18 mth old crying in night neighbours complaining??

Nicki

Katie-Kat-Kins wrote: »

A crying baby is not THAT loud in the scheme of things. If the OP was talking about major DIY involving heavy power tools commencing at 7am then fair enough that she should warn the neighbours but a baby crying wouldn't necessarily be loud enough to disturb your neighbours.

Really? We live in a large 4 storey house with thick walls, and I can hear my 16 month old whenever he gets going wherever I am in the house. I think a baby's cry is designed to be piercing and to make itself heard for evolutionary reasons, and so if my baby were crying in the early hours of the morning when everything else is quiet, I would assume that it could be heard next door unless someone reassured me otherwise.

If you read the very many noise nuisance threads on here, you'll find that all sorts of noises carry - alarm clocks, televisions, music, toilets flushing, etc - not just industrial power tools, and that it causes very real distress to those affected by it.

barbiedoll

My friend had a neighbour who was always moaning because her two kids would play in the garden and make a bit of noise. He actually contacted the council to complain. He was told that the sound of children playing is classed as "acceptable" noise and that was no legislation that prevented children singing, shouting, crying or jumping up and down on a squeaky trampoline.
Mind you, he also moaned about her rabbits "scratching and running around at night", said it was keeping him awake. She had two dwarf rabbits in a hutch, he must have had superhuman hearing! Apparently, he had a very low tolerance of noise. Not quite sure why he bought a terraced house, on a main road, opposite a children's playground and a school then?
:rotfl::rotfl:

barbie_babe

Hope you have a better night tonight going back to 10pm bed time. You sound shattered so just make sure you look after yourself as well as the kiddies.
Maybe just pop a note into neighbours for now saying sorry. Then when you feel a bit better and have had more sleep go around and have a chat with them.

faithcecilia

Nicki wrote: »

Really? We live in a large 4 storey house with thick walls, and I can hear my 16 month old whenever he gets going wherever I am in the house. I think a baby's cry is designed to be piercing and to make itself heard for evolutionary reasons, and so if my baby were crying in the early hours of the morning when everything else is quiet, I would assume that it could be heard next door unless someone reassured me otherwise.

If you read the very many noise nuisance threads on here, you'll find that all sorts of noises carry - alarm clocks, televisions, music, toilets flushing, etc - not just industrial power tools, and that it causes very real distress to those affected by it.

I agree with this, I think its almost a biological thing - a childs cry is distressing to adults and can be heard over massive distances and through the thickest of walls. I don't have my own kids but look after a 3yr old and I can identify his cry from a dozen others if I have to without any hesitation. His whingy cry doesn't bother me particularly, but if he is really distressed then I instinctively know he needs me.

I can sympathise both with the family and the neighbours. This little one I look after is a bad sleeper too. Usually there are tears at bedtime but then he calms down quite quickly (by 8pm) but sometimes if he really won't settle I will sit on his bedroom floor until I hear his breathing change and I know he is asleep. If he wakes up howling I or his mum will usually cuddle him back to sleep, and if he keeps doing it I tell him that its naughty to keep pther people awake when they are tired - I always feel bad doing this but it has never failed to work, I think he sometimes needs to be reminded that other people matter too.

We have a big, noisy family upstairs to us. Night after night the noise from them is shocking - its not unusual for shouting, crying, running around etc to still be going on until 2am:eek: As I get up at 4:45am 5 days awake this drives me insane - and due to the child I care for I cannot put earplugs in. This noise gets to me far more than 3yr olds, I think because, as others have said, I can do nothing to control it. Quiet words have got nowhere with the family:(

missbishi

After reading the full thread, I think you really do need to speak with the students about the noise. They may think (like others on this thread) that the baby is being left to cry (even though we know that's not true), hence the banging on the wall. When I was doing my degree, I often had 9am lectures, so please don't assume that all students don't get out of bed til midday.

aliasojo

Katie-Kat-Kins wrote: »

Whilst I agree in principle, in practice you often don't know whether a noise will cause a nuisence until a complaint is received.

Well if that's the case then there's no harm done is there and at least the neighbours would think positively of you for checking with them 'just in case'.

Lack of communication is usually to blame for a lot of things. OP, go round and talk to them.

fishingcinema

asquiths wrote: »

Just to clear this up. We don't leave her for hrs to cry!

When we started the controlled crying we put her down to sleep at 7.30 this gave plenty of time to settle her before neighbours would be going to bed. As i said it worked for a couple of weeks then was disrupted due to being in hospital with the baby.

We never let her cry for more than 10 minutes before getting up and laying her back down with her dummy. She then gets up and continues to cry. I can assure you I have read and read the technique over and over!

As a mum of 5 and never having to try any type of sleep routine i suppose i should have stuck with my original routine but hey you live and learn.

Hi there op firstly i would like to send you big hugs it sounds like you have had a terrible time lately, i hope your little one is doing better and is on the road to recovery.

Secondly i know how you feel as my eldest who is now 5 has only in the last year started to sleep through the night, i tried all sorts and kept being told as she hit certian milestones she would sleep through.

I took her to the hv when she was a few months old and was told when she starts on solids she will sleep through, she has eating problems too and when i started to wean her she threw everything back up, i returned to the hv and explained the eating problems and was just told when she is on solids she will sleep through :0(

Then i was told when she is walking and more active, then it was when she started pre school, then it was when she starts school.

She was not napping during the day she stopped these at 6m, she would happily still be up and awake at 12pm.

I then got told to try the controled crying and could not stand that after 5 hrs of crying she was only getting louder and i am in a flat with people above and below.

Then lastly the doctor said it was just bad behaviour and to close the door on her and leave her till the morning. needless to say i did not do this to her.

I tried every routine going, dinner, soothing bath, cuddle, story, milk in the end i resorted to laying on the bed next to her cot untill she was asleep then creeping out alot of the time though i fell asleep with her.

Still some nights now being in school full time i put her to bed about 7pm and she is still wide awake at 11/12 pm saying mummy i cant sleep i am not tired but usualy she will creep into bed with me.

Every child is different what works for one may not work for another, i do hope that you manage to find something that works for your little one soon.

All the best and keep your chin up :0)

Jinx

I think your family must be exhausted!! Hope you get a better nights sleep tonight by whatever routine you go with.

Personally I would do a card and bottle of wine for the neighbours if you are too tired/emotional to chat to them and leave it on the doorstep.

Maybe they should have spoken to you but everyone has a limit and perhaps theirs was reached at the point they banged on the walls. Lets face it a baby crying is THE worst noise......even us parents hate it!! You cant help but react to it, it does seem to resonate... And students while partying some of the time, need sleep too...I dont function on broken sleep too well. And you know what has caused the sudden crying spate, theyre not used to it and probably dont get it at all.

mich13x

Mojisola wrote: »

This is getting circular - that point has already been addressed.

Fair enough i did say it was only MY opinion that i was offering to the op as per the purpose of the thread but you kept quoting me making me feel obliged to reply to you but as a busy mum i often just pop on and off, miss posts and forget what ive already said :rotfl: So apoligies for being circular!

I do not wish to debate my opinion any further because thats all it is, i won't lose any sleep over whether people think i am right or wrong.

Hope things get better for you and the family soon op!

mich13x

Nicki wrote: »

Glad I don't live next to you or near you then! Surely if you know that you are going to be causing a noise nuisance for a period of time the onus is on you to approach the neighbours to smooth the way, not wait for them to complain after you have made a nuisance of yourself for a while! All the more so where the noise is at anti social times of day, whatever the reasons for it.

I have a feeling you would actually enjoy living next door to me i am very neighbourly

Maybe the onus would be on the op if her neighbours had behaved reasonably but i just felt that banging on the walls of a home with small children in it in the middle of the night is uncalled for whatever your reasons or however little sleep you have had.