How to Get Through The Tough Times The Old Style Way.

ceridwen

squeaky wrote: »

Sorry for the very selective quoting - but as I read the post it's these two points that leapt out at me.

This because they embody a fairly basic philosophy of life that can really help at times. Bad things of all kinds happen. Some of them you did (that's the generic you ) and others were done to you.

If you can't/won't/don't deal with them but instead fret, worry, harp-on about them they can stick with you for a long time. Eating away.

So yes, if you can step outside yourself a bit, aiming for a different perpective, and analyse what went wrong and why... once you've got that bit worked out you're more than half way home. What's left is to decide what you can and cannot do to remedy things or avoid that situation in the future.

Learn the lessons - then drop the rest in with the garbage - 'cos that's all it is.

In an earlier post I mentioned that I'd deliberately put myself in debt for the first time in years. It's not a big one but it's going to eat almost a quarter of my income for a year. And I'm not bovvered

It was scary as a big black scary thing for a day or two until I got hold of myself and told myself "Well you got yourself into this... so how are you going to deal with it?". I've been right through my bills and managed to save a bit here and there, I've given up two main "luxuries" (for a year ) I've hacked away at things and I'm now, after a busy old day, at the point where my short fall on meeting the payments without my finance going into reverse is a mere £14 per month.

So if I can't find fifty pence a day by going hard time OS and living off one or two extra bog-offs, special deals, and yellow stickers - well you can take me outside and shoot me

Everybody's situation is different, I know. But the technique of having a good look at things, working out what you're looking at, and then fixing what you can and living with the rest - that's what helps you sleep at night.

Same thing with future worries about Tough Times. Work out what they are, work out what you'll do IF it happens - then roll over and go back to sleep


Excerpt from Squeaky'sBigBookOfHardLifeLessons

Oh yep... Plan A, Plan B, Plan C if need be and then try to forget the "Blimmin' Problem" as best possible and think "Got a Life to live - better get on with it then....". Thats my take on things too - most of the time:o. I was brought up with a VERY "stiff upper lip" philosophy of life ("last of the Spartans" philosophy I sometimes thought.....:cool:). I have found/DO find it a bit "harsh" at times in some ways - as a bit of cuddly/empathetic sympathy would have often felt much "nicer". Howsomever - my parents arent "hard" people - just very pragmatic. Hence - my second reaction to stuff is "Reet - NOW whats the solution to this then? How do I deal with it?". I'm human enough that the first reaction is get angry/break down in tears/etc as appropriate - but the "second reaction" of sheer pragmatic "how to deal with" comes in pretty quickly afterwards.

I'm HUGELY admiring of the very pragmatic way the Japanese are reacting to the enormous problems Japan is experiencing right now. I feel so sorry for them for what they are experiencing and feel very sympathetic to them and have given what money I can afford towards Shelterboxes for this. The way they are coping as a nation is incredible though - they are clearly (and very understandably) devastated by what they are going through - but I am positively in awe of seeing them with tears in their eyes, but determination to just "get on with dealing with this". I feel huge sympathy - and major respect - to them for how they are handling this hellish situation they are in - and do hope that they get all the help possible in dealing with this.

ChocClare

We stayed in a hotel in Morocco once when my DS was a baby. He used to sleep after lunch and he would scream at the top of his lungs for 10 minutes before he went off. The quickest way to get him to stop was for me and DH to hide on the balcony. If we went in, he screamed longer. The situation was not helped AT ALL by a lady a few rooms down who kept insisting that our son had been left alone and kept fetching staff to come and open the room. In the end, I had to be very sharp with her, draw myself up to my full height and tell her in my finest waspish and indignant Sorbonne French that I apologised that our child was disturbing her afternoons, but that he was NEVER left alone, and that he would settle, but that he was a baby, and babies need familiar surroundings to get off to sleep.

I hope that the baby will settle after a while - no-one hates the sound of a baby crying more than a mother so she won't be sleeping either if it's any consolation

If the people next door had a loud stereo, then your suggestion would be more than reasonable, ceridwen, but I think it's a bit simplistic with a baby unfortunately!

mardatha

My youngest was the same CC. I used to shove him in the furthest away room, go into the kitchen, put Radio Four on and make tea . Sooner or later his battery ran down and he shut up

ifonlyitwaseasier

fedupfreda wrote: »

Afternoon peeps :wave:

Thanks for the good wishes. You are all sweeties. :smileyhea

On the scale of things its pretty small beer - I can still work (just about) but I am off my food (and I am a complete glutton so I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself at the moment, I have to keep off anything fatty, bacon butties are OUT )

So,as lots of people are obviously finding it tough at the moment - anyone got any good ideas as to how we can all cheer ourselves up - preferably not involving food? (what with tooth problems, colds, tummy trouble etc etc think we all best steer clear ATM!)

Anything cheap - or preferably FREE.:D

I'm looking forward to a hot bath later on, accompanied by some nice music. Shame I can't have a glass of something nice at the same time - but I shall still have plenty of bubbles

We could all do with some cheering up what with everything which has been going on at home and abroad recently.:(

So come on peeps - anyone got any good ideas on cheap mood lifters??

ok this has made me laugh sooooo hard recently i think i need to warn you , turn the music up and don't watch where you can scare small children with your snorts of laughter!

i have to admit i find silly things funny and sometimes thats all you need

ceridwen

I know you're not - being personal that is - kezlou...

...which brings the subject back to Solutions - ie how to prevent noise escaping from one's own home on the one hand or coming in from neighbours' homes on the other hand.

Has anyone got any practical solutions for dealing with this that others can use too?

Dont want this thread to go off into another "spat" please....so if there ARE any practical solutions anyone has - then they would be more than welcome..

kezlou

Thanks ceridwen

One method i sed was moving the tv's etc a bit further away from the walls. That way at least, i hope anyway, it would the noise to bounce back into our rooms.

From a child's noise etc, yes kids are noisy, well mine are!
I deliberately have our beds placed on walls away from from i.e from adjoining neighbours walls. So the noise again, hopefully is reflected back into our home.

Apart from that i'm not really sure, but any ideas are welcome!

ChocClare

Unfortunately I don't have any solutions, otherwise I'm sure we'd all have come up with something for GreyQueen

The baby will stop screaming. Idiot Boy has to be evicted to get a solution!

Sadly, some houses are just built or designed so noise travels. I live in a detached house with metre-thick walls in its own grounds with my nearest neighbour a good 500 yards away.

We have become understandably sensitive to noise when we go anywhere else :rotfl:

Our first flat, you knew exactly what all the neighbours were doing. I stayed with my brother recently and thought, good grief, how can he bear these people walking up and down over his head all night? He doesn't even notice. My aunt's house backed onto a railway. You stopped noticing the trains a couple of hours after you'd been there (and you dived under the table the first time, believe me). I think most reasonable people can put up with everyday noises from their neighbours, can't they?

Former_MSE_Andrea

It's the weekend everyone..... chill please

As we all know this week, life could be a lot worse!

redlady_1

I was harrassed to an unbelieveable level when I rented by my neighbours. They reported me to Environmental Health for the chiming of a clock and the noise of a tumble dryer. I was such a wreck as they were listening for every movement. They cost me two relationships (use your imagination) and in the end drove me from my home. I have been on both sides of the fence and I can tell you, one you can do something about and the other you cant. I could not control how my neighbours behaved. They came across as high and mighty just because they owned and I rented. I never ever want to experience that again.

As I said to them (before things got really out of hand and I threatened them with the police) that semi detached living comes with a certain amount of noise and as I was in bed by 10pm they were doing pretty well!!!

I also know what is and isnt considered noise on official terms and when the EH officer says that the "woman obviously has a problem with you. Change your number and have nothing more to do with them" you know that sometimes people, and I hate to say this now but normally home owners, try to impose their lifestyles on others.

It is give and take - just the way everything in life is. Oh, and my new neighbours...well they wake me every morning. I am going to get them some WD40 for their bed!! :rotfl:

Sound proofing is quite difficult, especially if you have floorboards as the sound can often travel underneath as well as through. I have done a spot of research! :rotfl:

kezlou

thats what i'm like clare, i go to my inlaws so quiet and calm. Come back home to screaming and shouting, traffic flying by.


Weird thing is, when i first moved into town, literally about mile and a half from where i used to live. I couldn't sleep because it was too quiet!!

There's me thinking town would be loud! Now i can't sleep because i moved 50 yards to a noisier street,

you see i just can't win!

That's what i was saying in my response to ceridwen, that i know where loud i.e with the kids but so our neighbours. Its matter of learning to live with each other.

Don't get me started on the whole rented / versus ownded nonsense and noise. I've given up on that now and for me it seems to be the best way. There deal with my lowly plant hanging over the alley way wall (my side) i deal with they constant shouting, music and dog barking.