determined to be debtfree!

Alice_in_Poorland

Step away from the nail gun

My DS2 has had lots of problems with his ears and infections and has had a perforated ear drum quite a few times so I sympathise with you. I know how many sleepless nights we've had waiting for painkillers etc to work.

You have been very busy over the last few days, can you take a few hours out to sit and chill, maybe the kids will watch a movie. Housework can wait. xx

debtfreewannabe321

well I'm sat down now so will have a little relax time

We spent the afternoon out having a walk with the kids on bikes. By we i mean me & the two little ones, a friend and her daughter. WHAT a nightmare!!! DS2 decided he didn't want to ride his bike (he pedals backward anyway so whatever) so i let him take the scooter. he decided he didn't like that too 1 and half miles from home. Friends daughter decided she didn't like riding her bike too & dd was quite happy until on the way back when her knees hurt :wall:so i ended up for most of the 3 mile walk carrying one toddler, 1 scooter and pushing dd on her bike :doh: friend ended up riding daughters bike (her daughter is 7 ....:cool: bike not exactly huge :rotfl:) OMG we looked like a right pair of pratts :eek:!!!

Picnic on the carpet for dinner! pizza & salads (fruit & normal ones) so at least no battle with that kids love salad & fruit

Not really sure this is highly appropriate for a MSE diary but i'm going to be honest with you lot now and hope for a bit of support/advice/whatever...and i've asked dh to move out. For definite this time. Nothing has changed. . I don't know what else to do. he's not happy neither am I and i feel we should seperate which will either be the make or break by the looks of it. I've even been on rightmove looking for houses to rent to see how much i might need to save . I really don't want to do this to the kids but i can't stay another 15 years in this relationship as it is. I've only told one friend, hmm no make that 2. But only one that is around here (earlier on our walk) ...dh has agreed this time to go. If it is the end, i don't know what will happen with ref to the debt. I guess we will just split it and i'll take mine and he can take his. I really don't want to end up on income support on a council estate (again like the first time we split) but i think i would rather that than be unhappy. Or am i being my usual self and jumping before i look?? Out of the frying pan into the fire???? Ahh i don't know but i don't really feel sad. I feel kind of relieved, apart from the kids . Sorry completely brought down the tone of the diary -i'm good at doing that lol- but needed someone/somewhere to get it off my chest thanks for listening xx

mandz1

Sorry to hear about your relationship DFW, but to me it does seem like maybe it has run its course. It is all about how you feel, you cant stay with someone just for the sake of the kids, i know that i have experiance of trying to stay with someone for the kids.

A for housing, i dont know exactly where you live, but to be honest council housing really isnt that bad, its affordable, there is no extra strict rules like there is in private renting eg decorating, and it is avaliable long term unlike private which is based on 6/12 month tenency etc, plus a private landlord can decide to sell at any time and that would be extra stress. but like i said, it depends where you live and how nice the houses are.

If neither of you are happy, then maybe space would do you some good if the feelings are still there and things could change, or you may have made the right decision now.

Its all on how you feel and all of your MSE friends will support you all the way no matter what you do.

Get some rest and a good nights sleep, things may look clearer when you arent stressed, ill etc

BlushingRose

debtfreewannabe321 wrote: »

Not really sure this is highly appropriate for a MSE diary but i'm going to be honest with you lot now and hope for a bit of support/advice/whatever...and i've asked dh to move out. For definite this time. Nothing has changed. . I don't know what else to do. he's not happy neither am I and i feel we should seperate which will either be the make or break by the looks of it. I've even been on rightmove looking for houses to rent to see how much i might need to save . I really don't want to do this to the kids but i can't stay another 15 years in this relationship as it is. I've only told one friend, hmm no make that 2. But only one that is around here (earlier on our walk) ...dh has agreed this time to go. If it is the end, i don't know what will happen with ref to the debt. I guess we will just split it and i'll take mine and he can take his. I really don't want to end up on income support on a council estate (again like the first time we split) but i think i would rather that than be unhappy. Or am i being my usual self and jumping before i look?? Out of the frying pan into the fire???? Ahh i don't know but i don't really feel sad. I feel kind of relieved, apart from the kids . Sorry completely brought down the tone of the diary -i'm good at doing that lol- but needed someone/somewhere to get it off my chest thanks for listening xx

I think a diary is for whatever you want it to be, it's a blog about what's going on in your life and how it effects you.

I'm so sorry to hear that things have got as bad as they have, although I think you're doing the right thing as you have your children to consider.
This could be the shock that he needs as well to make him realise what he wants in life.
I think that fact that you don't feel sad but you feel relieved should tell you everything you need to know *hugs*

slm6002

Well done in making the first step. I cant say what is right or wrong for you but others here have said we are here for you and you both need to be happy with whatever you choose.

With the house situation could you not move into your house you rent? Not the same area but at least its yours. If all that fails 2 houses near me are up for sale. Sell yours and move next to me! i need a nice neighbours

We will all help you through this time though so big hugs

debtfreewannabe321

thank you mandz, BR & slm i've thought about where to move to, i have 3 months in the army house for free (well dh has to pay for it still) because the army hope you will sort your differences out. All i want is a happy family, dh is so unhappy it is unreal. so unless he sorts himself out it is over. . My house that i rent out is in Wales and i live in Essex where dh works....i think that would be just cruel to move there away from kids daddy whilst things will still be so raw. I've thought about returning to the east midlands where i grew up. It's half the price to rent up there and my sister lives there & so does my best friend...but still wouldn't be round the corner for the kids (prob a 2 hour drive if traffic good) so i'm confused as to what to do. But the fact i've given it so much consideration i think proves how serious i am. I've also thought about moving to the midlands if my dad will give me a job....not really the area i want to work in but it's a job and probably flexible hours too for me. hmmm. anyway i've asked him if he will stay until ds1 goes back to school. he thinks i mean stay and 'try' but we've already done this and it didn't work. I just didn't want ds1 going back to school upset. He's home today but won't want to talk to me about it. His method of coping is avoidance. Pure & simple.

Today i'm cleaning half to take my mind off things and half to be able to see the carpet! DH didn't want to clean up after 'me' because it's not his job *sigh* like i get all the lego, trains, fairy's and barbies out to play with. Ack, anyway i'm going to try and do this as amicably as possible that means no b1tching from me. Yes dh has his faults, for all of them I do still love him. I just can't live with him. I have my faults too so it's not really fair to publically air his

I'm also waiting for my last bit of flat pack furniture to arrive, seller promised it would be today, we'll see! It's the perfect size for my wardrobe....same as curtains were perfect size for these windows.............oh boy i may have wasted a lot of money if i have to move and start all over again :eek: !

debtfreewannabe321

Well i seem to have scared everyone off please come back :rotfl:

I've had a nice pleasant day today, i've scrubbed the kitchen clean, including mopping the floor 3x :eek::mad:! But it's all sparkly now :T and have a gammon roast in the oven :T (reduced the other day ) will make mash & veg for it in a bit.

A NSD here :T i think i also have one from yesterday to add too.

My house smells lovely. I treated myself to some of those air freshners with sticks and balls (hmm actually that sounds a bit rude...hope you know what i mean :rotfl:)and i have one in the bath room (£1.50 reduced) and i have a plug in one with 3 fragrances in the living room. it goes off every 45 mins and is lush (£3 reduced from £7:eek:).

Does anyone know how to get iron burns off a carpet whilst i'm on the subject of cleaning. And for that matter carpet off an iron :rolls eyes: ds2 decided it was a good idea to climb up on our kitchen side and on to the fridge freezer to get our iron and the plug it in and iron the floor. (i was in garden for literally mins getting the mop bucket & mop) Thankfully no burns to him someone must have been watching over him!!

I also had a friend pop round unexpectedly so that was nice and broke the day up a little bit

need to check online bank but i may just do that tomorrow really not in mood now esp if it is bad

Whilst writing this a poor delivery driver of around 60 yrs old just carried in my cupboard for my room 40KG with a huge sign on that says 2 men to carry it. Poor man. I offered to help but he wouldn't let me !!! So i have my cupboard :j but still have to put it together now...think that is a job for this evening!

Nearly caught up on washing but have had to use tumble drier as it's been raining on and off all day now.

hubby is home at 6pm tonight or thereabouts. He will be coming back to a clean house & dinner. Just want him to know what he will be missing out on. will give him something to think over whilst he is in the blocks :rotfl: is that really cruel :eek:??!

anyway off to catch up on everyone else be back later to let you know how frustrating the chest of drawers is to put together :rotfl:

debtfreewannabe321

Oh and i also had a phone call from a survey company they are sending me a sample of some curry sauce and all i have to do is tell them what i think of it in a few weeks seemed fair to me

slm6002

i am still here Glad your delivery has arrived at last

debtfreewannabe321

hey slm glad to see someone is here with me i'm glad the drawers are here just not looking forward to putting them together :eek:! may have to bribe ds to help me i hate reading instructions and always try to do it without then wonder why i have a chair instead of a table