How to tell them I'm having suicidal thoughts

meritaten

hun? why are you so stressed at work? can you share that with us? there may be something we can help with? to be so stressed because of work means there is something wrong there.............you dont HAVE to be specific, but you are definate its because of work that you feel suicidal. Can we try to help here?

ailuro2

The best advice given to me when I was depressed was to try and work out which problems were being caused by the chemical imbalance, and which ones were being caused by external factors, by sorting out the things I could do something about from the ones that would only be better once the problems with my serotonin etc. were sorted out, I felt more able to cope.

Just talking to someone who had seen tonnes of people in my situation and who was able to give me such a simple thing to help me cope was enough to let me trust them and let them help.

While there is stigma still attached to mental health issues, and of course some people who have never experienced it ( see idiotic post above from one such example) I think there are more and more people who DO understand, and who have been there and done that, as it were. Every case is different but by talking to someone who can help you have taken the first step towards feeling better. When I went to my GP he didn't just throw a prescription at me and send me packing, he organised blood tests ( to check for thyroid problems, diabetes etc because of the lethargy) and also suggested counselling.

I still agree with trying to focus on improving something in your life that's contributing to the way you feel right now - in your case it looks like it's work - so while you might feel trapped for now, spending a few minutes a day writing a list of skills you have to offer and then looking at jobs you would apply for if you were ready to move on... by reminding yourself of future goals your current job problems might seem less worrisome.

Exercise is also great for all sorts of health problems, now is not the weather to be out walking for miles, but taking a brisk 10 minute walk during your lunchbreak will get you out of work and get some fresh air, playing a Wii game will help relax you and concentrate on something else for a little while. Yes, you'll probably have to force yourself to do these things, but once you start it gets easier.

Best Wishes, your partner sounds like a problem shared will be a problem halved, hope you're feeling more yourself soon.

londoner1998

blondie_girl wrote: »

Thank you. This is different than the depression I have suffered in the past. I am going to an exercise class tonight with a friend which I know I will enjoy, and will take my mind off things. I just don't seem to be able to cope with the stress I am under in some parts of my life, and as the stress increases I think of suicide as the only way out. It becomes something I long for but know that it isn't a viable option.

I wish I could cope with this better

can you take a couple of days off work? Just last month something happened at work that set me off and I just completely lost interest and started a downwards spiral for a couple of weeks (and this is a job I started in May and I was so happy to get !) I took two days off and then Christmas came along... I spent some time at home, worked on a PhD proposal I had on the go, spent time with my OH and slept!! That helped me to put it in perspective and came back much more relaxed.

Keeping a dairy and writing how you feel can help enormously- I know it kept me going for many years until I fell apart and counselling came into the picture (but I lost my mum at 13 and it was me who found her bod, so as you can imagine, my case is not a standard one). You might find out there is a pattern to your change in thinking. I get a bit loopy before my period and go through periods of enormous energy and huge motivation and then end up deflated and feeling empty (I work in a creative industry and it can be intense and tough sometimes)- with time I have learned to recognise when I am about to crash- then , more sleep and regular food are my friends and sometimes, just accepting I am having a bad day...
I also know that I need something to focus on- otherwise, the lack of structure get to me- you need to find what's good for you.
Starting with an exercise class is a fantastic first move...
Keep going, we are here cheering for you!

Ax

londoner1998

Padstow wrote: »

You are working, well done. Think of all here who are looking for a job. You are one lucky girl. Get yourself together and shut up girl. You have everything going for you.

Ehem! someone is bitter... I have heard the 'you have everything going for you' before and believe me, it doesn't mean anything- when you are down, you are down and it hurts. This is about how the OP feels and right now she is not having the easiest of times, other people's opinion about whether she is lucky to be working or otherwise is irrelevant because we don't know the details of her situation. She came here for help, not judgement...
I hope you never feel like that and hear 'you have everything going for you'... you will realise it is not helpful at all...

londoner1998

I forgot to say, OP- make sure you eat plenty of greens, fruits and fish, as well as slow release carbs, and don;t go for hours without eating. And I would give a go at Magnesium tablets- they really helped me to even out my mood when I was at my worst. I now take them at times of heavy workload to keep myself even...

ailuro2

I forgot to mention that, I agree with Londoner 1998, eating healthily helps you too. I've not tried Magnesium but I do keep a little bottle of Bach's Rescue Remedy in my bag for when I feel a bit stressed out - I know it's only a few flower extracts but just popping a few drops in seems to be a signal now to tell myself to take a deep breath and lower my shoulders...

Primrose

blondie_girl wrote: »

Thank you everyone. I have told my partner how I feel and now it feels like we are in it together instead of me struggling on my own. There must be a way out of this mess.

One other thing you can try when you are on your own and wanting to cry. Take yourself to a comfortable place, lie down, shut your eyes and let your whole body totally relax. Try breathing in and out deeply for ten minutes. It's surprising what a calming effect this can have. The intake of oxygen should help reduce any current feelings of anxiety you may be having. If you can get into a regular habit of this deep breathing whenever you are feeling particularly low, it may, over time, also lift your mood.

Good luck. You've already taken two of the hardest steps to getting over this - sharing your feelings with us, and now with your partner. Why don't you go over to the Old Style Thread and look for the "Five Reasons a Day to feel good" and on your good days, try to post on there. You may have to search hard on some days to find five reasons but it will help you remember that good things are still happening in your life and all around you.

blondie_girl

I feel that this is much different than depression, although there is some crossover. I went out tonight with my friend to an exercise class and then out and we had a lovely time, I was happy.

But when it comes to going back to work I just fall apart. Today I cried driving to work, and all through the day. Luckily it was quiet and I managed to avoid people and hide in the toilets. I'm sure some people must have seen my red eyes.

This is why I don't think antidepressants, or even counselling is the way to go. It is simply stress from my work situation, but it is affecting me to the point of total breakdown.

I don't feel like I want to go into detail but my job is certainly not secure. I have a lot of tasks to do that I find very difficult and there is no-one to help me. There is too much to do and I feel like I am a failure. I haven't been sucessful in finding another job although I have been looking so I feel trapped. There are many other problems but I won't go into them all now. All of this makes me feel so helpless and like a failure.

I feel calm now because I am at home, safe and secure with someone to look after me. Back in work on Monday I will probably be in the same state as when I started this thread

N3WLIFE

Hey hun, glad to hear you are feeling better for now. I have to say that I have felt exactly like you, and it was mostly work related. I felt very depressed and deflated. I would cry on the way to work, cry in the toilets and hope no one noticed my red eyes.

The pressure was too much for me as it was a private lab and I had no escape as I was/still am the breadwinner.

I use to cry driving to and from work to the point where I couldnt see where I was going. I use to think maybe I should speed up and swerve off the road.

Ive had ADs for a time and they didnt work, I had three counsellors which kindof helped me put things into perspective-but they cant change who you are inside and how you feel.

You have to take one day at a time (corny but true), if you work hard at trying to find a better job, it will eventually happen.

You sound like a strong person, depression or no depression-you can get through this! It sounds like you have a good support system in your partner and im happy for you in that sense.

To be honest I felt like you today about everything in general.

But you are a strong person, there is a lot of positive in your life. Its just that when those feelings build up, positive things are harder to see

Take care of yourself hun x

snoop2008

blondie_girl wrote: »

I feel that this is much different than depression, although there is some crossover. I went out tonight with my friend to an exercise class and then out and we had a lovely time, I was happy.

But when it comes to going back to work I just fall apart. Today I cried driving to work, and all through the day. Luckily it was quiet and I managed to avoid people and hide in the toilets. I'm sure some people must have seen my red eyes.

This is why I don't think antidepressants, or even counselling is the way to go. It is simply stress from my work situation, but it is affecting me to the point of total breakdown.

I don't feel like I want to go into detail but my job is certainly not secure. I have a lot of tasks to do that I find very difficult and there is no-one to help me. There is too much to do and I feel like I am a failure. I haven't been sucessful in finding another job although I have been looking so I feel trapped. There are many other problems but I won't go into them all now. All of this makes me feel so helpless and like a failure.

I feel calm now because I am at home, safe and secure with someone to look after me. Back in work on Monday I will probably be in the same state as when I started this thread

Hiya there Blondiegirl,

When you have many things to think about, everything can feel overwhelming and confusing. Stress in the work place can be tough when you don't feel strong enough or able to cope. Feeling like a failure is only due to the combinations of things going on in your life at moment, it doesn't actually mean you are!!

Your trying to find solutions to your situations and when there is a lot of stuff going on, everything becomes or seems to be intolerable.

Thats the dreaded anxiety of worrying and trying to do your best unders sometimes differcult circumstances. Remember what you said, when your home you feel safe and secure, and work makes you feel the opposite. It's a different environment, where your expected to do what you would normally do, but no one is a machine!! everyone feels the pressure of work and its load, and it can get you down. You just want to feel secure and safe at work and that is what is causing your stress to rise and make you feel inadequate. Your not inadequate, just trying to cope and keep your job which says a great deal about you a person who does have a lot of strength and persistance to keep going.

As regarding your other situations, if it is possible it's a good idea to tackle one thing at a time. Anxiety sufferers often put too much expectation on themselves to perform to get things done or right first time. They often never leave room to find what I call a healthy balance, meaning, do what you can. If you begin a task and you need to take time out to think things through, then do. Finding an ACCEPTABLE LEVEL of what you can do is good enough!! It doesn't mean failure!! In fact there is no such thing as failure when you try to do something within your capabilities at the moment.

Learning to appreciate that you are good at what you do, is hard to accept when your feeling down but thats part of human nature and everything you achieve however small, then that must also be recognised as a success. Often anxiety robs us of our self esteem and when were down our thoughts sway towards extreme thinking which leads to a downward spiral.

So please remember, your a great person, Stress can be tolerated by learning to do things in the right measure, don't put too much high expectation on yourself to doing everything right the first time.

Tackle one at a time, be satisfied you have attempted it, this will put less pressure on yourself and you will feel you have at least made effort in one thing.


All the best