Am I mean

The_New_Caz

My OH has been out of work for a year - as the redundancy ran out I started to take over payments until now i have ended up paying everything. For one reason or another we keep our money separate - however as he now needed me to give him money to pay into his account i took a look at his bank statement to find out he has been gambling hundreds of pounds a month.
He now wants me to buy him a football season ticket - I know he is down because of being out of work and he needs to let off steam in with his mates - however I am in debt - and don't want to purchase this for him on my credit card. I am miffed cos of the gambling and don't know if i am now being mean. Any comments?

[Deleted User]

I think you know the answer but if you want a comment NO your not being mean. Tell him he could have bought his own season ticket with the money he gambled and because your in debt your spending YOUR money paying them off. If he wants a season ticket that badly tell him to get someone else to buy it or find a job (even a small one) to pay his way.

Tropez

Of course you're not being mean.

There's a difference between letting off some steam and having some fun with friends while you're unemployed and p#ssing it all away.

I like to gamble occasionally. I visit the casino a couple of times a month and have small wagers on sports but if I lost my job that would be one of the first things that I would stop doing.

hitchins

Mean? No, if it were me I'd be blooming livid. :eek: Yes I'm sure he is fed up about been out of work, then again I'm sure you're equally fed up with the situation. As for the season ticket, no way. You can't afford it. There's free ways to let off steam.

Hope he finds some work soon.

LillythePink

No you are not being mean

You cannot help someone who won't help themself, so if he has gambled away money how can he expect you to fork out for something for him.

Does he know that you know about the gambling?

It's one thing to give someone a moral boost when they are low, but not because they have put themself in that position ie gambling away money. I know that it can be an addiction that overtakes everything else - we have seen the posts on here, but you have said that you are in debt, so why should you put yourself even more into debt because he wants something that he could have bought himself!

Plans_all_plans

What incentive has he to find a job if you're paying for everything for him anyway and getting yourself in debt, while he's off scot free?! (I'm assuming you're not married)

Errata

I suppose you could always tell him he spent his season ticket money on bets that lost.

Tropez

Another thing to consider (although I would hope that you're not considering buying him a season ticket) is that you will find bookmakers at all the football clubs, usually not too far away from the food and beverage vendors. If he does have a gambling problem (and wasn't just trying to win "the big one" like some people think they can do) it isn't going to help him putting temptation in his way.

The_New_Caz

Thanks I felt so let down when I found out i started to question my judgement - no one likes having the p*ss taken and I so feel like he has - but he thinks I'm being unfair

The_New_Caz

I thought I was supporting him in his hour of need

hitchins

Sounds like someone is taking advantage!:(

How is he about looking for a job?