Teenager refusing school...Long Post :(

lynzpower

meritaten wrote: »

lynzpower? wouldnt this child have had a social worker involved as the mother (why just the mother?) has been fined so many times for the childs truancy? forgive me if I am being naive, but surely social services would have been called in for a report?

Well yes I certainly would have thought so!

But if this hasnt happened ( and some local authorities would see plain truanting as "fairly low risk") then i can see how this girl could slip through the net.

lynzpower

http://www.londonmet.ac.uk/library/i81722_3.pdf

worth a quick read...

Tulip09

In my case the police automatically filled in reports to social services. It took 7 charges before they bothered to contact me and even then it was to reiterate how much i was to blame. (Really not so helpful when you are in the gutter level already) My husband was never charged once so im guessing it is easier to get the mother to try and comply with the education authority & the courts.

Kimitatsu

Move MIL2B in with you - let the child truant and Dad then gets called in.......child will soon go to school!

I have a stepdaughter who decided she didnt need to go to school - mother said she was powerless to stop her from not attending so I rang the school and had a long and involved conversation. Upshot was parents meeting with both parents, SS and EWO as well as head of year etc. Child was shocked to see everyone sitting around the table saying the same thing - it was a truly mastercard moment! Dad wont appreciate being told that his little princess really is a little s*d.

meritaten

I dont want to derail the thread, but as upset hasnt updated yet.........it really bothers me why its the MOTHERS who seem to be the ones taken to court and fined, even when the father is with the family! isnt this against some law? sexist or equality? it doesnt seem fair to me. I have had a teen son who was a school refuser and the last school he was at was fantastic with him. the other one - I shudder to think how many times I would have had to go to court! even though I am rather petite and son towered over me I am sure the courts would have expected me to carry him two miles to school - kicking and screaming all the way! (btw - I did that when he was in primary!)

Tulip09

LOL the courts dont say what they do expect you to do except make sure your child attends! but if you physically touched him/her (ie pushed into car/ pulled out of car/ pushed through the school gates) You will be arrested for assault on a child (also child abuse) - i have been there and got that t shirt also and still got charged for failing to make sure my child was in school that day - do i care NO. The police apoligised for arresting me , I have convictions that prevent me getting a job now, my now 17 year old is a guilty as hell about it years later but i tried to do the best by her trying to make her go to school. Every way you turn as a parent you are damned unless you child turns out to be perfect! Social services try and get through my door now and get it shut in their faces by my daughter lol

pupsicola

meritaten wrote: »

I dont want to derail the thread, but as upset hasnt updated yet.........it really bothers me why its the MOTHERS who seem to be the ones taken to court and fined, even when the father is with the family! isnt this against some law? sexist or equality? it doesnt seem fair to me. I have had a teen son who was a school refuser and the last school he was at was fantastic with him. the other one - I shudder to think how many times I would have had to go to court! even though I am rather petite and son towered over me I am sure the courts would have expected me to carry him two miles to school - kicking and screaming all the way! (btw - I did that when he was in primary!)

Very good points raised here. I love your posts

meritaten

pupsicola wrote: »

Very good points raised here. I love your posts

Thank you pupsicola! an unexpected but very welcome thanks! er - you probably havent seen some of my rants down on Discussion Time - That board brings out the very worst in me!!!!!!!!!!!:)

Upset

Morning all,

Thank you for every reply!
Each one is helpful in it’s own way.

I’ve only now had a chance to update due to not getting home until midnight last night, Then OH had work at 5am!

MIL2B was a broken women last night!
Her daughter had started again, Only this time she didn’t realise that me & OH was there. All because she was asked to pack her school bag for this morning.!

FIL2B wasn’t there, So it was easier to speak to MIL2B.

She’s agreed she cant go on like this anymore, But after a 2 hour chat, Its seems there is more to the daughter not going to school.

The daughter is getting continuous text message’s, Whilst we was there last night, I lost count but made it up to 35. She isn’t replying to any of them, Her Facebook has inbox after inbox from the same people,
Its only when her phone goes off, Or she logs onto FB that she becomes violent.

(So I was told yet - I don‘t believe. I think she‘s violent when she doesn‘t get her own way*
)
But she will not talk about it, Leave her phone laying around, Sign’s out of her Facebook just to use the toilet. I also found out she’s wetting the bed too!

MIL2B has told me, She IS going to the doctors, She’s going to call OH tonight with her appointment detail’s, He has offered to go with her.

(MIL2B told me last night she has suffered with depression in the past and can see the signs) < I can believe that, Living in that household!

Also…..MIL2B was waiting for FIL2B to come home last night after he just walked out, She told us, She was speaking to him last night about their relationship.

She is ready to walk, And we’re ready to put a roof over her head!
Over then psychically dragging MIL2B out the house, We had to accept her word, Which angered my OH much more!

I will update again when I can, Do you think the daughter is suffering cyber bullying? I’m off to researching it now!

Thanks again for all your assistance!

lynzpower

it could well be that she is being bullied, or that she is having some sort of cyber grooming going on.

If you need any advice or support and Im sure you all do, how about calling barnados/ nCH and seeing what they can offer?