12 to 24 week pregnancy thread

Birdie85

That's such a sad story Smlsave. So sorry that you lost a friend in such terrible circumstances. I'm worried that I'll suffer with PND but it's a bridge we'll have to cross if that happens, I'm figuring that preparing for it means I'll be more in tune with how healthy I'm feeling and I'll be prepared to seek help as soon as I feel the need.

claire16c

lushlifesaver wrote: »

I'm just going with telling him I'm expecting, and the rough dates I currently plan to be off as long as all things go well.

I don't have a particularly strenuous job so I'm going to look to start leave as of Friday 14th March which is 2 weeks before my due date and return after about 6 months ... we think/plan

I wouldn't even worry about those details yet and I'd rather not mention anything as I'd be likely to change my mind & then wish I'd never said anything lol legally he can't ask you either. All you need to say is I'm pregnant.

Bizarrely auto correct changed 'ask' to 'smack' then - well I guess he can't smack you either haha! X

Edit - just seen your update looks like it went well and he understands you can't plan anyway! That's good.

Sml save that's ever so sad xx

Jox

I was explaining to my OH about PND (or as little as I know about it myself anyway), he didn't know it could happen so at least he's aware of it now..

I still haven't told work, I work in a small office with 3 guys, I've been here since the company started 5 years ago and am the only woman who has every worked here so I have no example to follow! Our parent company is in another country so we have no HR here, I'll speak to my boss at some point, his teenage daughter has cancer so I'm worried about "burdening" him with my news, but I guess he must have come across this in other employments and will need to deal with it!

What are people doing about child care plans? My mum has offered to help me so that's good. I'd like to be a mum and employee, will see if work will let me work flexibly to help with this....

mincepiemonster

SmlSave thank you for sharing this story. I am so sorry this happened to a friend of yours; it must be really rough on her poor family and friends to have to wait so long for the inquest.

To all those worrying about telling your boss: Birdie and Claire are spot on. You have a legal right to support and assistance with planning your pregnancy and maternity leave. That said, I was worried about telling my boss with DD - but I started a new job when 15 weeks pregnant and because I was a nurse I felt I had to tell her straight away, so on my first shift! I didn't end up going back but it was nothing to do with lack of support: she was lovely about it and I still got flowers and cards on my last day!

Kynthia I didn't know you were planning on moving house - hope all goes to plan and you get to put up your Christmas tree in a lovely new home. Any news re your move Team Lowe? IIRC you exchange a week tomorrow? Scary stuff!

Welcome lushlifesaver :wave:what a lovely anniversary present!

I'm off out for dinner tonight with some friends - so frantically reading the guidance on how I can have my steak cooked We are going to a lovely independent restaurant so if I can't have it medium I'll have to choose something else! It's a late birthday celebration - I hit the big 2-5 on Monday! Mum and dad bought me a maternity coat from Ebay for my birthday, so I'm prepared for the cold weather :T

Birdie85

Jox, we're going to try to juggle childcare between us as much as possible. I'll work 7.30-4, OH works 2-10 already and is looking to cut his hours down and start later, maybe doing 6-midnight but we need to work out the financial aspect of this. We have willing Mums on both sides who want to help out but OH has this big thing about being independent and not wanting babysitting to be a burden to anyone, as well as then not wanting to be stuck when they can't do a week. I see where he's coming from but I also think that our Mums wouldn't be offering to help if they didn't want to! As it is they'd only be required a couple of hours a day if OH remained on his current shift so it's not like we're going to be finding childcare for 9-5, 5 days a week, more like 1-4ish. A lot to think about and get sorted but we've got plenty time yet! I'm aware that we're already in a better position than a lot of people with both partners on normal hours... although it does mean I'll have the baby for the ratty evening hours all on my own! :eek:

VICSH

SMl that is so sad xxx

Mini rant due: my HR dept are so rubbish, I had my meeting wiht them yesterday to detail out my plans for takign time off of work etc.
While on Mat leave I am eligible for childcare vouchers as I am already in the scheme and apparently i am not allowed to get these, my pension contributions are wrong, and apparently public bank holidays are not accrued also. I know from my own research this is incorrect but this was with the HR manager surely they should know they own role???
Is anyone else having difficulties with their work regarding discrimination.....

SmlSave

What are people doing about child care plans? My mum has offered to help me so that's good. I'd like to be a mum and employee, will see if work will let me work flexibly to help with this....

We are very lucky Jox and both sets of Nan's help out. Currently DS is at nursery Mon and Fri and with the Nan's Tues and Wed (each Nan has him every other week so they get a week off). Smlett2 will hopefully be welcome at both the Nan's and DS should be getting the free 15hrs nursery then and going 3 days a week.

If your mum has offered to help then I would accept but discuss it in more detail nearer the time, it may be that things change.

Nursery is over £40p/day so I only earn £20 when he's there!

SmlSave

I know from my own research this is incorrect but this was with the HR manager surely they should know they own role???

Don't count on it, some are terrible. I'd arrange another meeting armed with all the information you have and any facts that are useful. Feel free to take a work colleague you trust with you for back-up.

VICSH

RE: childcare, I found a fantastic childminder when i went back to work with my son 3 years ago, my plan will be if she is available then I would go back to her or I would ask her for recommendations. I work 4 days a week but i may ask to change my hours when I come back to accomodate school time for DS

LannieDuck

VICSH wrote: »

SMl that is so sad xxx

Mini rant due: my HR dept are so rubbish, I had my meeting wiht them yesterday to detail out my plans for takign time off of work etc.
While on Mat leave I am eligible for childcare vouchers as I am already in the scheme and apparently i am not allowed to get these, my pension contributions are wrong, and apparently public bank holidays are not accrued also. I know from my own research this is incorrect but this was with the HR manager surely they should know they own role???
Is anyone else having difficulties with their work regarding discrimination.....

Public bank holidays definitely do accrue. I was able to use them to do part-time working for the first month back after having DD1.

I need to look into childcare vouchers... haven't yet asked about whether they can continue over mat leave.