Stay at home mums

wotnext

There is an interesting article in the Daily Mail today about how high flying men are using their stay-at-home partner's as a status symbol.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1348449/Feminists-Would-arrange-husbands-sock-drawer.html

I just wondered if there were any SAHMs here and, if so, how do you find it? Do you find it difficult? Are you happy to be a homemaker? Does your partner earn enough to keep you comfortable or is it a real struggle to make ends meet?
d

onlyroz

Oh my god, not in a million years. I'd hate to depend on a man and spend my life chained to the kitchen/hoover/ironing board. I've worked hard to develop my own career and I'm certainly not going to throw all that away to be a housewife.

cpoir

I would be the opposite. Quite traditional - would love to stay at home looking after kids and making the place look lovely! Wishful thinking though - couldn't afford it on the one wage 12 months will have to do...

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

I actually wouldnt mind. Dont get me wrong, I enjoy my job but at the end of the day its just a job to me (im not a career person, have no intention of ever having my own company etc)

I chose to work part time so that i could still do all the house work etc - OH helps out but mainly its me. It would be nice to have days just for me (currently work 3 days) and for me and DD.

That said - I was brought up where dad worked in a mine, mum worked at weekends so mum was always there in week, dinner was all ready for when we walked in the door after school etc so i think this is where i get it from

I wouldnt want to be in active at home though so i guess i'd still be "working" - just as a house wife

jcr16

i'm a stay at home mum, i love it. My hubby doesn't see it as status symbol. more we choose to have children and no way do we want to pay for someone else to bring them up. i love taking the children to school, picking them up, going on school trips. and by hubby having a good job and working hard he is able to give me the oppurtunity to do so. if i wanted to work then i wouldn't have children. why have children, go to work and never see your children.

i love being a homemaker, making the house nice, washing, cleaning, making sure all my families needs are met. and my hubby knows that when he comes home he has nothing to do and have a nice hot meal waiting for him , and we sit at the table as a family and discuss all we have done in the day.

we work really well as a team. my children always know that if they need me while i am at school i am only a 2 min walk away, and i can be with them in an instant.

no paid job could ever give me the satisfaction i get from looking after my family and our family home.

cpoir

mommyme wrote: »

I chose to work part time so that i could still do all the house work etc - OH helps out but mainly its me. It would be nice to have days just for me (currently work 3 days) and for me and DD.

That's the plan for me too when the time comes to return to work...3 days will be plenty

JCR - that sounds lovely...

treetrunks

My fiancee is a stay at home mum. Due to child care costs we would have been £100 a month better off if she worked while someone else brought up our son. We decided it wasnt worth it. Thankfully my salary is comfortable for us to live on, if the situations had been reversed and she was the higher earner then i wouldnt have stayed at home. To be honest im fairly sure ive got the better deal, looking after our 1 year old and keeping our house together is completely shattering.

lostinrates

wotnext wrote: »

There is an interesting article in the Daily Mail today about how high flying men are using their stay-at-home partner's as a status symbol.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1348449/Feminists-Would-arrange-husbands-sock-drawer.html

I just wondered if there were any SAHMs here and, if so, how do you find it? Do you find it difficult? Are you happy to be a homemaker? Does your partner earn enough to keep you comfortable or is it a real struggle to make ends meet?
d

I'm a sahw (not m as no children)of a''high flying man''. Its not a status symbol for us that I don't work.

There are lots of reasons, not least my log term ill health BUT also, being moved to offices in other countries..(with less than a weeks notice the first time!) that if I had work other than self employed things would be much harder. Also, in the five years my husband has been in this career we have been able to take ONE holiday when booked. If I had employers we'd be taking time of separately all the rest of the time...you can't expect one spouses employers to work around the others.

I became so embarrassed cancelling arrangements with friends that we stopped accepting them or making them. (we now live outside london, which means I have four nights a week I can accept invitations knowing I can go,but alone!).

The hours: DH is not governed by European working hours. He is at the end of his blackberry to talk to people in ALL time zones. The calls come at 4am on a Sunday morning? Tough....that's why he gets paid like a highflyer. Christmas....well, its not the same days here as in Russia...so if the client is in russia dh works through our christmas. It does mean time to sort out washing his on socks, cleaning his car etc is limited...someone needs to do that.

Rightly, these days, secretaries are not expected to do personal tasks..personal mail, drycleaning runs etc....but they still need doing....so someone needs time in which to do them.

This year, because we had stability and the time was right,we bought a home outside london and for the first time in years I am working in a very minor way. TBH its a bit of a token gesture. Working for myself give me some degree of flexibility to fit round dh's ever changing diary and still do all the ''gumf'' he just can't get round to.

Of course, because I don't brig anything/much in then his income looks less highflying....when divided in two!

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

jcr16 wrote: »

why have children, go to work and never see your children. .

Hm, I agreed with everything you put except the above bit.

People shouldnt have to choose between work and children. I have both, Yes it would be nice to be a stay at home mum but I know that it isnt possible in our situation.

My DD attended a day nursery since the age of 6 months. I believe i made the right decision and decided against sending her to the local school and keeping her at the nursery she already attends (This was purley based on DD's education - The local kids at the nursery are all still learning their alphabet and nursery rhymes, whilst DD can speak french - I didnt want her having to repeat all the things she already knows and taking a back step in her education - if that makes sense) If i hadn't of worked then DD wouldnt of gone to the nursery and she wouldnt know half as much as she does now as I dont speak French, I dont know half the nursery rhymes she sings etc - obviously i would of taught her the basics (well - what i know!)

I've considered having another child (not now! too much happening!), but again, i'd return to work. I don't miss out with DD, I feel i get more if anything.

(not having a go! sorry - just re-read post and it seemed that way lol)

cpoir wrote: »

That's the plan for me too when the time comes to return to work...3 days will be plenty

JCR - that sounds lovely...

I did work 9-5 mon - fri and it did upset me as i wasnt getting in until after 6pm. Now i work Tues 9-4, wed 9-4 and thurs 9-1. DD is in nursery from 8am - 4:30 apart from on a thusday when she stays till 4pm and nana picks her up. (she then see's mum for an hour before coming home)

Monday's and Friday's are "Mummy and Me" days (hence - mommyme name!) these are days where we do things just for us.

Tues and Wed we get in, have dinner, have cuddles etc then DD goes to bed at 7pm.

Thursday - this is my "clean up day" This is when i get in, mop all the floors, hoover stairs and do the ironing. I find its easier when DD and OH arent around lol

Saturdays and Sundays - Saturdays we go swimming as a family. Sunday she used to go to her dads but he's no longer having her.

Luckily, Dd's nursery lets her use her 15 hours gov grant on the 3 days she's there, so instead of costing me £105 a week, its now £52.50

Sunday's used to be my rest day - so at the minute i feel tired (esp as DD was up all last night!) but DD is happy to crash out and have a few hours watching a DVD with me

LoopyLil_2

I am a SAHM, we decided that after our children were born it was important that one of us stays at home to look after them. We had them, they are our responsibility. I personally couldn't send them to a childminder, so it is upto one of us to look after them.

If they are ill, I don't have the worry about phoning into work to get a day off, school holidays/teacher training days aren't a problem.

It's hardwork being a full time parent/housewife, would I change it for a paid employment? - no way!

Being a SAHM is what is right for me and our children. My hubby doesn't see me as a 'status symbol' and he earns enough for us to get by as we live to our means. Our children are happy, we are happy. Being a SAHM is a job (and a half!)

LMCD

treetrunks wrote: »

My fiancee is a stay at home mum. Due to child care costs we would have been £100 a month better off if she worked while someone else brought up our son. We decided it wasnt worth it. Thankfully my salary is comfortable for us to live on, if the situations had been reversed and she was the higher earner then i wouldnt have stayed at home. To be honest im fairly sure ive got the better deal, looking after our 1 year old and keeping our house together is completely shattering.

I COULD KISS YOUUUUUUUUU!!! Wish you were my hubby...lmao..

three kids - one is a breeze tbh! haha. just jesting its all hardwork but worth it.