What is the point in my being alive?

puddings_2

Hey, at least youre out of bed now and doing something. small steps, bit by bit is the only way. theres loads of people routing for you, but theres only one that can make you stay sober. glad youre ok anyway

savingwannabe

Hey Sim i see you are up. I am just about to sleep. Been a long day chuck. I will say a prayer for you and i hope you have a good day tomorrow, hugs, SW.

SimIsOnTheUp

Kitty31 wrote: »

Hey,
I'm so sorry you're having major problems and although I cant offer advise about your money issues I didn't want to read and run. There are organisations who you can speak to if your feeling like like you can't go on. Breathing spaces and as the post says above the Samaritans who both have 24 hour helplines. Life can be overwhelming at times but the fact you have posted on here is a really positive step, although we're all strangers it doesn't mean we won't listen and try and help. It may be beneficial for you to visit your GP (I know that might seem like a big step if you've not been out for days but they are best placed to get you the help you need). Hope your ok and please do have a look at the breathing spaces website
Kitty x

Thanks Kitty.

Samaritans isn't for me, and Breathing Spaces is for people based in Scotland (am in UK).

Thank You for the links though.

Need to call my GP tomorrow, if only to get some more beta - blockers for the anxiety (stupidly ran out, and haven't taken any since last Thursday) / possible go back on anti - d's, and maybe some sleeping tablets for a few days.

Sim x

SimIsOnTheUp

determined_new_ms wrote: »

ok just started reading your other thread and have the following suggestion - there is a chance you can get the HB overpayment reversed if you write & appeal the decision, you will need to put in the reasons why you didn't inform them - depression anxiety alcoholism - and here's the key part you have to put in there that "anyone would have behaved the way you did in those given circumstnaces" - i.e cralwed under the duvet and hid from the world. I managed to get someone's HB claim backed 3 months after the cut off date by doing such a letter. hths

Hi Ms. Hope you're well. Thanks so much for this. I spent hours last Thursday night / Friday morning, putting together a letter to my Council. Need to get it sent off tomorrow, with copies of my Payslips and a copy of my WTC letter. May well PM you a copy of my letter for you to have a look at if you wouldn't mind?

also (i work for a HA that's why I keep speaking about it!) they won't evict you if are trying to clear the debts, stay in touch with your HO they will be able to help and will realise that yo're having troubles, and may be able to offer some support around sorting out the right benefits. They won't judge you, don't even worry about that that's the depression x

Thanks for this re the HA. I did call them last Thursday, and they confirmed that the Council have not yet asked them for the £430 overpayment. My arrears were £155, but another £74 was due today, so = £229. Thank goodness I've found some flexible work, which I can do from home on a self - employed basis, and which pays weekly.

Sim x

SimIsOnTheUp

Squirrel29 wrote: »

I second determined. That gripped with panic and fear feeling stops us seeing things clearly. You've got it in one. The overwhelming fear of the unknown has stopped me seeing things with clear eyes. Ring CCCS and get advice. Like Martin says, he's never seen a debt problem that can't be sorted out. Try to get a good nights sleep (I know it's hard), nothing can change tonight. We will be here to support you x

CCCS in on my list for tomorrow.

Thank You Squirrel (I've never thanked a Squirrel before!) Cue nuts jokes.. :rotfl:

I really have to keep pushing forward now, but I know that I'm going to have to get some medical / pharmaceutical help with this

Thanks again x

SimIsOnTheUp

snookey wrote: »

Hi first of all there is always a way forward. Lots of organisations can help its finding the one that suits you.
Type in turn2us for a list of charities that may be able to help. Many will give grants and other help.
Think about places that you have worked as lots of big companies will have funds to help ex employees. Ex service people can get help from ssaffa who will send out a case worker to help you apply to the likes of the army,navy ect.
Never give up as there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

Many Thanks Snookey, for your positivity.

Have checked out turn2us before, and sadly I don't think I'd be eligible for their help.

Will have another look tomorrow.

Thanks again.

SimIsOnTheUp

Puzzcat wrote: »

stay with us SIM some of the experts will be along shortly. My thoughts are with you and as others have previously said.. its only money. stay strong. xxx

Thanks Puzzcat.

I'm really trying to keep my feelings / money seperate, but it's hard isn't it when one feels guilty for how much money / time one has wasted.

My determination is slowly coming back though

xx

SimIsOnTheUp

daveski wrote: »

Stick with it SIM. Life has a canny knack of throwing you a good hand when things seem really rubbish. Just read some of the other replies to your post. I know it is difficult but there are people out there who do actually give a damn.

Cheers Daveski.

These replies have had me welling up on a few occasions now.

I am determined to get this all sorted out.

Thanks for your support.

[Deleted User]

Hi Sim,

Just came across this thread and haven't posted here before, hope you don't mind? Just wanted to say I know how hard it can be to focus on things when you feel swamped by everything and it sometimes feels that even your best efforts don't make much difference, but slowly but surely things do get better. Seems to me from reading this thread you're tackling things and are showing more strength of character than you might think you are at the moment.

When I went through a bad patch sometime back and I found my mind racing and couldn't focus properly on any one thing, everything felt too big and if I started on one thing I'd be thinking about all the others. Then I found that drinking could help stop my mind just racing all the time, but what feels like respite for a short time actually makes the situation worse both in how it feels but how able you are to fix it. I don't know if this is anything like what your going through but if it is then unlikely though it may sound now if you hang in there it will get better.

I really wish I could say something that would help you more. Good thing is everyone is rooting for you on here and you are making positive steps. Don't expect miracles of yourself just stick at it.

SimIsOnTheUp

loislane999 wrote: »

SIm

So sorry to hear of your woes. Life can lead you into the shadows for a while but there is always a light somewhere.

I have been desperately skint and unhappy (depressed) in the past and the Smaritans were a godsend to me (at first it felt like I was giving in by phoning them when in fact I was starting to take control of my life)

http://www.samaritans.org/

Please please ring them, or someone up, and talk, just so that you know someone (even a complete stranger) really cares about you.

Hiya LoisLane.

Great to hear you regained some control back in your life. That must have been a cracking feeling! I don't think Samaritans are for me, but I will be ringing a friend, who's been sober a couple of years. Will get in touch with her later today.


I know you were on a bit of a typing flow and I didnt quite get your personal financial circumstances, is there a crisis loan you could apply for? (maybe another person can clarify on this forum).(did a google on ESA and it came up with European Space Agency!) Can you not apply for JSA? (I KNOW what that is cos I'm on it!) Can I ask what you will be doing self employed?

ESA = Employment and Support Allowance. I was in receipt of this between November 2009 and December 2010 when I was too ill to go back to work during those times. I *could* claim JSA probably, however I'm now eligible for £100 a week in Working Tax Credits four week run on, after losing my job. So, I'll be better off if I do this self - employed work from home, as planned. It's telephone survey work. Flexible hours, and they pay pretty much weekly.


Again, not knowing the circumstances of your lack of family communication - if you DO contact any of them, what's the worst that can happen? You're not going to explode or anything. Sometimes making the first move can be the hardest, but it will be the bravest move.
This is not going to happen for a while. Just not ready to talk to my Dad / family for a multitude of reasons. Will by the end of this year though.


Have you been to the CAB for advice? I know you say you havent been out but you need to start taking control of things and getting yourself in gear. Once you've crossed the threshold, you are on your way!

You're spot on, in that I do need to start taking control. It's all about dragging oneself kicking and screaming out of one's comfort zone / pit of inertia isn't it? I have been to the CAB last Summer and (with respect for any CAB volunteers / employees on here), my local CAB debt advisor was pretty awful.

Even the Insolvency Service confirmed that she'd given me bad / inaccurate advice. I have my CCCS pack though, and their DRO / Bankruptcy contact number for tomorrow.

With regards to the alcohol - if you havent managed to get a drink for a while, please please dont go back on - again it's about you taking control of your life and alcohol will stop you from doing that.

Again, I agree. If only it were that easy. I drank Friday, and Saturday due to loneliness, feeling overwhelmed. It needs to stop though. Long overdue.


Write a list of what you need to do to at least get something sorted and break it down into small tasks (get a shower and dressed, find out address of CAB etc) then cross off each task when you have done it. It gives you a bit of focus and something to work towards.

Agree with the list idea. Did this last Thursday, but then became despondent, and very down / overwhelmed again last Friday and stupidly ended up drinking, and got through £120 in two days.


I'm going to stop there, but you seem to be crying out for help. You NEED to see your GP about what you are experiencing (lack of appetite, agraphobia etc).

Hope this has been of some help. I'm not the religeous type but I will be saying a little prayer for you tonight, just so you know that at least one person is thinking of you.

Stay strong, be in control, cos the only way from rock bottom is up!

Will be calling my GP again tomorrow.

Thanks again Lois Lane. Hope your weekend was good, and your week is going well.

Lois Lane was my first crush when I was little!

Sim x