Crush

Crushed

I'm a regular user and have signed up under another name for this.

I have a problem i need some help with. A few months ago i worked on a project with a group of people from another office for a week. By the second day i'd developed a crush on one of the men that i was working with . Since then i've had to work with him in person once and have spoken to him via email and phone quite a lot. The contract is nearlly over so i'm only going to see him once more i think. I don't know if he feels the same, i think he does but i'm in a relationship so i can't do anything about it. I can't stop thinking about him and it's driving me mad.

I've been with my partner for a few years and we've had our ups and downs but i do love him. I just can't get this other man out of my mind.

BitterAndTwisted

Well, if you don't do anything about this crush it's all going to be out of your hands soon enough anyway.

If you do truly love your partner it would be best to file this one away under "Nice Idea But Won't" and be done with it.

SugarSpun

Crushes are totally normal. When you settle down with a partner you don't go blind or vacuum seal your hormones away.

What's dangerous is acting on it; this is a work relationship and it's ending, so either you find some reason to keep contacting the guy and potentially risk your relationship or you just enjoy the butterflies in your tummy and the smile on your face, then go home and jump your partner. Which is what most of us do.

Crushed

Thanks guys, i do love my Partner but whether i can see us happy ever after i'm not sure. I keep getting stupid crazy urges to tell the other man how i feel but i know that would just be stupid.:(

pupsicola

Does it speak volumes about your relationship with your partner that you have these feelings for another guy. You refer to your oh as your partner not your husband, I am not sure if you are married or not.

You could just walk away at the end of this contract, chalk this crush down to experience and carry on with who you are with. But would this make you happy? Only you know the answer to all these questions.

Whats worse, risking loosing what you have or always wondering "what if"

Crushed

No we're not married but we do have children. If it wasn't for the children we wouldn't still be together now i don't think. I wouldn't have put up with what i have from him. But saying that until i met this other man we were content enough i suppose and i wasn't thinking of leaving, we'd worked through the problems. I don't even know if the other man even feels the same, i'm in such a mess.

Crushed

I'm trying really hard not to think of the other man and then my Partner comes in and the first thing he does is start moaning at me for no reason. I don't know why i bother, i really don't.

Tropez

Okay, this will probably come across as harsh but...

You've "strong urges" to tell this other man how you feel.

You've stated that you don't see you and your current partner living happily ever after.

You've stated that if it wasn't for the children you wouldn't be with your partner.

You describe your prior relationship with your partner until the appearance of this man in your life as "content", not "happy".

You're implying you're unhappy in your current relationship.

By posting these messages, you're subconsciously acknowledging that what you feel for this other man may be more than a simple crush.

I don't think you should be saying anything to this man you have an attraction to but I do think you should look to strongly evaluate your feelings on your current relationship.

Crushed

I just wish i could stop myself feeling like this i really do.

Janey3

I agree with SugarSpun, crushes are normal and it will pass, don't do anything hasty! Imagination - it may even put a bit of sparkle back into your present relationship.

Crushed

I'm trying really hard to be nice to my Partner because i'm feeling guilty for feeling like this. Then when he's horrible to me i think well i bet the other man wouldn't treat me like this.