How to Get Through The Tough Times The Old Style Way.

grandma247

Congratulations lauren.
Purpleheather
Before you throw the microwave away it may be worth checking with a repair man. Ours have gone a few times over the years and more often than not it was the papery thing at the side that needed replacing and it did not cost much. I have no idea what it is or how it works but they all seem to have them.

gailey_2

Huge congrats lauren on baby casper such a lovley name.
Hope you both taking it easy.

Flowertotmum-here hun thanks for asking.
got slightly stranded in south wales afternoon/evening.

6weeks until due date and hubby wasent showing much get up and go with car search.
He went to cobblers to get his shoes,supermarket to do his mams shopping,his mams then his dads gravae as would have been his birthday.

I spent hour on autotrader and ringing round garages.

one near us only 5seater no good.:(
tried further afeild in cardiff.
1stgarage had no idea and managed to lose a7seater people carrier.
then found it and went all hardsell on phone ohhi ts amazing price,when you coming to veiw and pay deposit.
starting to think they delusional at that point and to avoid.

Went to2nd garage despite me saying which junction hubby decides to follow satnav
got lost wrong place,hubbys stressed has a fag blames me as im welsh and should know everypart of wales !

eventually found it they had 3 vw tourans.
kids misbehaving 12year old stepson bored,17month old bored and teething.

One went to look at ok but was another better and lowermlilage for 500more.

only offered 500 for our car:eek:

Well told hubby let me do talking.

It was good price as 1previous owner,full service history.
7seats,diesil so more economical.
managed to negociate 600for our car,years warrenty,years mot,as done last week with new cam belt,free mats.Tried to get full tank but they said no.:rotfl:

decided times getting on.
its greatprice and condition
lots of extras
model we want.
cheaper on tax and insurance.

to be brave and go for it so paid deposit.
cant face anymore gargages and kids feel tired and stressed
Hubbys pleased with me said I was fab think all the years haggling at carboots been goodpractice.

Feels scary to spend so much but long term will save us money.
can join freecycle now and get cheeap furniture!:j
need to get insurance quotes tommrow but reckon will save us least 500 a year in running costs and maybe more with repairs.

Need a cyberslap had burger king for tea as got stuck on motorway with 2 grumpy hungry kids in rushhour.
so havent cookedin2days.:(

Dropped stepson off at his mams thankgod hes hard work and she dident appreciate us having him.
she just wants us to have him sat so she can go out.

Picked upeldest from nannys who brought her new school shoes.
so been like mini trip southwales tonight dident get back until9.
so tired off to bed.
kids and hubby already asleep.

will try catch up tommorow.
hope everyones ok.

vesper

I wish I could afford contact lenses again or have surgery. I really hate wearing glasses and have worn them since I was about 4. Last time I went I was lucky that I didn't need new lenses so am quite pleased that my £25 pair have lasted about 3 years now. Not so pleased that when I went the Optician said that according to my notes that I was lucky to have any sight in one eye at all and that will probably be gone by the time I am about 40!!! I can't believe no one ever informed me of this before, I remember having some kind of surgery when I was really small, supposedly this was to try and save my sight! Supposedly my parents know all about this, but you would have thought that by the age of 26 someone would have had the courage to tell me. Annoyed me a lot as I depend on my sight as I do a lot of painting and drawing.

Feeling terribly guilty tonight as went to the supermarket and bought some cheap chickens (£1.75 for a chicken!) but couldn't find anything I fancied for tea, so ended up having a chinese. Feel so bad, but the OH is off work tomorrow (only the second we have had together since xmas) so he said it was a little treat. Had been rushing around all night as had to go and fetch a big china cabanet that my Aunt had given us. Though got to admit I am not sure where on earth I am going to put it, it was part of a set with a dining room table and chairs which were the bits we wanted.
Going to have a second viewing of the repo house that we are 'bidding' on tomorrow. Hopefully every time I look at something the EA won't stand in my way this time.
Thanks for the croquet advice, will go and order it at the library at the end of the week if I can find my library card (don't think I have been to the library since I was 18).
Having a bit of a nostalga night now, chatting to one of my mates about the nightclub we used to go to and all of the music that it played. Bringing back some very happy memories!

happierdaystocome

Congrats Lauren on the birth of your son

Purpleheather, have you though about requesting or looking to see if a Microwave or any of the other bits you require are available.

Flowerstomum, OMG so glad that you and yours are safe and hopefully your neighbour is now getting the help and support she needs. Also I'll keep my fingers crossed that your sil gets paid tomorrow.

7week wonder, thanks for the link, there is one pretty close to me, so I will check this out both for myself and some of the families I work with

Vesper, good luck at the auction tomorrow.

We moved house before xmas and although where we are renting a a garden, I am know having to grow all my veg/fruit in pot this summer. So I've been trying to research how to do this and what is most cost effective for use as a family. As though OH and I eat all veg, DD and DS are very picky.

ceridwen

vesper wrote: »

I wish I could afford contact lenses again or have surgery. I really hate wearing glasses and have worn them since I was about 4. Last time I went I was lucky that I didn't need new lenses so am quite pleased that my £25 pair have lasted about 3 years now. Not so pleased that when I went the Optician said that according to my notes that I was lucky to have any sight in one eye at all and that will probably be gone by the time I am about 40!!! I can't believe no one ever informed me of this before, I remember having some kind of surgery when I was really small, supposedly this was to try and save my sight! Supposedly my parents know all about this, but you would have thought that by the age of 26 someone would have had the courage to tell me. Annoyed me a lot as I depend on my sight as I do a lot of painting and drawing.

.
Going to have a second viewing of the repo house that we are 'bidding' on tomorrow. Hopefully every time I look at something the EA won't stand in my way this time.

First off - good luck with getting the house.

:eek: to finding out there is this major problem with an eye AND that no-one thought to tell you beforehand. I am surprised that your parents didnt tell you exactly what the position is with that eye. Mine have always taken the view that I should be told everything that has ever happened to either my own health or anyone else's in the family (in case it's got any genetic element - so I need to take extra "precautions" to make sure I don't get it too). I am glad that I know what to watch out for personally - and have been able to "take evasive action" accordingly. Even for a type of ailment that it is not possible to "take said evasive action" about - then the person needs to know they have got/might get whatever-it-is in case they need to make any change in plans in regard to it and can generally decide what their attitude will be if they find they DO get it ever.

We need to plan out our money - as to how much we need and how we are going to get it and how to try to adapt/live our life if it looks like there won't be as much as we need. The exact same criteria applies to all other "external" factors that might affect our life - like health for instance. So I'm surprised they didnt tell you - maybe they've just been crossing their fingers that this problem wouldnt affect you ever? There must presumably be some sort of odds given as to whether you would or wouldnt "come up on the black throw of the dice" on this??

redlady_1

Well, I got through my first day at work but this cold is just doing me in now. One of the partners said "oh why dont you go home?" !!!!!!??? I just replied with "you know why I am here and I cannot afford to go home". She just stared at me. Some people live on another planet. After all the uproar over the sick pay -which apparently is now company policy. I said it would be worth telling everyone then so they can put some insurance in place.

That said I have managed to sell my wardrobe on ebay. Just all the clothes that are in it to go now!

I am taking some marmalade in and one of the girls wants to see my embroidery (I am making some cushions)

ceridwen

VESPER

You've had me pondering further on this eye problem of yours - whilst washing up.

I think maybe my parents didnt tell me about the health problems to look out for until I was a bit older than you in fact. I suspect their reasoning was that they were waiting until I was a bit more "settled" in life and could cope better with knowing. At your age I was having to try to cope with having to live in grotty bedsits (as my area is too dear for a low-paid single person to be able to afford to rent the flat I had expected to rent). So - there was problems with having to live in a place that wasnt fit for anyone to live in and adapt as best I could to that. I was also dating men and trying to find the right one for me to marry (never did find him - proposals, but not Mr Right...but thats another story). I think it all started to emerge when I was living in a better place and steady dating a man they at least liked - ie "in a better place" to hear bad news.

They are now telling me just what its like with their "ailments of old age" and I know its to:
- make it plain to me that older people readily get written off by the NHS and have to fight harder for anything they need - so be ready to fight
- help me accept these ailments if I subsequently get them too.

I've translated that into:
- must make sure I have enough money to buy all health care privately (so I dont have to fight the NHS)
- must swing into full "prevent ill health mode" so as to make sure I don't get these ailments too if I possibly can

******************

So - maybe your parents do plan on telling you but are waiting until you are "settled enough" into adult life to be able to deal with it. Perhaps they are waiting until you are settled into a house of your own and have been married/partnered-up for a few years and settled well into married life as well. I would guess they were waiting till then to tell you?? I may be wrong - but I was pondering when I would have told you if I were them and that was the conclusion I came to as to when it would be if it were me...

I would hazard a guess that they were waiting until you had safely been in this house a couple of years and done the worst of the work on it - and then tell you (when you didnt have so much else on your plate).

ceridwen

redlady_1 wrote: »

Well, I got through my first day at work but this cold is just doing me in now. One of the partners said "oh why dont you go home?" !!!!!!??? I just replied with "you know why I am here and I cannot afford to go home". She just stared at me. Some people live on another planet. After all the uproar over the sick pay -which apparently is now company policy. I said it would be worth telling everyone then so they can put some insurance in place.

Good luck back at work.

Try not to bleed (too much;)) all over them:cool:

Have you asked them to have that "company policy" in writing? Certainly - if it IS now company policy to treat people this way then the least they could do IS to tell everyone. People need to make their plans accordingly to be able to cope with reduced income if they become ill at any point (be it insurance, savings or whatever other way they need to plan for this possibility).

Personally I would be getting the message over to management "Are you going to tell the staff - or am I? Because one of is surely going to do so....:cool:". If they still didnt tell the staff - then I would go ahead and tell everyone else myself - because I think its only fair they know.

BTW - are you in the Union? Think it would be wise to join if you arent already..

Pitlanepiglet

Redlady, might be worth making a formal request for full pay. No sick pay policies are usually just to deter those who bunk off frequently. Might be worth setting out your medical position and your financial position and asking for it to be considered. Where I worked once it was at partner's discretion. Do you work for a law firm?

Thinking about it, they couldn't take away a contractual right to sick pay unilaterally,did you get it previously?

I have a cooking dilemma! OH will be away all day until 9 tonight. I have a meeting to go to this afternoon and prob won't be back til 6.30. I need to sort out a meal to leave for 76 yr old dad to be able to sort for him and 90 yr old mum in law. Dad can/will cook things in oven or microwave but has short attention span,no point getting him to boil veg/pots. I was thinking cottage pie (i've got mince, chicken & chicken thighs unfrozen) and pre cooking additional carrots so he can micro. Any other suggestions? Bit brain dead this week and can't think.

ceridwen

Pitlanepiglet wrote: »

Redlady, might be worth making a formal request for full pay. No sick pay policies are usually just to deter those who bunk off frequently. Might be worth setting out your medical position and your financial position and asking for it to be considered. Where I worked once it was at partner's discretion. Do you work for a law firm?

Thinking about it, they couldn't take away a contractual right to sick pay unilaterally,did you get it previously?

.

I'm not sure on this legally - but my suspicion is that they could indeed do this - BUT should give appropriate notice in writing to EVERYONE telling them of this change of policy.

Hence - my advising to get this policy in writing - just in case this is something that they are just trying to do to Redlady only and they are lying when they say this is now company policy.

Certainly no harm in making a formal request for full sick pay (as per normal/what used to be normal). So - yep...if it turns out that it is indeed now policy for everyone - then get that letter in stating:
- no notice given in writing - so is this valid?
- pointing out exactly how much sick leave has ever been taken and for what (ie "look how little it is and it is only for genuine illness - I'm not a skiver").

I shouldnt think they give a darn about the financial position of anyone they do this too - but I think they might possibly back down when its pointed out by Redlady that there has been no notice of this major change in contract for everyone. I thought employers had to give at least 3 months notice of any major change in contract???? Worth looking up to see how much notice they have to give..

Employers cant just simply out of the blue tell staff who are in the type of job that they know carries full pay as normal if off work sick that their conditions have just been worsened like that and they are expected to make do with SSP. If people go into the type of work that DOES carry a full sick pay norm then they just don't have any savings put specifically to one side to allow for covering part of their own salary. I certainly never did so. I spent as it came in - because I knew it would keep coming in as normal even if I was off work sick. If SSP only was the policy - then I would have avoided some spending on "luxuries" and put some savings to one side specifically in case of sickness. Its hardly possible now to go back in time and put any money spent to one side in case...its now BEEN spent...because you knew you safely COULD....grrr..