What is the point in my being alive?

loislane999

SIm

So sorry to hear of your woes. Life can lead you into the shadows for a while but there is always a light somewhere.

I have been desperately skint and unhappy (depressed) in the past and the Smaritans were a godsend to me (at first it felt like I was giving in by phoning them when in fact I was starting to take control of my life)

http://www.samaritans.org/

Please please ring them, or someone up, and talk, just so that you know someone (even a complete stranger) really cares about you.


I know you were on a bit of a typing flow and I didnt quite get your personal financial circumstances, is there a crisis loan you could apply for? (maybe another person can clarify on this forum).(did a google on ESA and it came up with European Space Agency!) Can you not apply for JSA? (I KNOW what that is cos I'm on it!) Can I ask what you will be doing self employed?

Again, not knowing the circumstances of your lack of family communication - if you DO contact any of them, what's the worst that can happen? You're not going to explode or anything. Sometimes making the first move can be the hardest, but it will be the bravest move.

Have you been to the CAB for advice? I know you say you havent been out but you need to start taking control of things and getting yourself in gear. Once you've crossed the threshold, you are on your way!

With regards to the alcohol - if you havent managed to get a drink for a while, please please dont go back on - again it's about you taking control of your life and alcohol will stop you from doing that.

Write a list of what you need to do to at least get something sorted and break it down into small tasks (get a shower and dressed, find out address of CAB etc) then cross off each task when you have done it. It gives you a bit of focus and something to work towards.

I'm going to stop there, but you seem to be crying out for help. You NEED to see your GP about what you are experiencing (lack of appetite, agraphobia etc).

Hope this has been of some help. I'm not the religeous type but I will be saying a little prayer for you tonight, just so you know that at least one person is thinking of you.

Stay strong, be in control, cos the only way from rock bottom is up!

sp1987

Have you been over to the benefits board and asked for their advice? They can be more specific for income help than here.

You certainly have plenty to live for because it will get better.

To stop drinking is amazing going, though you won't see it yourself as you are having a hard time. You will feel worse because you have just stripped yourself of drinking. Your emotions and thoughts will surely be all over the place for a while even if you weren't having such a hard time. But it will get better, then much better...and then you can be happy again. Look at all the people here who end up debt free or go from having it all, to having nothing, to having it all again.

mandyl

hi
didnt want to read and run so. theres loads of point. im on income support and have £11.000 of debt but im not giving up. you mustnt either. hugs from me x

Daeheryn

Hi Sim,
I just wanted to say that I agree with everything LoisLane999 said, she worded it so much better than I could have!

But on a personal note, I just wanted to say that as someone who has been to the brink of suicide in the past, just hang on - you can't see it right now but there is so much to live for, I promise you.

I don't know the circumstances with your family, but I would urge you to consider contacting them - I had not spoken to my father for years, but when he took his life last week those years vanished immediately. Please try and talk to them, no matter how long it's been.

I'll be saying a prayer for you tonight - really hope you're ok,
Dae
X

twistedhazel

Hi Simon - just wanted to check in with you and see how you are doing this morning. Would you let us know that you are OK?

Hales82

I can't offer you any advice on the debt matter (I'm still early days with mine myself) but I didn't want to read and run. Sounds like you've had some great advice, I hope you get it sorted.

There is always a reason for living. Please call the samaritans x

xx_michelle_xx

Hi sim, sorry to hear things aren't going well for you atm, it really will get better!

When i fell behind with my rent and payments to my creditors, my housing association put me in touch with our local financial charity, southwest pound. I met with them and they helped me sort out my finances, told me how to get in touch with creditors and explained what benefits etc i could be entitled to. In addition, they periodically called me up to see how i was getting on and to ask if i needed help with anything else.

I know it's difficult when you have so many things going on. My head always gets really muddled, i cant think straight and can't work out what to do next.

There is lots and lots of support here for you, if you want advice or even just to have a rant, no one minds.

Take care

xx

Spiritedwolf

Afternoon Sim,

It sounds like things are tough right now. You feel alone and overwhelmed.

Try to see that you've already made some really big, positive decisions in your life. You've decided to be sober. You've left a damaging relationship. You've decided to sort out your finances and asked for the advice you'll need to do so. These are all huge achievements.

It's going to take a little while to sort out your finances, you just need to take one step at a time and things are already looking better than they were a few days ago (you've paid towards your housing arrears).

Be kind to yourself. Is there something that you could enjoy? Taking a bath, watching a favourite film or tv programme, making yourself a nice meal, meeting up with a friend (try meeting in a coffee shop, gym, park, their house, yours or similar rather than a pub though - no need to make things difficult for you).

Contact Samaritans to speak to someone now if you can't manage anything else. They are fantastic, I've been there.

When you're ready, sort out one issue at a time.

Contact your GP (arrange a home visit if you really can't leave your home) you need support for your depression and for staying sober. Tell him/her about the stress you are under with your finances too.

Next find out what benefits you are entitled to. Citizen's Advice Bureau can help you with this (and the debts). I am sure you'll be able to get some kind of income support if you don't qualify for JSA or ESA/IB.

Take care of yourself. You are feeling low right now, anyone would in your situation, but things will get better. Your health will improve. Your finances can be sorted. You will make new relationships with people and you'll begin to enjoy life again.

All you have to do is keep going. Keep asking for help. We're here for you and we'd love to hear from you.

Spirited x

Yargo1

Hello, just wanted to add to the above posts really. ive felt low and been in a similar circumstances before... it does feel like there is no point at times when we battle with debts/addictions and loss of family relationships... BUT there is always someone who does need you/care for you/ would miss you and you will find things can be good again..

Def recommend samaritans.. i emailed them before.. prefered it to phoning... and they sent me a great mail back.. really positive and non judjmental no matter what you tell them you have done/thought of doing etc etc..

Please come online and let us know you are ok though... sending you a hug x

Gettingtherequickly

Ok Sim, you are going through a bad moment, but just think of what you achieved earlier yesterday which was fab and you did that by yourself, be proud of that.

Is there someone you can trust to deal with all of this with you? I support families of murder victims and financial issues are always a concern for them. Generally, I get 3rd party authority from them which then allows me to deal with whichever creditor needs to be addressed, the client is ultimately dealing with it, but because I can speak or write with a clear head (and I think you are doing well with your issues) a satisfactory solution can be reached, but most importantly, the client has one worry less on the list. To you, these are huge issues, but there is nothing that can't be resolved.

Although it is more expensive, it may be worth while having a prepay meter installed, at least you will now that you are paying the money owed, but more importantly, it is a debt less to worry about. The same thing with your rent, as a previous poster said, you are not going to be evicted as it can be seen that you are clearing it off, it is just not as quick as you like. Once you get your benefits sorted out, it may be worth asking to have any rent you have to pay deducted automatically, just make sure that you agree the arrears repayment you can afford, for example if your rent contribution is £8, pay £10, again it is something you can afford and is aonther debt less to worry about.

I know it is a bit nippy today, but please go for a walk and clear the cobwebs, being stuck inside is making you go over & over the issues and they are escalating more than they should be, so think about how good it is to be able to go for a walk and more importantly, you are not alone.