LittleBoots Big Dreams

LittleBoots

Baldybear wrote: »

Hello,

Just saw your post about your ex and was in a very similar situation a few years ago, I thought everything was going well, week before he walked away he told my friends hubby how excited he was about getting a mortgage and getting our own house soon! He left in October and it took me till December/January to decide that he wasnt coming back and I needed to do something for myself to get me over it.

Thinking about it now pony trekking in Iceland for Charity (in the rain and gale force winds) was probably not the best thing to do but it gave me the spur to know that I could do anything on my own.

Am now with a lovely OH and my ex (who quickly moved on and is now married) is not happy at all and probably now regrets his decision (karma maybe) I dont know but I am much stronger than I was

It will take time and dont beat yourself up about feeling bad, but it sounds like you are already moving forward and the meet ups sound fab

All the best of luck for the future

Awww thank-you so much for your message! Nice to hear some happy stories. I've always wanted to go to Iceland, not sure Pony Trekking would be my thing though! Guess it's nice to know that I dont have to wait around to do the things I want to do now :T.

LittleBoots

AIMS FOR FEBRUARY

• Do full time hours worth of shifts at work
• Lose 4lb
• Go to a Zumba class
• Go swimming and generally try to do some regular exercise
• Spend some quality time with my parents
• Do something social/ spend time with friends/ get out of the house AT LEAST once a week
• Do a BIG clean of the flat
• Enjoy my week off work and do something productive with it
• Get hair highlighted
• Book in for some beauty treatments and a manicure
• Sort my wardrobe out
• Oh, remember to write more MSE related stuff in here so it doesnt get removed for being irrelevant!

Sure there is more to add, will do when I remember .

LittleBoots

Well have had a good day so far.

Was looking around hairdressing colleges and have managed to get an appointment for Saks Academies to get half head highlights for free! Woohoo!! Thats a saving of approx £60 .

Went to laser quest this evening, was actually quite good and a nice wee distraction. Also running around shooting people for 45 minutes will count as my exercise for the day . Also nice to see one of my best friends who never seems to mind listening to me drone on and on (and on).

Oh and I bought a new dress! Yeay, know of two events so far I can wear it too so not my usual dress buying where it gets one wear then banished to the wardrobe...

Just going to have a bite to eat then have a look for free/cheap things to do on Saturday in Glasgow.

LittleBoots

What a horrible day today, although I do feel bad moaning about the wind when Australia has all that devastation with the floods and hurricane to deal with. My little garden had taken some battering so have decided to stay in today. Oh I should live somewhere where the sun shines!

Got my 'eyes done' today, brow wax/tint and lash tint, £15 all in and I got a wee scalp massage too. Other spends came to £1.14 for a can of coke, newspaper and a packet of chocolate buttons. Hmmm now I write them down I feel I sholdnt have bothered.

Have only managed to get two shifts in this week so will have to work LOADS later in the month, its okay though as I'm happy to keep busy just now.

Thats all for now

burntfingers_2

Hi Little boots

Firstly well done for posting a diary. I wanted to say whilst it is difficult when someone you love leaves your life, for whatever reason it maybe - life will go on. You have started a diary, which in a couple of months you can look back on this time and will realise how far you have gone. I started mine but then it fell by the wayside but the ones that I did post firstly makes me realise now how far that I have come.

In my opinion baby steps forward worked best for me. I used to get up and put my make up on and always went out, I knew that even if I felt crap and he saw me then at least I would look good. I would smile even though I felt my heart was breaking and in the local supermarket I always used to ring one of my friends or text people so that I always looked as if I was okay with everything. (Just in case he saw me!! - yeah sad, but true)

I lost weight too so that gave me a little confidence, I arranged to go out with my friends even if it was to meet up for a coffee or go around to eat others houses. Anything really that would stop me being in the house brooding about things.

I also cleared out all the memorabilia from our marriage, the wedding photo's, the champagne flutes with our names engraved on them, the wedding cards, invites etc etc I had a bonfire in the garden and threw my wedding dress on it. Surprisingly enough my friends supported me on this, and we all had a laugh about it afterwards. I even posted the photo's on my facebook!! Although at the time was tempted to post it on You tube and send him the link....lol .This felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Knowing that I could open a draw or cupboard without something reminding me of him falling out of it.

One night I thought I would join the dating websites, got a few replies and then thought what am I doing?? and promptly took myself back off. I knew that I couldn't be bothered with it all and thought well this is life for me and I am destined to be alone. :eek:

But then I met someone else. One Saturday evening I was sat alone on my pc and I decided to search for some old friends on facebook. One was my boyfriend when we were teenagers...long story cut short we met up and rekindled our romance - that was several months ago, we are together after 30 years apart. :kisses2:He was my first love and I was his....deep down I guess had always loved him and he felt the same. :T

Romance will find you the minute that you decide that you can't be bothered anymore, look on the positive side of not been in a relationship ie. the bed to yourself, no smelly socks to wash, long hot bubble baths, long telephone conversations with your girlie friends without someone moaning at the cost, breakfast in bed, watching tv in bed, slumming about in your pj's way after dinner time etc. girlie nights in with bottles of wine, having time to be you..

Have you thought about working in a bar or restaurant? Great way to meet new people, and getting paid to socialise at the same time, plus giving you extra cash to clear the debt.

Best of luck for the future :j:j

LittleBoots

burntfingers wrote: »

Hi Little boots

Firstly well done for posting a diary. I wanted to say whilst it is difficult when someone you love leaves your life, for whatever reason it maybe - life will go on. You have started a diary, which in a couple of months you can look back on this time and will realise how far you have gone. I started mine but then it fell by the wayside but the ones that I did post firstly makes me realise now how far that I have come.

In my opinion baby steps forward worked best for me. I used to get up and put my make up on and always went out, I knew that even if I felt crap and he saw me then at least I would look good. I would smile even though I felt my heart was breaking and in the local supermarket I always used to ring one of my friends or text people so that I always looked as if I was okay with everything. (Just in case he saw me!! - yeah sad, but true)

I lost weight too so that gave me a little confidence, I arranged to go out with my friends even if it was to meet up for a coffee or go around to eat others houses. Anything really that would stop me being in the house brooding about things.

I also cleared out all the memorabilia from our marriage, the wedding photo's, the champagne flutes with our names engraved on them, the wedding cards, invites etc etc I had a bonfire in the garden and threw my wedding dress on it. Surprisingly enough my friends supported me on this, and we all had a laugh about it afterwards. I even posted the photo's on my facebook!! Although at the time was tempted to post it on You tube and send him the link....lol .This felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Knowing that I could open a draw or cupboard without something reminding me of him falling out of it.

One night I thought I would join the dating websites, got a few replies and then thought what am I doing?? and promptly took myself back off. I knew that I couldn't be bothered with it all and thought well this is life for me and I am destined to be alone. :eek:

But then I met someone else. One Saturday evening I was sat alone on my pc and I decided to search for some old friends on facebook. One was my boyfriend when we were teenagers...long story cut short we met up and rekindled our romance - that was several months ago, we are together after 30 years apart. :kisses2:He was my first love and I was his....deep down I guess had always loved him and he felt the same. :T

Romance will find you the minute that you decide that you can't be bothered anymore, look on the positive side of not been in a relationship ie. the bed to yourself, no smelly socks to wash, long hot bubble baths, long telephone conversations with your girlie friends without someone moaning at the cost, breakfast in bed, watching tv in bed, slumming about in your pj's way after dinner time etc. girlie nights in with bottles of wine, having time to be you..

Have you thought about working in a bar or restaurant? Great way to meet new people, and getting paid to socialise at the same time, plus giving you extra cash to clear the debt.

Best of luck for the future :j

Thank You so much, what a great message. Sounds like youve been through the mill but came out smiling at the other end:j. Love the story with your new, old partner .

I am glad I have this diary to rant in. Whenever someone in 'real life' asks me how I am I automatically tell them I'm alright, just find it so hard to be honest about how I'm really feeling. Also, guess I dont want people worrying about me and am a bit ashamed that over 2 months later I havent even begun to get over it.

But I will :T

little_h_2

Hi LittleBoots, just a quick post - don't worry about the length of time 'allowed'.

To me, 2 months sounds still very soon to be expecting to feel OK. It's now 8 months since I first got the dreadful phonecall about what was going on with my ex fiance, and 6 months since what would have been our wedding day. Only now can I really, genuinely say that I am doing OK and am starting to feel I can move on. And it took a lot longer to work my way through all the issues with my divorce, and that was quite amicable!

So, there is no time limit. I am glad I took the time to wallow and feel sad this time round. Bad things happened and I felt very sad as a result. All the cliches are true about grieving and a sense of loss.

The last thing I wanted to say, and this might not go down well, but having been on the other side of the fence, I thought I would say it.

My ex husband wanted us to keep 'trying' to fix things, and I agreed, despite knowing in my heart of hearts that this wasn't what I wanted. In the end, it just dragged out the inevitable, hurt both of us even more than was necessary, and now I wish I had had the courage to say at the time, I'm sorry but this isn't for me. I think by doing this, your ex has been very honest with you (however brutal it may seem).

There's no need to rush. As burntfingers says, there is a lot to enjoy about being single. Pyjamas are great things :rotfl: My ex fiance was always really sweaty in bed and I don't miss that at all :rotfl: and, if I want nothing but coco shreddies for breakfast dinner and tea, then there is no-one to complain. I always thought I would feel a bit Bridget Jones about the single life, but actually, now I love it. I cried buckets, make that oil tankers full. But that was an important bit of the ending.

I will stop now. I am rambling I hope you are able to somehow enjoy the period of looking inwards and working out what you want. Sounds like you have some brilliant friends around you

LittleBoots

Aaarghhhhh little_h I wrote a reply then the site crashed on me .

Anyway, I totally get what you mean, the ex is not the sort to mess me about/lead me on etc. I do know its a good thing as it doesnt give me any false hope etc.

Some Bridget J moments can be good . Today I had a good dance around the living room singing loudly along to 'You stole the sun from my heart' by the Manics. It was a great wee few minutes and very therapeutic .

burntfingers_2

Little boots - yeah I have been through the mill but I wanted to tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel even though it may not feel like that.

I used to constantly check my mobile phone/emails/ansaphone messages to see if he had got in touch. Biy by bit you will wean yourself off of him, keep your days busy/evenings and before long a day will have passed before you last thought about him, that will lead to a couple of days and before you know it a week will have passed and then another.

You will hear songs on the radio which you loved as a couple, which when you had split broke your heart, but eventually those songs will come on, and you will be oh yeah I remember how gutted I was at the time and it becomes a distant memory.

All your friends will be understanding. Even now I am in a 110% committed, loving relationship, I have wobbles now...not about HIM in particular but as to the level that he reduced me to....thankfully those are getting less and less.

You can say to your friends that you are not having a good day today, the true friends will understand, they will have been there at some point in their lives, and possibly will be in the future and you will be there to support them.

I used to listen to Cher Believe album, oldie but goodie belt it out on the stereo and dance around the room, made me feel a whole lot better oh and a tub of ben and gerrys...although not at the same time !!

Keep smiling and remember what doesn't breaks us , makes us stronger...xx

LittleBoots

Thanks again burntfingers, I know I'll get there. After the first month I got to a point where I was feeling better for longer and longer and thinking about him less then one day BAM!!! For no reason I was back to square one crying for hours everyday and it doesnt seem to be getting any better. But I do tell myself it will and am trying to avoid getting worse and worse.

Well I've had a nice weekend. Friday I went to one of the social events in town. A cocktail masterclass had been organised, unfortunately I was late as my bus to the subway didnt turn up due to the terrible weather. Ended up spending a horrendous amount on taxis. Grrrrr. Was a nice night though despite not learning anything about cocktail making! I drank a few though so thats always good .

Last night I went to my friends house who cooked dinner then we went out and had a few drinks in town. I've never been that much of a drinker but around midnight last night I was giggling away saying that alcohol does actually solve everything! Oh dear. Dont worry, I'm drinking a cup of tea just now. I stayed at my friends last night and when we got home we went online and signed up to a speed dating event!!! Eeeek!!!

Like I've said, I don't want to be with anyone else but have to look at ways to get over him. I'm not expecting to meet anyone there, just purely going for a laugh and a confidence boost.

What to wear????