Toddler Toilet Training help! (merged)

angeluk69_2

First thing...STOP, BREATHE AND RELAX

I tried potty training my DS when I was pregnant with DD and I was like 'well I have to get it done before baby comes along', I tried getting the nursery to help me (don't get me started on their attitude, I went to pick DS up and he was sat in his own wee...nice!), my mum tried,well everyone was pushing and pushing, and nothing was happening.

DS was 3 at the time, and still in nappies, and it didn;t help that everyone says to you 'Oh, is s/he still in nappies, isn't it time s/he was trained?'

Still no sign of being dry even at nearly 4, then all of a sudden he was dry both during the day and at night.

Now I am going thru it all again with DS, but she is 2 so I now know what to 'look for' and have already had the discussion of 'Big girls use the potty and pants.' And she seems fine.

Just remember, he won't be in nappies when he's 18 cos that just wouldn't be cool.
Let him take it at his own pace, and you will get there.
Don't focus on the fact that he's 3 and 'should' be out of nappes.
They do sort themselves eventually, and when they do you will wonder what all the fuss was about.

Do yourself a favour and put that book in the bin, this is the tactic used to make mothers feel like !!!!!!.

Good Luck with it

rainbowrisin

I think he's doing really well to indicate that he needs the potty (the crotch grabbing), even if he's not actually asking for it. Lots of little ones don't ask for things like drinks, food, toilet etc for a while. It's quite a complex concept to ask for a receptacle for wee, when there isn't a physical need for one (although obviously there's a social need:eek: )

I suggest that whenever he gives obvious physical signs of needing the potty then just prompt him - eventually he'll get the hang of it.

Just chill, honestly. Lots of children aren't fully potty trained til 4 or 5, it's just you only ever hear about the ones that were bone dry from 18 months or something ridiculous.

Don't read the books! The books are horrific IMHO. Just take it as it comes and don't stress. He's doing fine - if you show any sign of stress he will latch on to it and the potty will become an issue.

He's obviously got the hang of the basics, and the rest will come in time.

rainbowrisin

Thinking about this some more, when I was potty training my eldest littlie she went through a stage of not asking for the potty, and actually refusing to use it if i prompted. I used stickers but for some reason they stopped working, so in the end I just left the potty out and didn't discuss potty use at all, but praised her if she used it under her own steam. As soon as I stopped prompting she started using the potty no problem. Maybe that might work?

BernadetteN

Does he really need a potty or have you tried the toilet? Pur 2 boys went straight on the toilet and only our eldest daughter wanted to use a potty but I would have preferred if she had chosen the toilet straightaway (just hated the emptying bit).

I didn't do any potty training at all and the same will happen for my youngest daughter when she is ready. All I did was read the signs and then took them to the toilet/potty and they just did it and after a while they did it themselves.

I'd expect that potty training is an alien thing for children brought up in societies without potties and try to work on just getting in tune with the kids and reading their signals (sounds a bit hippy doesn't it).

fannyadams

That Bloody Gina Ford has A LOT to answer for.
I have one tip for you - chuck the book out or sell it on amazon - there a plenty of other gullible parents willing to buy it (or evil parents in law who want to undermine your ability).
We love - I want my potty! it's a great book and might help.
My nursery was a little reluctant to start my youngest at first, but when I gave them an aiming point - August BH w/e coz we were going away and I didn't want the hassle of nappies - they were more than willing to oblige. FWIW it took us about 6 weeks, he still has accidents (mainly pooh), and I wouldn't say hand on my heart, that he is really truly trained yet.
Just stick at it and BE CONSISTENT use the same words EVERY TIME and Praise Praise Praise - tell everyone - I know sometimes grandma doesn't really need to know that little one had a wee but she should join in with the praise too.
we got a star chart from Huggies or Pampers or something like that - I think this helped and having an older brother also helped.
HTH

essexhoney

fannyadams wrote:

That Bloody Gina Ford has A LOT to answer for.
I have one tip for you - chuck the book out or sell it on amazon - there a plenty of other gullible parents willing to buy it (or evil parents in law who want to undermine your ability).

Couldnt agree with that more :T

One thing i will say is your DS will do it when he is ready and not before i went through the same thing with my DS at around the same time and found the more i encouraged him the less he would do it much to my frustration :rotfl:
My DD1 is 18months old and as much as i would love her out of nappies and have everyone telling me that she is ready to be potty trained i dont think she is at all
I bought a potty for her a couple of months ago and left it where she could see it just to get her used to the idea she is now quite happy to sit on it with clothes and nappy on but take them away and she wont go anywhere near it :rolleyes:

But i would most definatly bin that book

HappySad

I have found the book helpful in the preparation stage and also in the no nappies first 2weeks of my potty training. I must admit the "week" time frame made me think that it could be done quite quickly.. but in my mind I knew that a week was only for those very few children... I was expecting that 1 1/2 months would be fine.. during the summer.

charting has greatly helped us to work out roughly when he needs to go and to identify patterns.

My son has no problem asking very polity for what he wants. If he want to watch a video then he will pick it up, walk over and ask with a "please" if he can watch the video.

Instead of stickers I throw him up in the air when ever he wees and poos in the potty. He really loves this & I now only do this when he wees/poos in the potty.

His potty is in the main living room and also upstairs. He can choose which potty he wants to sit on. In morning he love to sit on the downstairs one while I prepare breakfast & he watchs TV. Upstairs he love to sit on it as we play "make believe" which imaginage charachers while I sit on the toilet also.

When asked if he wants to use the toilet he will say "no" and that he wants to use the potty instead.

"I suggest that whenever he gives obvious physical signs of needing the potty then just prompt him - eventually he'll get the hang of it.
" From this I can see that eventually he will learn but I would just want him to learn this faster for my own convience. I will purpose that I will have to ease up on my own expectation on him being fully trained by start of nursery and just prompt/praise until he eventually gets it....

""Just chill, honestly. Lots of children aren't fully potty trained til 4 or 5, it's just you only ever hear about the ones that were bone dry from 18 months or something ridiculous.

Don't read the books! The books are horrific IMHO. Just take it as it comes and don't stress. He's doing fine - if you show any sign of stress he will latch on to it and the potty will become an issue.

He's obviously got the hang of the basics, and the rest will come in time.""

I WILL ease up on my schedule with this training...
Thanks everyone

HappySad

rainbowrisin wrote:

Thinking about this some more, when I was potty training my eldest littlie she went through a stage of not asking for the potty, and actually refusing to use it if i prompted. I used stickers but for some reason they stopped working, so in the end I just left the potty out and didn't discuss potty use at all, but praised her if she used it under her own steam. As soon as I stopped prompting she started using the potty no problem. Maybe that might work?

What did you do when he weed and pooed herself? Did you just leave her to wee and poo herself without any prompting at all?

Mrs_pbradley936

Check out this site https://www.drphil.com and do a search on potty training. Dr Phillip McGraw is a family/relationship expert. He suggests getting a doll that can wet and... well go and read what it says and see if you want to try it.

janeawej

Angeluk69 is right --"Just remember, he won't be in nappies when he's 18 cos that just wouldn't be cool." with some especialy boys it can take longer than others but one day IT WILL CLICK and you will never look back:beer: