The nice ladies and gents on OS thought you could help me!

bluebag

Hi, hope your doing Ok, not been around for a few days as my mum hasn't been too well.

The weather seems to be going into the freezer again, but thankfully it's dry.

I had a lovely day off yesterday and had lunch with a very old friend, discovered I don't like rye bread, it's like cardboard. I'm sure it must have been a development of austere times.

Hope your keeping well and having something for you, an unshared and secret bar of chocolate tastes better somehow.:D

Luff and hugs X

weeze210

I decided that on my day off I was going shopping to buy myself something nice to wear. I went to a retail park in Tamworth. Usually I decide to do something like this the night before and on the day just can't be bothered! Therefore I got ready and took the kids to school in the car so I was already out and couldn.t change my mind or back out. Several times during the journey I nearly came home as I hadn't driven there for ages and couldn't quite remember the way. I persivered and got there, boy it ws busy. Went in New Look, Outfit, Sports World, Matalan and Asda and didn't buy anything!
On the way home I missed a call from the CSA who I have been chasing since June. When I got home I phoned them back but because whoever phoned me had not left a name or extension number the lady I spoke to couldn't put me through to 'my caseworker'!
I had such a disapointing day and the woman at the CSA was the icing on the cake. Oh and something else, the chicken I got out the freezer to make sweet and sour for tea was fish! We had fish pie instead, but it wasn't great.
Later though things improved as 'my caseworker' phoned back and has said that my case was lost in the system and they had only just discover it so had set up a new team to sort it out along with lots of other 'lost' cases. As I had been contacted and also managed to give him some extra info my case has now jumped the queue and he is on it!!! I have a name and an extension number now and he has said he will keep me informed and I can phone any time except tuesday as that is his day off. He kept apologising about what had happened but insisted that he will sort it out. I just hope now something will happen!
Last night me and hubby went round to see some friends of his that were having a few drinks and nibbles, it was ok, at least it was a change of scenery.
Hubby is leaving in a minute it got to Brighton for the week to work so he cooked me a lovely late lunch, so that was nice.
I am planning an early night to watch a film in bed which I love doing.
Got to make an appointment at the doctors for some blood and other tests this week so must do that in the morning.

Weeze x

kidcat

Weeze - its a start - you took some time for you, its not always about spending money - more about spending time on yourself. Well done,

DansMum_2

Weeze I hope you find your dream.... We all have a dream and it seems you really deserve it

As for hubby, knowing the motorcycle industry as I do (and I do) I think he may be dreaming too of the job with the off-roaders in Wales, sorry. The world and his dog apply for this kind of thing all the time (you should see the emails I get everyday)

I hope you can find some answers, but you do need to do something. I understand you dont need the stress of delegating, so start with something small and work your way up... Your daughter does some dusting hoovering etc, can you not ask her to dust the living room as well? And your son does his room and the dishwasher? Can he not mop the kitchen floor?

Good luck Weeze xxx

meritaten

so you didnt spend any money? doesnt matter, you went out and did something just for yourself! well done! I can do that too - go out to buy clothes and come back with nothing new to wear - but usually its because I bought books instead! went out myself yesterday, intending to get some new jumpers and some leggings, and came back with the makings for beef chow mien and fifteen books!!!! (I couldnt resist them - the local charity shop had them on sale for 25p each instead of 99p! the books I mean). but I felt great! such a buzz.

bluebag

I frequently go out and buy nothing, that's because I am a bit picky. It's comfort before style for me these days as I can't bear wearing something that isn't comfy.

I still go and have a look and a dream about high heels that I am never ever not in ten lifetimes going to wear!LOL.

I love people watching too, and seeing what they wear, it's like a moving fashion show sometimes and good fun.

So glad you were able to get the CSA thing rolling wheez, at least there was a positive to your day, and you kept going instead of giving in... that was brave.

Take care... I mean that, take care!!

weeze210

DansMum wrote: »

Weeze I hope you find your dream.... We all have a dream and it seems you really deserve it

As for hubby, knowing the motorcycle industry as I do (and I do) I think he may be dreaming too of the job with the off-roaders in Wales, sorry. The world and his dog apply for this kind of thing all the time (you should see the emails I get everyday)

I hope you can find some answers, but you do need to do something. I understand you dont need the stress of delegating, so start with something small and work your way up... Your daughter does some dusting hoovering etc, can you not ask her to dust the living room as well? And your son does his room and the dishwasher? Can he not mop the kitchen floor?

Hubby is 'in' with 'Mick Extance offroad experience', have you heard of him? Thats who he's helping out at weekends and occasionally in the week. They have spoken about a job and as far as I understand it when a job becomes available it will be offered to OH. They are a new company and even in these tough times seem to be expanding, so we'll see.

I really wanted to buy myself something, usually I don't spend any money on myself so was dissapointed that I couldn't find anything I liked. I also did the food shopping in Asda, I usually go to Tesco. It made a change to go somewhere else and I got a few bargains.

Weeze x

bluebag

weeze210 wrote: »

DansMum wrote: »

Weeze I hope you find your dream.... We all have a dream and it seems you really deserve it



I really wanted to buy myself something, usually I don't spend any money on myself so was dissapointed that I couldn't find anything I liked. I also did the food shopping in Asda, I usually go to Tesco. It made a change to go somewhere else and I got a few bargains.

Weeze x

Go you babes, that's a giant step! Well done, small steps but huge acomplishment.

I had to laugh with you not buying stuff for yourself, that takes a bit of practice, and to be honest almost everytime I have vouchers or money to spend I don't find anything I want to buy, but when I'm skint I see loads, it's s*ds law.

It takes a bit of time to find out what you like as well, I was the same, because I never wanted to 'waste' money on things for myself in case the kids needed anything I found it very hard to let go of that thinking.

I let go gradually, starting with treating myself to small things at first and worked up from there, I'm still not a mad spender, can't see me buying Prada anytimme soon!, but I don't allow myself to have second best anymore, I budget and plan in my expenses as just as important as anyone else's in the household.

After very hard financial times, it's a completely different mind set and I had to do it gradually as I was so scared of insecurity. Now I have more confidence in my own abilities to make best use of money I have.

I need time and a little money for me, I need my own space to grow, I need to allow the people around me to rely on me less so they are free to grow too. I am still there for them, but I am fair to myself as well .

Have fun!

Kimitatsu

Weeze - gosh I am just the same! Whenever I go out to specifically look for something for myself then I can never find anything!! Why not get yourself some nice bath things or something instead though? Its a little step and then you can treat yourself to a nice hot soak (I have been known to do this at lunchtime when there is no one else in the house just so I can get a bit of peace) and a bit of quiet time.

You sound lots more positive than you did in your first posts so well done you, you have taken the first steps along the road

I need time and a little money for me, I need my own space to grow, I need to allow the people around me to rely on me less so they are free to grow too. I am still there for them, but I am fair to myself as well .

This is soooo true - took me years to realise this, and now I take time out for myself and I am a better person for it. We all try to be superwoman and do it all, but in reality we all need to take time to smell the roses and just recharge the soul x

Doozergirl

Weeze, you've already been given some really great advice. Baby steps, getting your DS involved in the house work etc.

I know you were thinking about showing H this thread, but what about writing a letter to him instead? Then he won't feel miffed by anyone's comments and you can keep this for you.

I hate it when I go out and can't find anything. I thought the bath stuff idea was nice as you can't really fail in a mission like that. I was going to suggest though, as you like watching your movies in bed that you take yourself off to the cinema? When I'm in that same sort of place, feeling taken for granted, I know that I can go there at almost any time on any day and escape. And I can go and see films that H won't really like that involve romance and handsome men It's indulgent, safe, relatively inexpensive, I know how to get there and it's something that you can do alone without worrying that thinking you look odd. I don't go often but I started when I got some free tickets on the freebie thread and we had no babysitter. I went by myself and I enjoyed it.

I don't think going to Asda instead of Tesco is much of a stand, but it's the sort of thing I do and it's true that variety is the spice of life!