right, nice to see a bloke on a thread! Particularly one who sports the scottsih rugby logo on his profile....

Lucy1010 et al, this thread has got me thinking though......and Lucy1010 - my apologies if I'm hajacking and deviating from original subject (not sure of etiquette when chat strays). But, there's a whole forum section for money saving in families, relationships etc, what about those of us going it alone? Twenty/thirty/forty something girls or otherwise!

Now, I do want to stress that I'm not being bah hum bug about my status and not seeing this is a 'grass is greener' sort of a way. Different ways of living present very different challenges and benefits e.g. I don't have to worry about feeding kids, my debt is all my own and doesn't impact ayone else etc. Every lifestyle has different things going on. (One thing I genuinely worry about is what if I met some nice man, how on earth would I tell him about my debt and not chase him away forever?)

For my circumstance, part of the beauty of this site is that I'm finding support, humour and wise words out there when there's noone to hold my hand through all of this. The humour bit is important, as is being inspired by folk who are braver than i''ve been yet. From a practical perspective just understanding how much is 'normal' for day to day living has been a huge help in thinking about my own spending. Chat from like minded folk is a huge relief, and makes it all so much easier.

Perhaps a new thread on this tomorrow. It has got me thinking. Hmmmmm........

And, the thought of cocktails, virtial or otherwise always helps....!

V

vka1

PS I'm probably just waffling....it's late, i'm tired, but somehow stuck to my laptop! And much of my ramblings reflect what been said already.....started out to say one thing and ended up with something comepletely different.

Must go to bed!!

Mandamoo_3

Hi All

does anyone else experience this? The amount of people that assume I am a poor pathetic specimen because I am single,they look at me as though I am but a poor orphan girl! they genuinely don't understand that I love it!

Favourite bit about being single....PJ's on snuggled with my dogs eating choc watching what I want to watch on TV = Priceless

Hope you are all having a fab day

May I have signed up for NSD but need to have a look around and see what else I can do

Oh I have given up smoking today! Wish me luck
Mmoo

curlygirl1971

vka1 wrote: »

One thing I genuinely worry about is what if I met some nice man, how on earth would I tell him about my debt and not chase him away forever?

Loved your late night ramblings vka1 - I'm quite good at those myself some nights. I can go on and on and on!

Never been in this position myself either way round....although I did have a BF that decided I didn't earn enough and my house wasn't worth enough (thank god actually - glad I didn't tell him about the £20k sat in the bank as I think he would have made plans for it)

However I know of people who have been on both sides and I think honesty has been the best policy.

I think the only time it all ended in tears was when there was an arrangement for one partner to pay off anothers debts with the intention that it was a loan - didn't work out like that and not least because in this particular case the Shopaholic never changed her spending behaviour and hid additional debts.

I think the other important thing is being seen to be doing something about it and having a plan. Anyone can get themselves into a mess (IYKWIM) but it's how we get ourselves out of it that can impress someone more. If they're a decent person they won't just judge you on your bank balance and on what has happened in the past - but what you are doing about it now and what your plan is.

merlin68

I spend £100 a week on household bills, £200 housekeeping and £180 on debts. Most of my housekeeping seems to go on kids clothes and school trips. We spend £60 a week on food which includes the £5 delivery charge. I smoke rollies and we ae loosing the car this month, so will have to budget in bus fares for essential trips. i.e school meeetings and hospital appointments.

maganan

vka1 wrote: »

Curlygirl - you're right, nice to see a bloke on a thread! Particularly one who sports the scottsih rugby logo on his profile....

Lucy1010 et al, this thread has got me thinking though......and Lucy1010 - my apologies if I'm hajacking and deviating from original subject (not sure of etiquette when chat strays). But, there's a whole forum section for money saving in families, relationships etc, what about those of us going it alone? Twenty/thirty/forty something girls or otherwise!

Now, I do want to stress that I'm not being bah hum bug about my status and not seeing this is a 'grass is greener' sort of a way. Different ways of living present very different challenges and benefits e.g. I don't have to worry about feeding kids, my debt is all my own and doesn't impact ayone else etc. Every lifestyle has different things going on. (One thing I genuinely worry about is what if I met some nice man, how on earth would I tell him about my debt and not chase him away forever?)

For my circumstance, part of the beauty of this site is that I'm finding support, humour and wise words out there when there's noone to hold my hand through all of this. The humour bit is important, as is being inspired by folk who are braver than i''ve been yet. From a practical perspective just understanding how much is 'normal' for day to day living has been a huge help in thinking about my own spending. Chat from like minded folk is a huge relief, and makes it all so much easier.

Perhaps a new thread on this tomorrow. It has got me thinking. Hmmmmm........

And, the thought of cocktails, virtial or otherwise always helps....!

V

Hi agree re seeing a bloke on here!

I dont think you're going "all bah humbug" at all this journey is different for all of us just as we're all as different as we're all the same if you see what I mean! I feel that I've got a foot in both camps the debt is all my own (sadly) even if partly accured due to circumstances I couldn't control but really no excuse............if I knew then what I know now etc etc. However I've also got children and all the joy and responsibility they bring and the full time job to support this!

I also worry about meeting someone and having to bare all (my debt soul, that is!) I did know someone (I'm still close to him) but my lifestyle didn't match his and I couldn't expect (and wouldn't let him in) to help me sort it and that was pre DMP................

I completely agree how important the support is on this site and the humour that goes with it. Still I'm rambling now, not sure what I'm saying or where its going as nothing much has changed except I'm now facing up to my debt...............but I'm definitely not playing the single parent card!

Ps look forward to your "rambling anon" thread x

backinbusiness

vka1

To quote the magnificent David Walliams "I'm a laaddeeeee!" actually; sorry to disappoint!

I support the Scottish Rugby Team because they have truly magnificent legs!!!

crafty*kate

vka1 wrote: »

Curlygirl - you're right, nice to see a bloke on a thread! Particularly one who sports the scottsih rugby logo on his profile....

Lucy1010 et al, this thread has got me thinking though......and Lucy1010 - my apologies if I'm hajacking and deviating from original subject (not sure of etiquette when chat strays). But, there's a whole forum section for money saving in families, relationships etc, what about those of us going it alone? Twenty/thirty/forty something girls or otherwise!

Now, I do want to stress that I'm not being bah hum bug about my status and not seeing this is a 'grass is greener' sort of a way. Different ways of living present very different challenges and benefits e.g. I don't have to worry about feeding kids, my debt is all my own and doesn't impact ayone else etc. Every lifestyle has different things going on. (One thing I genuinely worry about is what if I met some nice man, how on earth would I tell him about my debt and not chase him away forever?)

For my circumstance, part of the beauty of this site is that I'm finding support, humour and wise words out there when there's noone to hold my hand through all of this. The humour bit is important, as is being inspired by folk who are braver than i''ve been yet. From a practical perspective just understanding how much is 'normal' for day to day living has been a huge help in thinking about my own spending. Chat from like minded folk is a huge relief, and makes it all so much easier.

Perhaps a new thread on this tomorrow. It has got me thinking. Hmmmmm........

And, the thought of cocktails, virtial or otherwise always helps....!

V

V, I love your post. I totally agree that I think sometimes the emphasis is on money saving in families, I suppose because there are more people in that situation. I must admit that dealing with my debts while being single is kind of breeding a festering resentment within me - particularly as I acquired most of those debts after my long-term relationship broke down and I had to go it alone.

I think that there is also a perception that when you are single and fancy-free you should be doing lots of wild things and enjoying yourself - and I would, if I wasn't trying to be sensible with my money. My debts are not huge but I want to get them sorted now, and that means sorting out my attitude as well. It has taken me a long time to realise that shopping will not make me feel better.

For me, one of the best aspects of this thread has been that I had a lingering feeling that things would be better if I was in a relationship - I would have more spare cash and be able to do more things. And so perhaps now I am realising that actually, what I have is pretty good and I need to make it work, rather than longing for something I don't have.

:happyhear this thread...I feel like I am listening to a great conversation, I shall try and join in more!

Kate x

lizziebums

I just wanted to say I have sat and read this thread beginning to end tonight (yes I am a not quite 30 singleton - this is how I roll in an evening lol) and I have loved reading it.

Since I got divorced 4 years - nearly to the day - I have financially been up and down with moving lots etc but I would say I am better off overall than I was when married with a mortgage to being single with a mortgage. Although hence being on here after all bills etc in theory I should have a lot more disposable income than I have, which is why my debts although not grown havent shrunk that much the last 2 years.

A lot of this thread has been thought provoking about how much we do things because its what we think is expected etc I am finally getting stronger at the whole single, working mum thing - so much so my last BF accussed me of being too independent (but it was more the case that he wasn't ready for responsibility and prefered doing everything but pay his bills until final warning and was happy living between mine and his mums). And actually married, single, whatever people often appear happy, have lots of money, nice things etc but in reality learning thats not always the case so I am starting the process of not worrying about what others think or have in comparison.

But I am getting to a point now when on paper I should have a good % of income left after all bills etc which should be paying off debts but actually I can't find it anywhere lol so need to reign in the spending and balance out essentials and non-essentials until under control.

With regard to a previous post about breaking down outgoing to what is necessary etc where would you say things like Life Insurance, Critical Illness Insurance come under? Is it advisable to keep these going or stop them whilst paying off debts? (I do have Rheumatoid Arthritis at grand age of 29 so need to have some back up incase it gets worse - at the moment I do work term time only as works well with daughter as well as coping physically) Also I pay into a pension before tax is it advisable to keep this going too? (as often look and think that £60 a month could go on debts)

Also (sorry to ramble) does anyone know of any good books/guides/sites to help understand financial things like mortgages, insurances, pensions etc but on simple terms related to real life, as now I have sole control / responsibility would like to understand it better to make the right decisions as feel a complete girl when it comes to things like renewing insurances, sorting car, mortgage stuff (on a part buy part rent scheme ).

To help understand my viewpoint my debts include £1,300 on one CC (interest free until Jan 2012) £2,800 on another, I have a fixed loan which I pay £175 per month which will end April 2014 - which consolidated debts from ex. I have a family loan of £6000 which I dont have to pay back until I move again (as they had it spare to help me put deposit down or when ever I want they saw it as an investment) however I would like to start paying it back even if little bit at a time as feel like they will moan behind my back although they have never asked me too my pride is dented.

Sorry for the long post all I wanted to say was how much I liked thread hehehe but you all seem a nice bunch of males, females, single, married and inbetweeners :rotfl: