MSE Pregnancy Club 21

hitchins

Rockinbikergal wrote: »

if they are really being tetchy about the whole thing they can make him take it from your due date but if they are a nice bunch to work for then they will let him take it when bump arrives....my hubby's work is being flexible in that way but I know some places that aren't flexible at all....it's maybe something he should check with his HR dept if they have one xxxxx

According to that link there seems to be "ordinary" PL and "company". If he falls under "ordinary" it says this - Your Ordinary Paternity Leave can start on any day of the week (but not before the baby is born).

GarnetLady

Hmm, it's all a bit hazy. I have a print out of the companys info on it and it's no clearer. However it sys this on the form that he's supposed to fill out -

You cannot start your ordinary paternity leave before the child is born.

Hmmm.

SusanC_2

Rockinbikergal wrote: »

Can we just drop the whole mentioning of groups etc as it's really starting to grind on me and I will end up leaving everything and just forgetting about getting advice from everywhere....I'm getting really annoyed that it seems to have been dropped then someone else drags it up.......there has been enough bad feeling in the threads...can we please just leave it now??? Sorry but I am preggers and hormonal and don't want to be stressing about who or what has annoyed who or what!!!! thank you xxx

Sorry - I only commented to correct factual information. I understand that people are upset and see no reason to start debating the rights/wrongs of what happened. However, because someone said they were upset by a specific thing which did not actually happen I felt I had a duty to correct that misinformation. If somebody knew I was upset about something untrue due to a misunderstanding I hope they would tell me rather than leave me upset and believing something untrue. And maybe this is selfish but if people believe bad things about me which are untrue then I find it hard to not deny them - I don't mind other people's opinions of things I've done but I do mind if people think I've done something I haven't done IYSWIM.

Rockinbikergal

dustystar02 wrote: »

thanks for the replies ladies, I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling this way.
My mum thinks it's very odd that I don't love the baby already. I would be devastated if anything went wrong now but i still dont feel I love it.

The people who talk about this rush of love are already mummies and so I do not know what to expect. I also know that not everyone gets this 'rush' and so am preparing myself for this.

I'm hoping the love will evolve over time (trippy man )

Ema - brill birth plan, I'm not making one officially but it would be good to jot a few things down for OH if nothing else so I think I will steal yours if that's ok?
Obviously we want and don't want the exact same things :rotfl:

Question?
I told OH this morning that i'm going to do my hospital bag this week and he said 'oh yeah, you need to give me a list of things to do too, but not jobs in the house' (he already has that list ) and I was like 'yes ok' but now I'm wondering what I need him to do.

I thought fitting the car seat was one but I'll have to do that as he doesn't drive, all the DIY jobs in the house I mither him about but he says he'll do them anyway, I will pack a few bits for him in my hospital bag, he has warned his work of my due date...........is there anything else I need him to do?

although he doesn't drive he can still fit the car seat and that will at least help him know how it fits when you bring bubs out of the hospital as you won't be carrying the car seat lol xxxx

ema_o

:rotfl::rotfl: at twinny wanting the same things as me

Glad it looks like it'll be okay, only thing I'm not sure about is its a bit long, don't want them to miss anything! I fully expect OH to print it on a huge laminated poster :rotfl: so they'll struggle not to notice it!

Apricot, I have been the same for months, until now have just had a few things in my head, but it all seems a bit imminent for me now so wanted to discuss with MW sooner rather than later!

Dusty, in terms of things for OH, practicing fitting the car seat might be a good one so you aren't struggling to fit it when leaving hospital. My OH is getting an additional list of things to grab on the way out the door (bigger sized nappies into boot, food for him, everything I've not yet packed ). I'm also telling him things I'll need from him in labour, mainly standing up for everything I've put in my plan / helping me make a rational decision if anything can't be done etc.

at the thought of work specifying OH's paternity leave dates. Surely it's not in their interest, eg if you go into labour before or after the time they've allocated he won't be going in anyhow?

Xxx

dustystar02

Good point RBG, although i'm not sure if I'd feel safer having a professional fitting the car seat IYSWIM. Is it cheeky to ask someone at Halfords to fit it when we didn't get it from there? Would they?

annibee

ladies - Oh has his interview on weds.....should he mention that im due to have baby or just leave it do you reckon? I dont know if you can have pat leave if only just started there but I really want him home with me for the birth and few days after

dustystar02

My OH has told his boss my due date and said he'll ring him when I go into hospital. I fully expect to have to call OH from work though when it kicks off and I need him so I guess his paternity leave will start from then?
He is only taking a week anyway, taking the 2nd week a month later
They are really flexible with him so I hope if I call him out and the baby doesnt arrive for another day or so they'll let him off. Ideally round it upto a weekend.

mrsspendalot

annibee wrote: »

ladies - Oh has his interview on weds.....should he mention that im due to have baby or just leave it do you reckon? I dont know if you can have pat leave if only just started there but I really want him home with me for the birth and few days after

When my #2 baby was due, my husband started his job 2 weeks before my due date. He mentioned the impending birth at interview and it was no problem. He still got paternity leave too x

dustystar02

annibee - there is no need for him to bring it up at the interview. wait and see if he gets the job first. Then if he does he can mention it on his first day. It would be differnt if it was you going for the job but as he'd only be expecting a couple of weeks off I wouldn't see them being that bothered. It is only like if you had a holiday bookedd........oh I need a holiday