I can't take no more

Pixiechic

Hi creamcrackers,

I wish I could think of something to say that could make you feel better or help.

Your husband sounds frightening and you sound so understandably unhappy. Have you got anyone at all that could help? How many children do you have living with you? Do you feel safe?

I am sure that people better able to advise you will come on. I couldn't read and ignore, I think you need to leave. It sounds like a very hostile environment and you sound scared.

Bloomin_Freezing2

I don't really know what to say to you Creamcrackers, I really, really feel for you.

Does he work until 10pm everynight? I think you should take the time whilst he's working to pack up some things for yourself and the kids and GET OUT! This 'man' doesn't deserve to even be left a 'Dear John' letter. You should leave him, be strong, don't let him persuade or bully you into returning - whatever threats he makes!

Your daughter is delicate enough as it is with her eating disorder, she doesn't need to witness anymore of this violent behaviour. What would you tell your daughter to do if it were her in your relationship?

You deserve BETER than this, regardless of how he may put you down.

If you don't have family or friends to turn to, please contact a charity. There are people who want to help you please use them. They are there because what's happenning with you is wrong.

I'm sure you'll have advice on here, and many messages of love and support. I'm sure you'll hear things that you have told yourself 100 times before. But please take action, I am scared for you and what his next move may be. xx

ailuro2

I don't think this is one of those posts where you'll feel better this morning, however it IS a new day.

Leave, this man isn't a partner he's a millstone round your neck.

It doesn't matter whether you've been with him one yrear or a hundrer, anyone treating you like this does not deserve your love.

Plenty advice above re women's aid etc. never ever be ashamed to tell your families what's going on - they probably suspect already but don't want to adk in case it gets you in more trouble...

Sambucus_Nigra

If you split up before - you CAN do it again.

Don't get sad - get ANGRY and get OUT

Barneysmom

Gosh this is how I was with my ex.
I started being very crafty as I knew I'd have to get out.
I started stashing tenners and 20 pound notes inside my books on the bookcase (he never read a book) .
I never saved much looking back.
But when he was sober I told him I had had enough of his behaviour and I was taking myself away for the weekend to think about the future.
Which I did. I took myself to a B&B in Ross on Wye and had a darn good think about what needed to be done, ate a few good meals then went home.
As I sat there on the settee and said that I was sorry but it was over, he crumpled. That big bully who'd spent all our spare money on beer and being the Big Man fell apart before my eyes.
The year following was hard but now I'm marride to the kindest person you could ever meet. He's there for me and I'm there for him, life will get better.
Put your bravest shoes on and do what you know you have to do.
If he doesn't stop drinking there really is no future anyway because he'll be dead by the time he's 50.
Good luck xxx

YORKSHIRELASS

You have got to end this relationship. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you and what a massive step it must seem to walk away but how long can you continue living like this?

Do you have friends or family that you could go to or would be able to help? I dont have much experience but there must be charities or other agencies that can help you if not.

Your post really touched me, I hope it works out OK.

lindens

What no-one has mentioned here is that it is obvious to me this man needs help also. I do not condone for one moment the way this man is treating you and the kids, but alot has happened to him, from your last post, and he probably needs help himself. losing contact with his other children must have been heartbreaking for him as was losing his father.
it sounds like he didn't know how to cope, felt angry that these things had happened to him and is taking it all out on you.
At the moment though, only he can help himself and i would suggest either he leaves or you leave as it sounds like a horrible and potentially unsafe siutation to be in.
You have done it before and managed by getting a well paid full time job - you can do it again.

dontknowwhat2doanymore

I was in this situation 12 months ago, and was on the verge of going to a refuge until ex decided to move out. Even though he moved out the abuse still continued, he would barge into the house unannounced as it was 'his house' and take what he wanted. It all came to a head when he assaulted me in front of 2 of our children, I phoned the police and got him arrested. This started the ball rolling and I managed to get a restraining order, anti molestation and occupation order, and could then change the locks.

Since then it hasn't been an easy ride, I still used to get the 'you don't know how hard it is for me' when I was handing over the kids. Twelve months on the ex is still feeling sorry for himself and blames me for the situation - I kicked him out, not the reasons behind it lol. But myself and the children are the happiest we have ever been, and the ex has finally started spending quality time with the kids.

I remember being in the place you are, when you can't see the answer, and being scared about the changes/ reactions/ finances. The one thing that hit home with me was the thought that if my daughter was in my situation would I encourage her to leave? If it was my sons who were the abuser would I condone it?

I hope you can sort this for yours and your childrens sake, thinking of you xxx

Bloomin_Freezing2

dontknowwhat2doanymore,

I hope you are ok, as with other posts we read not unlike your own, many of us sit here and wonder how you are. For all we know, you could be the woman in the house next door, petrified and so in need of help.

You are important, and so are you kids. Just wanted to let you know we all care and are thinking of you.

chocdonuty

As for your current situation, believe me you need to either get out or get him out, I've been there and done that and my life is so much better now, although at the time i just thought my life was just the way it was, nothing could change. I had a wake up moment and realised it's just not right and I deserved more-you do too.