Teenager refusing school...Long Post :(

pimento

Why isn't the father also getting fined for his daughter not going to school?

Can she have the daughter taken into care?

Britwife

Personally, if that was my mom, she would be staying with me. Living in a safe house. I don't care how little room I have in my house, how little food I have in my house....nothing, absolutely nothing would stop me. Where there's a will, there's a way. Family is very important to me. Nobody should ever be treated that way.

Please get her out of there before she decides to do something drastic. Just help her get on her own.

Upset

Thank you for all the replies!

So i'm going to call my MIL2b to see if she will come and stay with us...We have offered in the past, Even last night, But the answer was no.! I feel she's so worried what might happen - If she does go!

We have also offered to take her daughter until she gets back on her feet. (She will attend school in our care!) Even if it results in me taking her into the class room.!

MIL2b has said she has no other choice now but to call social service's, because she has no where - No one to turn to!

Thanks again for reading, Its so confusing, Even i'm starting to loose track on whats happening! xx

Upset

pimento wrote: »

Why isn't the father also getting fined for his daughter not going to school?

Can she have the daughter taken into care?

Cant be sure, But i dont think he care's...As long as she's happy type thing! :mad:

balletshoes

Upset wrote: »

Afternoon all,

I normally use the forum under a different name, However, Since this is a personal subject, I feel the need to post under a new anon name.

I’m hoping someone can give me advice on helping my soon to be mother in law - I think she isn’t coping and without intervention she is either heading for a breakdown or “leaving it all behind”

Here’s the story so far,

She has a 22 year old son, Who is lazy, violent, Abusive.

The son, Has his girlfriend living there, She’s lazy & bone idol.

My MIL husband is the father of her children, He again is a general bully! Its always someone else’s fault. In his eye’s.


Then there is a 13 year daughter - Who quite frankly a spoilt brat!

She has seen her mother being abused now for so long, She feels the need to join in, Belittle her mother daily, Beats her up, Ect.

The week before Christmas, The 13 year old, Decided she was “ILL” so she never needed to go to school, However, This has continued to the current date.

Her mum is trying everything, But for her troubles she gets beaten up and bullied at every avenue.

Her mum (My MIL) Has taken her to the doctors - They say she’s fit & well, She’s been taken to the school to try and work through any issues, The daughter promises a lot, But does very little.

My OH has tried everything, But nothing works, He is the only one who shows any kind of love & support towards his mum - Which makes the situation worse, As we’re told to stop getting involved.

However, Every morning since the week before Christmas, I have had my MIL calling me in floods of tears saying to me, She cant cope, She feels she has no where to turn, She’s clearly suffering with depression however her husband says she don’t need a gp.


Sorry for the long post, I hope I haven’t confused you whilst reading.

So anyway, We’re going around in circles, My MIL is suffering, Her daughter isn’t going to school & my partner is clearly distressed!

What can we do..?

Have you been through anything similar?

How did your get through it?

Any advice is much appreciated


Upset :mad:

At the very least your MIL needs to see her doctor - if her husband doesn't agree with that, tough tooties. Tell her to make the appointment and you or your OH will go with her for moral support.
ETA ah I see she doesn't want to accept that kind of help yet, I'm not sure what you can do if she doesn't want to accept your help.

Britwife

Upset wrote: »

Thank you for all the replies!

So i'm going to call my MIL2b to see if she will come and stay with us...We have offered in the past, Even last night, But the answer was no.! I feel she's so worried what might happen - If she does go!

We have also offered to take her daughter until she gets back on her feet. (She will attend school in our care!) Even if it results in me taking her into the class room.!

MIL2b has said she has no other choice now but to call social service's, because she has no where - No one to turn to!

Thanks again for reading, Its so confusing, Even i'm starting to loose track on whats happening! xx

She's wrong, she has you to turn to. I would make sure that her daughter agrees to counselling. I feel her troubles are more than just being spoiled. And I like your thinking....I've always said, I will go to my child's classroom to make them go. I thank God I haven't, but I will do it.

God bless hun

bella*donna

I don't mean to sound harsh, but what does your MIL actually want to happen? What does she want from you?

She has to take some responsibility for herself. You have tried to take her to see her GP, she refused. You have offered her a place to stay, she refused. You can't help someone who won't let you.

sashadesade

You need to get her out of there as soon as possible. Not one person in that house has the slightest bit of regard for her and she's so downtrodden all she can do is take their abuse. She needs help desperately, please don't let her stay there any longer.

Britwife

bella*donna wrote: »

I don't mean to sound harsh, but what does your MIL actually want to happen? What does she want from you?

She has to take some responsibility for herself. You have tried to take her to see her GP, she refused. You have offered her a place to stay, she refused. You can't help someone who won't let you.[/

Most instances of domestic abuse victims won't leave or accept help because they are afraid.

heretolearn_2

Get OH round there with a suitcase and not to leave without his mum. Say it's to come stay with you or you'll get a battered womens refuge on her case!

Regarding the daughter, she's clearly damaged by the environment and abuse she's grown up witnessing. It may be too late to turn it around (and that's her mum's fault, sorry, but if she chose to go on and raise kids in an abusive environment, I know it's easy to get trapped, but she had resources available to her in you but refused help). Or this may be the shock she needs to understand that she has learned deviant behaviour. If she will come too, great, and get social services in and get them both as much help as possible.