The Giving Up Smoking Thread - Part 3

Sue-UU

£5 whoopsies, Erme?? Why not walk rather than shelve out a FIVER for a cab??!! :shocked:

Have a good day.

Sue x

smileytiger

Hi guys

Sorry not been around much - life's a total nightmare at the moment:mad:

Am now at 32 days smoke free:D - the only positive thing that's keeping me going...lol.

OH is driving me nuts and then i feel really guilty for arguing with him (he's disabled, long story - but his condition means he doesn't sleep much) - but we've both just done about 7 or 8 days with hardly any sleep - ok for him he doesn't leave the house and can catch up nap during the day - but i've got a 12 hour a day job to hold down and i'm feeling really hacked off at him whinging about stuff. He's been like this for 2 years now and i'm just about at the end of my rope - doc's can do nothing else for him & he'll be like this for life - some days are fine almost normal - but then we get a run of days when he's not coping at all - but it's the not sleeping that's the killer cos then we're both cranky and argumentative about any old rubbish. I slept on the sofa last night cos i had to get some sleep before work today, and we both said some awful things last night, and i don't even know if i want to go home again this afternoon ( have an early finish today) Sorry if i'm ranting but it helps to hammer it out on the keyboard and get it off my chest!

ok and breathe...anyways it's my last day at work today then at least i'm off until the New Year - i'm so looking forward to not having 6.30am wake up calls - when i've only gotten to sleep at 4.00am..:(

Keep up the good work everyone & have a fab Christmas if i don't 'see' you again before then & if they haven't carted me away for murder;)..sometimes wish i didn't love the stubborn old goat - would make things much easier...

Hugs to all
Chrissie .xx

Erme

Sue-UU wrote: »

£5 whoopsies, Erme?? Why not walk rather than shelve out a FIVER for a cab??!! :shocked:

Have a good day.

Sue x

Simple logic Sue - Always go over budget on holidays....

Also like my train home doesn't get in till 9pm if not later and there's no way I'm walking 30 minutes home with all my luggage when it's freezing cold and the pubs are open.....Simple....:D

Am walking enough on this holiday cos bus pass doesn't work south of the border :eek: and one day it could cost me £4.20 in bus fares alone :eek:

So figure I will walk to town (30 mins each way) and catch the bus to my friends from there thus saving £2.10.....:A...

Also means I can have a wee browse round the shops in the high st on the way there

Probably more expensive than catching a bus by the time I've finished but still :rotfl:

E

Sue-UU

smileytiger wrote: »

Sorry if i'm ranting but it helps to hammer it out on the keyboard and get it off my chest!

..sometimes wish i didn't love the stubborn old goat - would make things much easier...

Hugs to all
Chrissie .xx

Oh bless you dear Chrissie...and you're giving up the cigs too!! You end your post with "Hugs to all"..yet it's you who needs them and I'd love to spend an hour or so with you just so you could talk it all out and I could give you the hugs you need.

Please Chrissie, any time you feel like this, come on and tell us...me..and do please always give vent to your feelings, we all need to and right now it's quite possibly both of you who are going through the mill.

Fact is though that you do love him, so, if you're reading this, then hold him and say the simple words "I'm sorry" which I dearly hope will spark the same from him and you can both be in each others love whilst you're off work and can enjoy some of the good times together.

If you get to screaming point, go into a room away from him, find a pillow and hold it round your face and scream into it. It alone will hear you and take away all sounds from anyone else. Do you have any family, friends to confide in? If you do and can trust her/him/them (even if they're his family members) use them to get it all out, you only need one person to help make all the difference in the world.

I know you say he can sleep during the day when you're at work, and that's very true, BUT could he be sleeping too much and that be part of the reason for ruining his night's sleep??! Is he able to do things in the day? If so then on good days encourage him to do more if it's possible, anything to help tire him for later. Whenever you have bad times (easy to say, but...) try to bite your tongue and walk away for a few moments to get your composure. Try the old adage of counting to ten before you answer...or shout the words in your mind.

Is you DH able to walk or is him perhaps being wheelchair bound causing much of his frustration? Only answer as much as you're comfortable with, please.

Please Chrissie, always remember that you can PM me at any time (!!) and I'll get back to you as a friend and confidant not out of nosiness! Alternatively, if you want to just pour your heart out privately (off thread) then I'm almost always here, so never hesitate. The ins and outs of it all are for you both alone, but if I can help in any way..please, please remember I'm here for you.

I wish you both a very Merry Christmas and a safe, healthy and Happy New Year, one that will somehow change your circumstances for the better...for you both

At times such as last night, Chrissie, then sleep on the couch! If you're not getting the sleep you need how can you keep a job and care for you both - sleep is vital!! Many congratulations on 32 days without fags!!!! :T Thankfully you're without them as they only make you more stressed in any case!

Love and so very many {{{Hugs}}}, Sue :kisses3:

smileytiger

Thanks Sue - was so wound up at work i just had to have a good old moan!

It's really complicated as he's not in a chair and has a unpredictable random illness. From the neck down he has no proper conscious control of the rest of his body. It's hard to explain - but he shakes/jumps/twitches etc sometimes all night long - sometimes not at all, somedays he can walk almost ok (painful to do but doable) other days one step and he hits the floor.

Neither of us copes with it to be honest as he just woke up one morning and couldn't move properly. He's had cervical spine surgery and had 2 artificial implants put in to stop the damage spreading - but they can't undo all the nerve damage already caused by his spinal cord being crushed.

When it's good - things are good, we laugh, we have fun etc
When it's bad - we shout, scream & cry

He said he'd understand if i wanted a divorce so i wasn't stuck with a 'cripple' (his words), but it's not just black and white like that - i can't walk away from him.

The problem with other people is they look at him and he looks normal. It's only when he moves about or tries to that it's obvious there's a problem, so other people don't really take it seriously as he's not in a chair and obviously disabled. I have some really good friends but in 2 years i've bored them to death with all this, so i tend not to go on about it and bottle it up - which just makes for bigger bangs when we collide!

I know his temper is a frustration thing - going from being tough guy ex army, in a full time manual job, to not being able to get in the bath without help has somehow robbed him of what it is to be a man.

Anyways we plod on DS no 2 is home from Uni for Chirstmas so at least we've got a referee:D

Thanks for listening it does help just being able to ramble on & to be honest through the grief - have felt chuffed i haven't had a fag - would have normally got through 30+ a day before i quit at times like this so it's not all bad

Thanks agaun Sue - you're a star .xx

Sue-UU

Hi again Chrissie, reading through and about it all, it's little wonder you both get so very frustrated, it has to be equally terrible for the pair of you. It must be awful to go from having a fully normal life one minute to all that in a seemingly short amount of time. He certainly has my sympathy, but then so do you!

I can understand how you feel with your friends, but are you sure it isn't you who 'feels' you've bored them to death? I can be here for you and will gladly do so, but I can't help feel it's the physical "heart to heart over a cuppa" sort of chats that would most benefit you, and if either of your friends shows the slightest interest at any time - do please open up. Even if it's only for a short amount of time and only once every now and then you need not to be bottling it all up.

It was good of him to offer you a way out, but if you've love that comes and is given from and by you both, it would be so very hard, just about unbearable I would have thought, but it's easy to think how he felt he had to offer it to you, brave even!

You obviously both need to live for all the wonderful times you share, and where possible to try quickly to bypass the temper outbursts, (which are bound to happen and are inevitable as well as being a safety valve for the two of you) and make up asap.

You need to do all the below when the times are right for them, all are the most natural of responses to all those in such predicaments as you are and the latter ones are so good for you as it's a great way for you both to vent;

"When it's good - things are good, we laugh, we have fun etc
When it's bad - we shout, scream & cry"

If you can talk to your DD just a little then do so, and time out shopping or walking for the two of you together would do you the world of good.

You are the star for keeping off the fags throughout it all, Chrissie!

Don't forget, any time.

Hugs, Sue x

Erme

I am sorry for not sharing your pain sooner Tiger...but well done you. Hats off to you coping with all the stress of disabled and crushed hubbie and no cigs...

You are doing so well hun and am so proud of you...

Feel free to rant on here whenever you need to hun.....we don't mind....

Sue I have some good news

Binned the nasal spray yesterday pm :j...

Had one in the morning and hated it and thought 'maybe today's the day?'....

Know it's going to be tough adjusting for a few days but know I can get enough nic from the e-cig so why worry? Know I've not got long before another nic concentration reduction :j and everyone @ the hospital is so pleased I'm on the e-cig ...Even my psych was happy and was on the ward visiting a friend (who is very sick. Please pray for him. His name is Matthew and he's sectioned. Doesn't even realise how ill he is and he's been like it for months apparently ) and like I was vaping and like the nurse saw me (who knows I vape and also smokes) and was about to say something then like realised I was vaping and like just smiled and said 'Boy everyone should get one of those Erme'.... :A as she knows how long I've been on it (15 weeks tomorrow )

Anyhow that is all my news so I'd best go now...boy it's warm in here and boy the sky was red this am

e

Sue-UU

Erme wrote: »

Sue I have some good news

Binned the nasal spray yesterday pm :j...

Had one in the morning and hated it and thought 'maybe today's the day?'....

Please pray for him. His name is Matthew and he's sectioned. Doesn't even realise how ill he is and he's been like it for months apparently )

What a blessing Matthew doesn't realise as it would be far worse for him. No worries, Erme, I'll hold him in my prayers and lets hope he'll soon get well and stay well.

Brilliant news of binning the spray, Erme, that's terrific news, well done you!!! :T:T The best time to ditch it is when you dislike it so intensely and you do have it in the e-cig so all's good. You're heading along the path in a great way, Erme...keep plodding on and be proud of all you've achieved so far.

Hugs, Sue xx

Erme

Well that's the point I got to after about a week of heavy reductions.....(I mean going from 20 sprays a day to 6 to 4 to 3 to 2)....

I mean you know the other morning I had two sprays and hated the effect so much I had to reduce asap down to one...

And I wasn't even needing my am early am fix till about 11am as it was. Morning coffee (first one of the morning) doesn't bother me. Quite happy on my peace pipe

I think tonight or tomorrow (not sure) I reduce by another 2mg/ml which is roughly a month since I last reduced and I know I can do that nae bother so not worried...actually quite confident. It's quite fun when I reduce cos I get a different flavour:) (so long as it's not too strong. Have made up cafe latte this time ..hope it's okay..Normally have about 1ml (2%) flavouring per 50ml only this time but a little more than that in...:eek:). Don't think I've actually tried the coffee flavouring yet - had it in months. Am a sucker for black cherry flavour. First it was vanilla - now it's black cherry. Love it - yummy

So yeah thanks Sue for the encouragement and you know when you upset me it's just cos I'm not well (and have barely been well all winter. Not quite sure how I've managed to avoid hospital ) and I'll have a break from the board then return

E

Sue-UU

Don't worry Erme, I quite understand what you mean so we'll just forget about that and bury the hatchet.

You're doing so well these days, keep strong and keep up the willpower!

Sue x

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