Less than 12 weeks pregnant club! 2

moneypuddle

fluffnutter wrote: »

Just try one thing for me: decide that you don't have to answer any questions or work anything out for a few months. When you're 16 weeks pregnant, revisit that list you've written and see how you feel about things then.

I'll do thanks. Thanks fluffnutter. I think once I have the scans / hear the heartbeats etc things will seem a little more positive.

Does anyone else just not feel a connection to the little thing in your tummy yet? I just imagined as soon as I got my BFP I would be a complete tummy stroker, but at the minute I just dont really feel anything

fluffnutter

moneypuddle wrote: »

I'll do thanks. Thanks fluffnutter. I think once I have the scans / hear the heartbeats etc things will seem a little more positive.

Does anyone else just not feel a connection to the little thing in your tummy yet? I just imagined as soon as I got my BFP I would be a complete tummy stroker, but at the minute I just dont really feel anything

Not feel a connection?? At times I actively disliked this thing that was making me feel so dog rough. I felt completely overwhelmed by what felt like an alien being.

When I had my first scan and saw my baby I howled. Plus I was starting to feel so much better by that point too. I really turned the corner then. It will happen for you too.

fluffnutter

I expected to fall in love with my baby the moment I saw the two lines, particularly after years of fertility treatment and IVF. But it just didn't work like that. I have a theory: because so many pregnancies sadly end in the first few weeks, I reckon the hormones prevent you really bonding with something that you might lose. It's nature's way of controlling your excitement and perhaps it's no coincidence that you start feeling so much more positive and in tune with your baby once the hormones start dropping.

I appreciate that this is a sweeping statement, and that most pregnant women desperately want their babies to survive, no more so than women who've been through the hell of a miscarriage. I loved the idea that I was pregnant, just not the reality of how it made me feel in the first few months. I guess it's the difference between thinking and feeling.

I really hope I've not offended anyone. I'm just trying to be open about my own (admittedly very personal) experiences. Everyone feels differently of course, and that's how it should be.

moneypuddle

I think you've worded things exactly right fluffnutter. THAT IS HOW I FEEL! And I think your theory is correct. Hormones are just so all over the place at the minute but you've put my mind at ease

I do find as well that I just cant concentrate on things at the minute. I get so easily distracted and make silly little mistakes at work (that thankfully have been ok so far) but I am never normally like that!

fluffnutter

moneypuddle wrote: »

I do find as well that I just cant concentrate on things at the minute. I get so easily distracted and make silly little mistakes at work (that thankfully have been ok so far) but I am never normally like that!

God, ain't that the truth! I couldn't settle to anything in the first few weeks. I couldn't even finish a sentence in the newspaper! Your concentration will come back soon, promise. The weird restlessness doesn't even last the whole of the first trimester - it's one of the more fleeting symptoms I found. (Unlike the morning sickness that's still there occasionally, even at 21 weeks ).

moneypuddle

Ooooh hur-bloody-rah!! The sickness is chronic for me today. Ginger biscuits for tea!

Triangle

moneypuddle wrote: »

I think part of the problem is not wanting to offend anyone. We did plan our pregnancy and were super lucky to have fallen pregnant within days of trying and I think its just come as such a shock to me, almost as though we weren't trying at all. I then feel so bad to all the ladies who have been trying for months/years. I feel ungrateful and as though I am being a complete b*tch!

MSE is amazing :smileyhea - people here are so lovely!

Nothing to add to the wonderful advice already given (esp by fluffnutter) other than I felt excatly the same as the above. I had all these fears and felt like somehow I didn't have a right to the fears because I had been so lucky. But I think its true that it's always be a shock no matter how long you've been trying - the important thing is not to feel guilty about having these worries which are so (reassuringly) common.

Lots of love
T
xxx

Maddie_S_2

Hi ladies, i've been reading the recent discussion and its been really helpful as I've been having a lot of the same worries. I think the overwhelming ones for me are financial at the moment. My OH just doesn't seem to understand that he needs to rein in his spending or we're going to seriously struggle when I'm off work. I'm hoping it kicks in when we have the scan next week and he realises that it's real.

I'm also having massively irrational fears that something is wrong due to my lack of symptoms. I'm sure that those of you who are suffering horribly just want to swear at the computer right now but I've had no sickness at all, I'm not feeling particularly tired and my boobs have mostly stopped hurting now and haven't seen about week 5/6. I keep telling myself that i should be grateful but I'm terrified that something is wrong and that's why I've not got any symptoms. Please, someone reassure me! (can you tell that this is my first? )

Metranil_Vavin

Maddie I had no symptoms at all and didn't feel my baby kick until about 32 weeks.

I worried the whole time.

I gave birth to the healthiest of boys. Try not to worry.

mishkanorman

And on the flipside Maddie, my last pregnancy had abnormalities and yet I had every symptom going - including very strong morning sickness which everyone will tell you is a sign of a healthy pregnancy

Best thing for you and baby is no stress, its hard to do but there are no magic shortcuts or answers for any of us im afraid !