Toddler Toilet Training help! (merged)

bigmuffins

Just a thought - may be leave a potty there where he likes to pee and he can use that instead of the floor!
My DD's were fairly straightforward to toilet train although DD1 refused to do a poo in the loo or potty for a couple of months - would tell me she needed a nappy and only do it in nappy! Otherwise would hang on until I gave in and got her a nappy. Luckily one day I was busy in garden and hands/shoes all muddy when she desperately needed to go. I asked her to go upstairs and sit on loo and I would come as soon as I had washed hands and taken off shoes. She did (!!) and by the time I made it upstairs, she had had to do it in loo!! I praised her and made a big fuss of her and since then no probs!

£Ronnie

My daughter has recently started doing the same and I have gone back to a sticker chart which seems to have worked.
If you think about it, when they start training we sing dance clap kiss fuss etc etc and generally make a big thing out of using the loo. Then once we know they can do it we make little comment on it.
If you were at work and got no recognition for something would you bother doing it??

Going back to the reward chart has definetly helped us but I dont know how long we are going to have to keep it up? Until a new skill becomes the centre of attention maybe?

HTH
Ronnie

chewy62

Thanks £Ronnie, that makes sense as I remember all the stickers and hugs each time he went to the loo, and now ~I suppose I forget about that. I tried that yesterday and made a big fuss when he did anything on the loo!

Savvy_Sue

chewy62 wrote:

Thanks Savvy Sue! I'm not sure what the right approach is, as the health visitor said not to make a big deal of it and just clean it up and say nothing, which I find very hard to do!! :mad:
The fact that he smiles when he has done it really gets me cross, and I know that he is perfectly capable of going to the toilet! :mad:
Well, I'll keep trying!

That's why I said I knew what I'd done went against what the 'professional' advice would be. But the professionals don't have your son. I DO agree that ignoring bad behaviour and 'rewarding' good behaviour is sensible, but in my experience and with my sons it didn't always work. As long as it was 'no big deal' if my son pooed in his pants, he was prepared to carry on doing it. If it was something you could completely ignore, like a whinging whiny 'Muuuummy' every 2 seconds, or asking for things without saying 'please', fair enough. But you HAVE to change him, and you have to clear up the mess afterwards. You can certainly do it in a matter-of-fact, "isn't that a shame" kind of way, but TBH if there's no other 'consequence' then it won't get through to all children.

We didn't have TV when mine were being potty trained, but I do think we might have found quite often that there wasn't time for that Pingu video before lunch now we've got to clear this mess up ... or that kind of thing. Only once I was sure there was a deliberate act, btw, I don't want anyone to think I was completely cruel and unreasonable! I know my sons think I am, but honest, I'm not! :rotfl:

MrX

If you are sure that your child is just being naughty and has no physical or emotional problems then do what I do when my kids went through that 'testing you' age....

Pick a nice calm moment and watch Chitty Chitty Bang Bang with them...from then on whenever they start to really misbehave threaten to call the Child Catcher. Pretending to speak to him on the phone works a treat. I only ever had to do it twice. Now they are perfect angels.

I told my brother-in-law about it. His son was writing on walls for attention. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang > more writing on the wall > pretend phone call > 15 mins of tears and promising not to do it again > a phone to cancel the child catcher > no more writing on walls.

Obviously you only use it for the really bad things like your specific problem and not when they wont eat their dinner.

I think it also says that you are not the bad guy, the child catcher is but you cannot help them so you have to see if the child catcher can.

chewy62

Thanks SavvySue! Me and hubby find it impossible to not shout at him when he does it cos he smiles and yesterday he said "I'm gonna do a pee pee on the carpet" with a sneaky smile on his face, and proceeded do then do it!!! :mad:
The thing is that I know he knows exactly where to go and what to do and surely you don't just forget that!!?
Hubby is gonna try today with him as I am working and maybe he will make more of a difference as he doesn't shout as much as me so it might mean more. Told him there will be no prezzies or eggs tomorrow if anything happens on the floor today.
MX, good idea about the child catcher, I still have nightmares about him myself!!!! :eek:
Thanks for all your help! Health visitors are very nice but sometimes it is better to speak to Mums who have gone through the same thing.Cheers! :j

conradmum

Hey, here's a thought. How about a reward for him when he uses the toilet and a reward for you when he doesn't?
"Oh, you've peed on the carpet, hooray! A chocolate for mummy then!"
That should seriously mess with his mind!

£Ronnie

OOOOhhhhhhh, how cruel......... , but I like it.....:rotfl:

chewy62

Very clever! Anything that means I get chocolate has to be good! Said if he didn't pee on the carpet today, he would get a prezzie, and he didn't so gave him a wee lego van. But while me and hubby were having our tea, he peed in the lounge!AAAAAHHHH!
He still won't go to the loo by himself, and we have to keep putting him on it.

£Ronnie

Have you tried starting a reward chart again?

We did for a few days with great success gradually eased off it and now she seems to have developed an obsession with there not being anything in the loo, eg as soon as you wee she shouts "flush it Mummy flush it," really panicky, the other day one of her friends blew her nose in some tissue and put the tissue down the loo, and my little girl started crying, picked it out :eek: and brought it to me in the lounge before I had a chance to see what the fuss was about! Thankfully the water in the loo was clean at the time. Can't figure it out at all....

Starting another chart tomorrow....