Less than 12 weeks pregnant club! 2

Rups32

ah i would like an OTT mum purely because mine is a hard woman. lol.

yes dizsie, my birth mum gave me up for adoption but it was in the family, and to her brother and his wife as they couldnt have kids. At first i thougth how could she have done that, but i know she meant well because the aunt who adopted me was wonderful and i had a great childhood. i found eventually years after as i was nosing around and saw the adoption certificate. it was upsetting but i just forgot about it. this was all in kenya. when i was 12 my mum (aunt who had adopted me) passed away and a year after my biological dad. My uncle re-married and the new step mum hated me as she knew i wasnt his kid. At that stage my birth mum wanted to move to the UK as she was a British citizen so she asked me to go with her and the rest of my siblings. it was hard work trying to bond with my siblings and we did but never have with my mum. sadly. my sis and i were close too but that got so ruined when stupid cancer took her away.

fluffnutter

My mother's being a pain. I love her dearly and we usually have an easy relationship but my being pregnant has put it under strain a little. She sneers quite a bit at the advice I'm given by the midwives - things were obviously different nearly 40 years ago when she had her children (yikes!) and she seems to think a lot of what I'm being told is nonsense.

She also tries to give me advice. For example she tried to palm me off with a Gina Ford book the other day - NOT my cup of tea at all - and got really offended when I said thanks very much but I wasn't really following that kind of advice. She went and sulked! What's that about?? I've only got two weeks to go and I'm feeling pretty up and down so I can do without the stress really. It's really upsetting when she scoffs and mocks what I've been told. I find myself getting really defensive.

Anyways, I've made a pact with myself not to see her until the baby's born. I'll be in touch but I just won't meet for lunch or whatever. I've just been moaning to my best friend about it as it happens. She has similar problems with her mother and said it will be even worse after the baby's born. Great

Rups32

not what one needs right now or during this time right? I think you are right to steer away as speaking to her wont probably help. mine is an expert at sulking too. you dont need that. its sad but what can you do. mothers hey? we def wont follow that cycle.

dizsiebubba

Rups that all sounds very tough! You are a tough cookie then after losing so many loved ones

Rups32

ahh dizsie you think so? awh no one has said that before, thank you! i thought i was quite emotional and disturbed at times. hehe. well i guess it's those things that you just have to deal with and move on. it was very hard and confusing, but then we had to move to the Uk and adjust so well all did that. Then when the mc happened, it got a bit too much. losses as everyone knows are just so damn hard to deal with and time def is a healer. I always think of my adopted mum though as she had so many miscarriages too and in the end, they took her ovaries out as it was getting too dangerous for her. she looked after me so well even when i wasnt hers. i miss her but i am trying to stay sane. promise.

fluffnutter

Rups32 wrote: »

not what one needs right now or during this time right? I think you are right to steer away as speaking to her wont probably help. mine is an expert at sulking too. you dont need that. its sad but what can you do. mothers hey? we def wont follow that cycle.

She's normally a bit more reasonable. I think it's just brought out the worst in her, tbh. No doubt I'm partly to blame for not being inclusive enough. We're very different personalities. I'm very insular and tend to want to do things my own way whereas she's much more of a people person. She probably feels a little redundant.

But you know what? It's not about her. My pregnancy, my baby, my right to do it my way. I get where she's coming from, I really do. But I won't put up with the sulking. I can't abide passive-aggressive behaviour.

Rups32

no you are right. she has had her time and she could back off a bit. yes they mean well but sometimes they forget that things cant always go their way. be strong about it. i am sure she will be fine after little one is here.

walby1993

Thanks for the replies re:scan! Feel happier that DH won't miss out now.

Hugs to all the ladies with unsympathetic mothers! Zcrat, there was a lot fewer guidelines in our parents day but equally there was a higher rate of mc/stillbirth etc. And as my mum put it when I told her I was slashing my beloved tea intake, even though it would probably be fine and there are women out their who smoke/drink/take drugs during pregnancy and the baby is fine, if I did anything that wasn't recommended and I had a mc or another sort of problem I would never be able to forgive myself! And it is true! Although guidelines say there is no reason to avoid sex in pregnancy I have only had REALLY slow and gentle sex twice with DH as when I mc'd last time it was after I started spotting after sex so I am really paranoid (sorry if tmi).

Dizsiebubba, I think my mum is like yours - OTT. She keeps buying stuff as well! She already had 12 bibs, a gro-bag, a six vests (of varying sleeve lengths), baby bath, baby shampoo and a few other bits and pieces too - I am not even 8 weeks :rotfl::eek:.

Rups32

walby, totally agree. in those days they ate stuff too that we are not allowed nowadays. weird. Imagine the French women and their cheeses. theie babies are normally ok but its understandable and we would do everything to make sure bubbas are ok.

same happened to me last time when had mmc after sex with hubby so i am scared now, havent let him close to me for 11 weeks. ouch.

can i borrow you and dizcie's mums? lol..

Rups32

Right ladies. took half a day off today, so am off to have a shower first (our hot water is busted) and then off to shop for my dress. Speak to you ladies later or tomorrow. xx