MSE Pregnancy Club 21

mrsspendalot

Evening all .... my word it's been busy

I'm not going to comment on PPs specific circumstances or any of the other posts because I'm not wishing to add fuel to the fire ....

BUT I really struggled with DS1. From being 9 months old he was such hard work. I couldn't put my finger on it at the time, but there was definitely something 'different' in his behaviour compared to DD previously at the same age. By the time he hit 18 months he was getting worse. HV put it down to terrible twos. I trundled on. By the age of 2 he was awful. He had a terrible temper, and threw tantrums like you wouldn't believe. I tried everything, but nothing worked. My Mum couldn't believe what he was like. When he tantrumed he seemed to gain this super-strength from somewhere and nothing could restrain him. It was almost like he was possessed. I once had to block myself into a room to stop him getting to me, just so I could calm myself down and think how to deal with his tantrum. I lost count of the bruises up and down my legs from where he kicked me repeatedly trying to carry him up to bed. I would go to kiss him goodnight, and he would headbut me and split my lip. I had a really miserable time with him. I was very very upset that my little boy behaved in this awful way towards me. My DD missed out on loads of attention because he took up so much of it. He too would destroy anything she did or made, and I was always so concerned about him 'kicking off' that I would stop her doing things that I knew would set him off, just because I didn't have the emotional or physical strength to deal with him sometimes. I did sit a couple of times and think to myself how much more of it I could put up with before I would need to take him to see someone and get some professional help. It was heartbreaking because all I wanted was for my little boy to love me like I loved him, and I felt like he hated me.

Luckily, my son was well behaved at nursery school and around other children, so I never had to worry about him in that sense. It was just at home, which made me even more upset as I thought it was something I was doing wrong. In the end, I discussed his behaviour online with a group of other mums I was studying my degree with. Someone mentioned looking at his diet etc. Now whether it was coincidence or not, cutting out certain additives and preservatives did change his behaviour, almost within a week. It was like a miracle! Around this time I had DS2 and my only worry when he came out a boy was that I would have a repeat performance of his older brother.

Then when DS1 started school at 4 (August birthday, so very young in the year) and he improved even more. Fortunately, that was that and he is now an adorable little boy, very bright, and I can smile again and enjoy being his Mum. But just for that brief spell between 18 months and 4 years old, I really really struggled with him and I found it very hard to like him (I loved him because he was my son, naturally). I actually put down a lot of his bad behaviour to being bored at home, because since he started school he has been amazing. He is actually very very bright for his age - probably bordering on 'gifted' looking at his SAT grades from last year. His teachers have said on many occasions that they struggle to know what to do with him as he knows more about certain topics than they do (astronomy is one of his interests, for example). I think now that I just didn't understand how to challenge him in the right ways.

I guess what I am trying to say is that sometimes children can really really push you to the very limit of your ability as a parent, and not because of anything you necessarily do wrong. I only had DD and DS2 at the time he was at his worst, and was a SAHM. DD was at school so he had one on one attention from me, and was still like that.

Pixiepops

pigpen wrote: »

My GP refused to give me contraception back in December.. and I was refused a termination with this one, I was going to go ahead with one without even telling OH about the pregnancy.. so unless I miscarry I am stuck with it.. given what some of you have gone through to get pregnant in the first place I felt it best to keep that to myself.. but seeing as you asked.

You seem like you made a fair attempt at avoiding this pregnancy by requesting contraception and a termination. May I ask a question: Why not use a condom?

madnessandmayhem

mrsspendalot how are BBM and little Alfred doing??

mrsspendalot

madnessandmayhem wrote: »

mrsspendalot how are BBM and little Alfred doing??

Not too well

He has lost more weight when he needed to gain some, so he has to have some tests before they make a decision about heart surgery. Poor BBM is trying so hard to hold it together, but she is terrified. I can't get her out of my mind today as I am the same stage of pregnancy today as she was when he was born

She is asking everyone to pray for a miracle, so if you are inclined to pray, please say an extra one for her and her family right now as what they must be going through is awful

Doglover

Cheers nic and cutterby. Yes we are hoping to find out the flavour but we'll see if s/he cooperates?! The old age question - full bladder or not?

madnessandmayhem

mrsspendalot wrote: »

Not too well

He has lost more weight when he needed to gain some, so he has to have some tests before they make a decision about heart surgery. Poor BBM is trying so hard to hold it together, but she is terrified. I can't get her out of my mind today as I am the same stage of pregnancy today as she was when he was born

She is asking everyone to pray for a miracle, so if you are inclined to pray, please say an extra one for her and her family right now as what they must be going through is awful

I have been thinking of them, and praying for the little man to keep fighting and battling, especially after what she went through at the start of her pregnancy xx i'm sending lots and lots of loving, hugging thoughts their way xx

wendz86

Thinking of BBM and Alfred x

Doglover - i had a full bladder before scan as requested and then they forgot about me and was left waiting for an hour and by the time they remembered me I was desperate so had to go. Meant they had to push a bit harder and pictures weren't as good but they did give me pic free as they forgot me!

mrsspendalot

madnessandmayhem wrote: »

I have been thinking of them, and praying for the little man to keep fighting and battling, especially after what she went through at the start of her pregnancy xx i'm sending lots and lots of loving, hugging thoughts their way xx

I know, it seems so cruel .... she's being so brave xxxx

madnessandmayhem

Doglover wrote: »

Cheers nic and cutterby. Yes we are hoping to find out the flavour but we'll see if s/he cooperates?! The old age question - full bladder or not?

My bladder was so full I had been on the couch literally 20 secs and i had to get her to stop so i could go and partially empty it-was impressed with my pelvic floor though as i did manage to stop after only half going lol:rotfl: and when i went back she said it was still really full.
i would say go with a full (ish) bladder-better to be too full and have to empty a bit than not full enough to do scan properly!

Doglover

Ooo and thanks Wendz