spending and emotional issues

bratz81

Byatt wrote: »

bratz81, true about the bank charge. I found out I have a "free" month in March and don't have to pay council tax. Normally I would be thinking what can I spend that on! But this time I am using it to pay towards my debt.

I totally understand this, I would have been the same, and sometimes still am. I try to be more sensible now and put spare money towards debt, although sometimes I slip up.
It's hard, but we can get there!

secretshopper75

Byatt...I know exactly what you mean about needing to spend even if it's only a couple of pounds...at least it's cash though I spend now not money on a credit card...

skyvicky123

I have just caught up on the last few posts. I think this thread could be useful to keep us all on track seen as we have all established we have the same reason for over-spending.

I have been so much better since I have become more active on this forum generally, and since I started working in cash. I am lucky in that I don't have to cut out all luxuries to pay my debts - so we have a bit in the budget for eating out / entertaining. I do find I still get cravings to spend money on something (anything!) But I have found it helps to just acknowledge that I won't beat it and it's better to just make it a small spend. Rather than let it build up until I justify a big blow out to myself.

Actually a trip to the library seems to really help, because I come away with books and I get to read them for free!

Last month i managed to pay £600 off the debts (I think) and on track for even more this month so that's a real motivator to get things under control.

Plus I am formulating longer term plans for what I / we want as a family going forward ...debts cleared, overpay on mortgage, get conservatory, start paying into pension. If I keep remembering that it helps.

Plus my house is now super-tidy which makes my mind feel better and gives me something to focus on. Byatt, I know what you mean by being mildly OCD - I am trying to turn it to my advantage to keep me on track xx

ceejaydee23

Skyvicky, I wish i could be even slightly OCD about housework, but it doesn't seem to stay forever, lol I filled out paperwork last night basically a SOA for CAB and they strangely take into consideration stuff id never have thought of! I'm thinking tomorrow when i take the forms back, they will be telling me i'm laughing if i think i can afford to pay back the Housing Association and Council what i thought i could. especially as it seems i also have a large gas bill to pay, as its mounted up over the last 2 winters when we moved in back in november 2009.

skyvicky123

Ceejaydee, from what I understand they say it's best to include all those little things you wouldn't think about, otherwise they'll only come up later and throw you off track. At the end of the day the SOA never lies and the council etc can't take what you don't have so don't sweat it.:)

I pay my gas by DD but still end up owing more after the winter (cos it's been sooo cold!) Being really tight now and keep turning the heating off but OH complains bitterly so I end up giving in.:mad:

On the cleaning front...it totally wears off for me too. I find when i'm on top of it, it's great but if one thing slides the whole thing goes to pot. I read somewhere that it's called the broken window effect. If 1 window is broken then people feel more open to putting out the others as well! I.e. if one wet towel is left on the floor, before you know it everybody has thrown theirs there too and you have a whole pile of crap to deal with!

Working from home today which is a treat! Took dog for a walk and popped into the shop looking for that Glamour magazine with free clinique but not in yet...so came away with my fiver in tact!!

Now for a cuppa :beer:and a sandwich...what an exciting life!

ceejaydee23

THATS EXACTLY how it is in our house! I'm trying to gradually declutter again! As my earlier post on this thread said, it took me just over 3 1/2 hours over 3 days to gut my daughters bedroom whilst she wasnt here! It was the one room left completely unrecognizable as a room!

I am now in thoughts that the letter i received from Housing Officer was one of those threat kind of letters, as since i sent the email off i've not heard anything back, Its not like i'm trying to avoid paying anything, before applying for housing benefit/council tax benefit we were doing ok, though i knew we would be about a month in arrears as i notified the housing officer at the time (since then the actual housing officer has changed!) as my last maternity pay packet wasnt going to put enough in my account to cover it! BUT at the time i didnt think to pay a weekly or 2 weekly amount. You kinda go into panic mode and dont think straight, then they messed up on the benefits, Its been an eye opener to us both, but we're still angry, But we know when all the debts are gone we will be over £400 a month better off! If they can ALL be gone in 5 years id be well impressed! Cos then we can put some money away for the kids, and still save for a further couple of years to get married (as that would be the icing on the cake!)

skyvicky123 wrote: »

Ceejaydee, from what I understand they say it's best to include all those little things you wouldn't think about, otherwise they'll only come up later and throw you off track. At the end of the day the SOA never lies and the council etc can't take what you don't have so don't sweat it.:)

I pay my gas by DD but still end up owing more after the winter (cos it's been sooo cold!) Being really tight now and keep turning the heating off but OH complains bitterly so I end up giving in.:mad:

On the cleaning front...it totally wears off for me too. I find when i'm on top of it, it's great but if one thing slides the whole thing goes to pot. I read somewhere that it's called the broken window effect. If 1 window is broken then people feel more open to putting out the others as well! I.e. if one wet towel is left on the floor, before you know it everybody has thrown theirs there too and you have a whole pile of crap to deal with!

Working from home today which is a treat! Took dog for a walk and popped into the shop looking for that Glamour magazine with free clinique but not in yet...so came away with my fiver in tact!!

Now for a cuppa :beer:and a sandwich...what an exciting life!

Byatt

Hi everyone, how lovely to hear from you all! I have a splitting headache tonight, so will write more tomorrow and catch up. I did a separate thread updating how I was doing because I didn't know if I could keep "bumping" this thread, but it will be great to get support and give support.

Take care xxx

MessyMare

So today I managed both an NSD and a no-overeating day. Must admit though that my lovely mum bought me some shoes for my new job; I wish I could wear the steel toe cap boots that B got me but I have to wear smart shoes in case I have to serve in the shop it'll be worth it though!

skyvicky123

Welldone ColleenPamela on the NSD! Have to admit I have caved and got fish n chips for tea. Had partially made a chicken pie but it did not look appetising and I am feeling a but under the weather so just gives me a little boost (prob not all that good for immune system)

Also succumbed to reduced donuts at coop...woops. Still though, was cash not cards and not overspent this week so don't feel tooo bad.

Byatt, sorry to hear you're under the weather - hope you feel better soon x

ceejaydee23

sorry to hear some of you arent feeling great, I wasnt either earlier, But I scrubbed my kitchen sink and cleaned down my kitchen work top, which then spurred me on to do the bathroom sink too, as i got a plumber coming on friday to see why the water aint running away properly! (probably something my daughter has emptied or pushed down the holes) And whilst i was scrubbing the sink i think my son thought he was helping by giving the toilet roll a dunking down the loo! thats 3 ruined now! I think either we need new doors n handles OR a lock for the outside of it lol