determined to be debtfree!

hillside777

Thanks DFW. You're a star and an angel.:grouphug:

abba1772

hi dfw :wave: just read three pages of you're diary where i left off......do you ever stop lol

sorry about the car fiasco what a shocker !!!!!!

promise i will makle more of a effort to post more.......DP will not be distracting me now lol

slm6002

Hi i am still here too and have been reading, just so busy. Like everyone i am shocked about the car but you will bounce back i am sure of that

Head up and know we are all here when you need us. Another one here with kids that answer back and dont listen to me x

PinotGrigio41

Can't believe you have been so busy, you must be exhausted. I'm hoping mr dfws month away will fly by in a flash for you. Know exactly what you mean by finding the evenings and weekends hardest , especially when everyone else has their hubby around. I remember going through a phase of refusing to go anywhere I thought families would be to stop myself feeling upset. Didn't do me or the girls much good, as I think I became a bit reclusive, all in the past now though.:)

Can't offer you much advice with ds and the texts really. I do check dd1 phone and Facebook and she is fully aware that I do. I dont do it every day but if I think something's bothering her I take a quick look. Asking lots of girls out seems to be quite typical for a 12 year old boy from what I have heard from my daughter. She is 13 and is constantly being asked out. I think there is far more pressure these days to have a boyfriend/ girlfriend at a young age than when I was a whipper snapper.

debtfreewannabe321

Bah! I can't sleep think i am going to have to change the time i take my tablets to morning again!

I've spoken to son1 this evening and yet again he was crying it just made my heart drop to hear him ..... he still insists he doesn't want to leave the school. I think he is just saying that because he is scared of change & he also thinks me & hubby want him to stay there. I've emailed a load more schools tonight. I'm desperate to get him into a happier school *and him into a happier 'place'* I pray that one of them will have a space for him.

I think he has to stay at his school until july though as otherwise we may have to pay back all the money we have had towards the bursary BUT i'm sure ds wouldn't mind too much if he knew he had an escape route! I hope i'm making the right decision here, I honestly can't take much more of the crying. It takes me straight back to when i was at boarding school, crying, like him to go home. I feel like a complete failure for sending him and really wish i hadn't now

Sorry depressing post, feels better to get it out though

PinotGrigio41

I'm sorry you are both so sad and upset. You appear to be doing everything you can to listen to him and resolve the school situation. The decisions you made initially re his school obviously seemed the best decisions at the time, you had no way of knowing he would be unhappy. As parents we just want to make everything ok for them and we will do anything to ensure they are as happy as they possibly can be. It breaks your heart when they cry doesn't it and want to wave that magic wand and make it all go away. I really hope you both feel better in the morning and try and get some rest if you can x

PinotGrigio41

Just dropping by this morning to see how you are ?x

debtfreewannabe321

Thank you pinot :grouphug:

Well today i've been to aldi, spent £23.65 on weekly shop & then went to te$co as their petrol is cheapest and spent £15.01.

Got home made shepherd's pie & 2 portions of spag bol for the week. Dontcha love mince when poor huh :cool:

THEN i spent around 2 hours calling/emailing schools in the area. The only 2 that would entertain the idea of ds1 joining them were ones (which i've just found out) which have 3's and 4's splashed all over their ofsted reports i really honestly do not know what to do.

I emailed his school and they have said he has to stay until summer term now (so july) as otherwise i have to pay the full bill myself (£3.5k + ) which isn't really an option given our circumstances. My father has offered once before to foot the bill but i really don't want to rely on him, and i don't want to ask. So i think that our option is to go with one of these schools. Both will be closed by 2015 as they are amalgamating both the schools above plus one more. *sigh* what would you do? Put him in and hope for the best, or try and stick out the boarding until he's 16......which come september is 2 more years at that school. I know exam results are not the be all and end all, but I seriously do not want him throwing everything away what do i do

debtfreewannabe321

Evening!

Well I am waiting for eldest to call me after prep has finished! I emailed / called every school in east anglia earlier (it felt like it anyway :rotfl:) and had some surprisingly frank conversations with some schools :T so i know exactly where i stand. They all tried to fob me off to the council but i kept pestering until they spoke to me & told me a straight yes or no whether they had spaces, and also what the school was like, class sizes, exam results, pastoral care etc etc (i'm sure they love parents like me :rotfl:) and the last lady i spoke to was receptionist at a school on special measures (the one nearest to me) which is the one i initially turned down when he got a place. They seem the only ones that have spaces so at least i know where we stand and we won't be putting a 'blind' admission form in to the council not knowing what we will be given!

So with all this in mind, i am giving ds the final choice of what to do. There are terms & conditions (of course) with each decision. If he stays at boarding school i want him to continue counselling for the foreseeable and also the st john's wort. I also need him to make more of an effort to get involved. If he comes home and goes to the local he will have jobs at home like he does at school. He will also have 'prep' time at home so he won't be allowed out until he's completed everything. He must also be in by dark & is limited to one hour on the ps3/xbox during the week.....can anyone think of anymore !

I've kind of come to terms with the fact he is coming home now and am happy about it i miss him loads when he is away. He's not a silly stupid boy so i know he can do well whereever he goes. If he chooses to stay where he is then I shall also stand by that decision but i need him to do those few things for me.

So awaiting half 7...........! I've emailed his matron everything, told her that i'm thinking of taking him out and that it will be his decision so i'm hoping they respect that and don't pressurise him (by god if i find out they have they'll be sorry if there is one thing i am, it's protective of my kiddies )

So not much else to report today.........oh apart from the fact i went to see a friend. She invited me over as she could see i was worried/upset / stressed etc and when i got there all she did was talk about herself. It kind of makes me wonder if i actually have any real friends. The amount of times i have sat there and listened to peoples woes and i get nothing in return- not even a thank you bah!

Bath for me, chat with son, meditation & bed! Need to catch up on sleep :rotfl:

PinotGrigio41

Evening, after reading your post earlier today I didnt have time to answer you, but what I was going to say was that I am a big believer that if a child is and wants to do well, they will do so regardless of the school. If your son is happier in the environment he is learning / living in, then that should also have a big impact on his education. I was adamant I didnt want DD1 to go to our local comp ( although its actually very high achieving) but being on our doorstep there were many aspects of it that I didnt like, but its where she has ended up. She is in Year 9, absolutely loves it, is so happy and doing brilliantly. If there is a problem I am onto them like a rash, I'm sure I am often the talk of the staff room, but at the end of the day its their future.

I bet you really miss him, so maybe it will actually do you all good if he does come home. I agree that he should continue to do jobs and that there are boundarys, must admit its something I am struggling a little with with my eldest ! Boundaries ! Think she has very selective hearing where they are concerned. I really do hope you come to some resolution this evening.

In terms of your friend, how frustrating for you. Im sure you really do have some real friends, but as I know to my detriment, there are also plenty of hangers on out there, who have no interest in anyone but themselves. They are so happy to let you listen to their problems but never even utter so much as a "How are you?" in return. When I questioned a "Friend" about that once, her answer was " but you are always ok, so why should we even bother asking you ? " Im obviously a pretty good actress, missed my calling in life I think. Im sure you will find loads of us on here though that are more than happy to listen at all hours of the day and night.

Anyway once more I am rambling for England. I really do hope you have a better evening x